This was not meant to happen this way
by jilby
Summary: Set in the early 1800's Bella and Edward are set to be married when their lives are torn apart by betrayal, heartbreak and anguish.Can they make it back to where they were meant to be.
1. Chapter 1

Copyright © 2009 Jillian Lammers

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted, in any form or by any means, without the permission of the author.

This work is fiction and references to any locality, town or country are not to be construed as reality. All fictional characters have no connection to any person, living or deceased.

This book in its form on the internet as Twilight Fan Faction cannot be sold by any person and remains the property of the Author. The Author acknowledges the names of the characters from the Twilight saga by Stephanie Meyer. This work cannot be reproduced in part or full without the Author's permission.

This fiction is part of my novel called 'Wulfgar' which I am publishing myself and I have changed the names of my hero and heroine to suit Twilight fan fiction. I can be reached at if anyone is interested in purchasing the complete novel or any publishing house is interested.

_**This was not meant to happen this way**_

_Signs, moans...the sounds of lovemaking travelled to her disbelieving ears. Before her eyes the reality destroyed her, murdering her swiftly with the knife of betrayal, taking her life...killing all the love in her young, naïve heart._

_His bronze hair was ruffled, falling over his shoulders as the fluttering candlelight highlighted the muscles of his arms and torso. She stared at his masculine beauty as her breath caught in her throat and agony struck her heart. She heard his moans of pleasure as he gathered the woman into his arms and Bella struggled to accept the harsh reality before her as the woman stared at the window laughing, knowing who would be watching. Heartbroken, Bella stared at the ring he had given her. She pulled it from her finger, throwing it into the darkness of the night._

_Leaving the only evidence of her presence...the small shoe prints and the droplets of moisture on the window, she fled as panic seized her, fear making her incapable of confronting the lovers. Shock numbed her body and reality eluded her as she mounted her horse, riding down an unfamiliar road. The dam of tears burst, flooding her face in rivers of hate. Anger seized her...she could not accept that it had all been a lie. She rode on and on into the night as a storm_

_gathered. The wind gusted around her. The thunder roared and the lightning struck but she rode on regardless, not knowing or caring where she was going._

_**Prologue:** _

It was a brilliant summer day in Denali and there were many ships in the Port. The sun was hot but a cool breeze was blowing off the water, making the afternoon heat bearable. The seagulls were screeching, diving on the scraps of food thrown by the children.

The boy was nine and the girl seven. He had been named Edward for his grandfather and he was tall and strong for a boy his age. His hair was an unusual brown colour with highlights of red so that it appeared to be a glorious burnished bronze, especially in the sun. He loved to work with leather and iron as he helped his father make saddles and horseshoes. But most of all, he loved horses. Although he was young, he was told that he had a special gift to calm even the wildest horse. He spent many hours rubbing down the coats of the horses in the Livery and it seemed that he almost had a magical touch as each horse became endeared to him and he regarded each animal as his friend. He always felt sad when the owners collected their horses at the end of the week and he had begged his father for his own horse. His father had always told him that they were poor and only just made a living but he had persisted, working hard, saving any money that came his way. He knew that one day he would have a horse of his very own.

She was dark haired and brown skinned. Her parents had named her for her grandmother, Isabella Swan but her family and friends called her Bella. Her father's family came from Germany and her mother's from Ireland. The family trade which had been passed down for centuries had become a profitable business as Bella's father was the best baker in Denali. His bakery was always busy. Charlie felt proud of

his business accomplishments and was happy he could buy the little special things his daughter loved. He also felt that

she deserved to be spoilt as he knew that she worked hard for a little girl, helping him with kneading the bread and making the pies. She also swept up at the end of the day but today he had told her she could have a holiday. The boy's father, Carlisle, had asked the Swans if their daughter could come down to the docks with him and his son for the day while Carlisle delivered some metalwork to a ship in Port, just arrived from Northern Europe. Bella was so excited she had her mother pack a picnic.

Edward giggled as he took more bread from the bag held by Bella who laughed also, wriggling up her nose and squinting her brown eyes as she looked into the sun to see the birds dive and fight over the crumbs she threw into the ocean. Edward stared at her and thought that she was beautiful. He threw another handful of crumbs into the sea and smiled at Bella as she leant over the side of the ship, watching the foaming water of the incoming tide.

He took her hand. 'Come with me,' he asked. Like conspirators they ran along, dodging the ropes and goods loaded on the deck of the merchant ship. The sailors smiled at them as they ran past until they reached the bow of the ship and gazed out to the headland of the harbor to the open sea.

Bella looked into his face, which seemed suddenly serious and years of maturity covered his features as he took her into his arms and pointed out to the horizon.

'One day I will take you there. We shall travel the world and you shall be my wife. I love you Bella.'

His words were spoken in the innocence of youth and then they both giggled and ran off to play.

_**Part One**_

_**Lies**_

_Oh, what a tangled_ _web we weave,_

_When we practice to_

_Deceive_

_William Blake_

_**One**_

America, early 1800s

Steam rose from the basin, multiplying the beads of perspiration on her forehead as she imagined a life of luxury. The Tavern was popular, leaving Bella tired…tired of waiting on other people. Her feet ached and she longed to languish in a hot bath, finally able to forget her duties…for a while a least! She mentally recounted all the chores she had done that day…milk the cows, weed the garden, do the washing, cook breakfast and then she had started to work in the Tavern, setting the tables, serving customers and baking. She was so tired and the day was not finished yet. Sighing listlessly, she suddenly wished for her life to be different.

She remembered the past year…the saddest one she had ever known. She had lost her father that winter to a fever sweeping the east coast and she sorely missed his happy smile and loving eyes. All the family had come down with the fever except for Bella. She remembered that week as the hardest of her life as she had been bone tired, dragging herself from one sick bed to the other, washing, cleaning, cooking…trying to keep the hands of death from her loved ones but she had not been successful. Her father had died and she sometimes blamed herself. Perhaps there was more she could have done?

Her mother had comforted her, telling her that there was nothing she could have done to stop her father dying but the wound still existed in Bella's heart. He had weak lungs and

the doctor had said that the fever had been too severe for his body to fight. But she still continued to blame herself. She she had cried for days. She had shared her grief with Edward who also lost his father to the disease in the cold month of November. Like her, Edward had not become ill and he had helped her as much as he could while he tried to keep the Bakery and the Livery Stable still working to bring money into both households. Their grieving for their fathers brought Bella and Edward closer than they had been before and their young love blossomed.

Bella's mother had recovered first and then the children but she suffered with the burden left to her of raising her four children alone and she constantly eworried how she was going to care for her family. She managed to start a business to give the family of five a livelihood as she could not work the Bakery on her own. In the first early days after she had laid her husband in his grave, she had tried to run the Bakery with Bella's help but the work was exhausting. She could not possibly stay awake all night baking and then fulfill her motherly duties to her children and keep house. Bella had done all that she could do but the Bakery was losing business.

With the help of Edward Cullen the downstairs living area of the family home had been refurbished into an eating house and then several months later the Tavern had opened for business. Gradually the business started to show a profit and the burden of being the provider for the family seemed to ease. Eventually Renee started to believe that she could keep her family together. She had rebelled when the Preacher had told her that she may have to consider putting her children in the care of other families who needed children to work and keep house. She had rudely refused the

suggestion although she felt ashamed at her response but she would not lose her children. She had lost her husband. Was that not hard enough to bear? But now life seemed to be almost normal.

For Bella the burden of hard work and responsibility weighed heavily on her young shoulders, making her feel envious of other girls her age whose lives seemed to be so carefree. She watched them from the kitchen window, wandering around the town, shopping, meeting with their friends and with each giggle that Bella heard, her angst seemed to grow and her resentment festered.

She yawned sleepily, rubbing her eyes, willing her lassitude to pass. A sweet song taught by her father came to mind and, as she sang, she remembered his music as well as the love he had given her. He had played the piano in their dining room and she loved to sit at his side and listen to his beautiful voice singing the ballads of his homeland. He had started to teach her to play and she had already mastered a few tunes but now the piano was gone, sold to pay bills and Bella missed the sound of his merry laughter and the music he had created. Tears fell from her eyes as she thought of him, missing him so much, cursing the fever which had taken his life. She remembered a favourite song he used to sing to her and slowly her voice lifted in memory of her father and peace settled on her heart. Her spirit lifted while she sang and the chore of wiping the dishes seemed less burdensome.

It was finally the end of the day and almost closing time. It had been the busiest day Bella had known in a long time. Several ships had arrived in the port of Denali that day…tall sailing ships and also cargo vessels filling the town with seamen and passengers.

As Bella placed the dishes on the dresser, she sighed wistfully, her mind far away imagining the ships being unloaded. Her wish…to sit on the dock and watch the sunset

and sea birds flock to the shore. She loved the many species…the seagulls and the pelicans. She loved to watch the birds but she also loved to observe the people. They sometimes seemed so colorful and interesting. Many people came from distant lands and she was always fascinated by their clothes, their language and the mystery of their homelands. She wondered if she would ever see the world and then she remembered Edward's promise to take her across the seas and she sighed then not knowing how that could happen…between them, their finances were meager. She had wanted to forget about the hard things of life and just sit on the dock and idle away the day but sadly she knew her wish had not come true, not today anyway. Not as often as she wished she managed to escape her daily duties, sitting with Edward on the dock, watching the tide come in and feeding the seagulls as they had done when they were children.

Now her feet ached, her head started to throb as a longing to escape competed with her sense of loyalty. She knew that her mother needed her. Was she not the eldest? The responsibility had to fall on her shoulders for there was no-one else. Alice was almost useless. She avoided work as much as she could and this infuriated Bella. She had tried to reason with her but Alice had a selfish streak and always seemed to disappear when there was work to be done. Bella sighed knowing she should not think badly of her sister. She did love her. Alice just did not seem to worry about anything. She thought that all the problems would work out but Bella was the opposite. She was always anxious and worried about the bills being paid. She giggled as she

remembered that she had worried that morning that the chickens were not laying as many eggs.

Just then Bella heard her mother speaking to the departing customers as she visualized her mother hanging the 'closed' sign on the door. However, she listened intently as she thought she heard other voices. Bella peeked through the slatted wooden door.

'No, it is not too late, please do come in!'

Suddenly the door swung open as Renee hurried into the kitchen, smiling. She smoothed her black curls from her forehead.

'Oh, good, you are nearly finished in here...only the Denali's to serve, and then we're done. What a day!'

Bella still frowned, not answering her mother. She wanted to go and soak in a hot bath. Her back was aching and she had a headache. She wanted to escape, not serve Tanya Denali, of all people!

Renee watched the expressions on her daughter's face and she sighed.

'Why are you bothered by her? She does not have a chance with Edward; you know that he loves you.'

Bella stared at her mother, knowing that she spoke the truth but there had always been something about Tanya Denali that had aggravated her. Tanya had always teased and taunted Bella who just did not want to have to face her today.

'Bella, cheer up. You are just tired, that is all. It has been an exhausting day for both of us.'

Her mother's words filled Bella with remorse as she rubbed her aching temples and straightened her back.

'I am sorry Mother. I will try harder. I will serve them!'

Bella smoothed her apron and adjusted her bonnet as she took a deep breath. She entered the room, carefully holding the tray of tea and scones, as anxiety gripped her stomach in knots. She knew she should not let Tanya worry her but Bella did not like people staring at her. Tanya had always made her feel nervous. Bella placed the tray on the table as her hands shook. Searing eyes of hate fell on her...despising...critically scrutinising. Their eyes met, their gazes locked as the tension hung in the dining room like a dense fog.

'Your tea,' Bella said as she served the women. The words were polite, the sweetness feigned as the effort to be hospitable became unbearable. Tears started to form in Bella's eyes but she stubbornly willed their non-existence.

_**Two**_

Tanya did not speak to Bella...only stare, a withering stare of contempt. She fluffed the lace around her collar and smoothed the expensive satin of her elegant dress, willing Bella to notice. Tanya was blessed with beauty, so similar in appearance to Bella, she was often thought to be her twin but their physical likeness was the only resemblance they shared. Since her birth, Tanya had been spoilt and indulged. Her father virtually owned the town as he had inherited all his real estate from his great grandfather, Charles Denali who had founded the town in the 1600s. Charles Denali had been an adventurer but he had settled beside the river which flowed into the deep, natural harbor. He had travelled to the larger commercial settlements and encouraged merchant vessels to use his port. As the years went by, commerce grew and now merchant vessels and clipper ships sought out Port Denali making the town a hive of hospitality and industry.

Due to her wealth and station, Tanya was the most popular amongst the young people of the town. She bought her friends...adding people to her collection like objects of art. The thrill of the chase entranced her as she never refused to retreat from the game of conquest. She had always been jealous of Bella Swan for the fact that most of the children in the town sought out Bella's company. Tanya could not understand it. Bella was poor...she had nothing to offer but

they always wanted to play with her. From a young age, Tanya found ways to take Bella's friends from her...luring them with expensive presents, elaborate parties and telling them lies about Bella, spinning her webs of intrigue so that Bella was shunned and disliked. At those times, Bella had

always defended herself but then withdrew, too hurt to worry about it. She could not face the ridicule or the taunting.

As she stared at her nemesis, Bella could not forget the past, feeling the hurts as if they were yesterday. She heard Tanya's voice but Bella did not acknowledge that she had heard what Tanya had said. The truth was that the words burnt into her heart, probing a vulnerable shred of her emotions and her stomach turned with nerves and annoyance. She turned her head away and did not answer the probing question Tanya had just demanded of her. What did she care if she had nothing much to wear to the ball? Trust Tanya to rub that in her face. She had been fretting about that for days. Bella cursed under her breath as she hurried from the room.

Whispering to her mother, Tanya spoke of Bella as she watched her rush from the room. She told her mother she wanted to invite Edward Cullen to their formal dinner party that night. Her mother only smiled, knowing she did not have the power to deny Tanya her desires. Tanya smiled, wishing to bring despair to Isabella Swan because she hated her for having the one thing Tanya wanted...Edward Cullen. She had been in love with him a long time but he had only always been friends with Isabella Swan and this fact was the source of Tanya's chagrin and plans of intrigue. Tanya had tried so many tricks...told so many lies and used so much bribery to take Edward's affection and he had always spurned her. She vowed to never give up...it was simple...she wanted him. She would lay awake at night, imagining his hands on her and his mouth covering hers. She would dream of him and her dreams flamed her waking passions. She felt her temperature rise as she thought of it now and pulled her

fan from her purse to cool the beads of perspiration on her forehead.

As Bella had fled from her enemy, she had heard her fiancé's name mentioned and her thoughts became irrational as jealousy tore savagely into her logical mind. She paced the kitchen, knowing that Tanya had succeeded again to upset her. Why did she let this happen? Had she not learned from all the times before?

Thoughts of Edward filled her mind and she wished she could hold him in her arms and feel his strength. She wished him to be here, right now. Frustration seethed within her as

she wished she could remove Tanya Denali from her life. She remembered all the taunts and teasing...all the lies and

cheating, despising Tanya so much she felt guilty, remembering the Pastor's words each Sunday about loving our neighbour, even our enemy. Bella despaired, wondering how she could ever love Tanya Denali.

Sweeping the floor, Bella repressed the tears brimming in her eyes as she listened to hear Tanya's departure, waiting to

hear that they had gone. Instead, she heard voices...a sickly voice of seductive sweetness.

'Edward, it is so delightful to see you.'

Bella ground her teeth in fury, staring through the curtained widow.

Edward gazed at the two women who wanted his attention but the words meant for him were ignored as he turned to walk inside the Tavern.

Confidently, oozing the power that comes with control, Tanya grabbed his arm, stalling his footsteps. Her voice was a deep sensual purr.

'Edward, do not hurry away. I wish to ask you if you would care to join us for supper. Mother has a new cook from France and we are entertaining a famous musician from Germany. He will be playing for us! Please come, Edward I want you to come!'

Her invitation was a demand. She wished to own him…have him at her command as she had done with every young man in the town. They followed her around the town; fawning all over her like a drone of insects but she wanted none of them. The one man she wanted, did not want her and she seethed with angst and frustrated plans for acquisition. She stared into his eyes, seeking his attention, wishing and needing his devotion.

He shook her arm away. 'Bella and I have our wedding plans to finalise. Good evening to you both.'

Bella turned from the window and suddenly he was in her arms. He was tall and so handsome she could not believe that he was hers and that he loved her. He smiled and set her life alight with joy. The whole day seemed brighter and her despair of before left her. Contentment dispelled the ravages of Bella's jealousy as his hands touched her face and he drew his body closer to hers. Her pulse thumped in her wrist

and she felt faint. She leant against him and his lips descended onto hers. The world ceased to exist around them as passion held their young hearts and the fire threatened to take their innocence. Slowly, he released her and a smile of triumph brought her features alive with happiness as Edward stared at her in awe. She had always been the light in his life and he adored her. He held her to him and then put her at arm's length to stare into her eyes.

'Tonight?' he asked, hurriedly kissing her again as he left her embrace. Her answer was a wistful smile as she watched

Edward leaves. He disappeared through the door and she sighed as she went about her duties.

She hurriedly swept the floor of the kitchen, suddenly feeling alive and awake even though she had been so tired before. She stirred the beef and vegetable stew on the wood stove and took the warm bread rolls from the oven. She imagined her own life in the future...she would be Edward's wife and the mother of his children. Daydreams filled her mind of a table filled with beautiful children, boys and girls with Edward's coloured hair and her brown eyes. The girls would be pretty and sweet. The boys, strong and handsome like their father. She saw Edward seated at the head of the table as he did the blessing on the food and they all held hands.

She placed napkins on the table together with bowls for her three sisters and her mother as she imagined the bowls were for her own children in the cottage beside the river.

Her youngest sisters ran into the kitchen, laughing and noisy as they pulled out their chairs and picked up their knives and forks. Bella stared at them...their young beautiful faces with smudges of dirt from their play in the yard and Bella smiled at them. The back door opened and Bella lifted her gaze to smile at her mother and Alice who also took their chairs at the table. Renee said the blessing and they all concentrated on their meal. During dinner the family chatted about the day and it was a happy time together. Alice kept Bella busy with wedding plans and Bella felt so excited knowing that the event she had longed for was almost to become reality.

Renee went to her desk after dinner to balance her budget books, instructing Alice to help Bella with the younger girls' bath but even though Alice said she would help, she

disappeared soon after dinner, leaving Bella to finish the evening tasks. Bella put the warming pan in her sister's beds, read them a story, said prayers with them and tucked them in. By then her previous energy had evaporated and she felt so tired she could crawl in beside them but she had promised Edward she would go to their cottage. There were final arrangements to make to their future home. She had to make the bed with the new sheets she had bought and she wanted everything to be just right for their wedding night. She shrugged off her tiredness as she turned down the lantern and went to the kitchen. She poured a cup of coffee for herself and her mother.

She found her mother with her head over her books and Bella believed her mother felt as tired as herself. She rubbed her mother's neck and kissed her forehead, telling her of her plans to go to the cottage with Edward. Renee smiled as Bella disappeared through the doorway. She was grateful for her mother, for the trust she knew that her mother placed in her. Most young women her age were chaperoned but Renee had never insisted on this social custom with her eldest daughter and her fiancé. Renee had known Edward for so long...he was like her son and she trusted him. She knew the values he shared with Bella and she also felt that she should

place the responsibility for their lives in their own hands. Up to now they had not disappointed her and she had no reason not to trust them. She watched her daughter as she left the room and smiled to herself.

_**Three**_

In the kitchen Bella downed the last of her coffee and was glad to be free of her family commitments to be able to keep her rendezvous. It was not really that late...only seven in the evening and the sun was just setting. The sun stayed later in the sky in summer and Bella was grateful for the extra hours to finish the tasks she needed to get done. Her mother told her she worked too hard but she had known no other way. She was the eldest. She had also worked before school and after school. She knew she must help her family. They were her loved ones and she enjoyed taking care of them.

Bella smiled as she took her new bed linen from her trousseau box and placed it in a satchel over her shoulder. She had been so proud of the sheets she had made with her own hands from fine linen she had saved up to buy from the store. They had stocked linen imported from England with

fine embroidery but they were so expensive; Bella had made her own, painstakingly embroidering bluebirds of happiness on her sheets and pillows where she would lay with Edward as his wife. She smiled as she hurried to the stable. The sun set with a flame of red brilliance and the moon rose in the sky. Bella listened to the hoot of an owl as she gazed at the first star to emerge in the night sky.

The man cursed as he watched Edward Cullen arrive swiftly at Bella's gate to meet her. He kept himself hidden in the shadows as he avidly stared at her. She sat astride her horse and he could see her long legs in leather boots with her long skirt tucked into her saddle. In the moonlight, he could still see the shape of her legs and the curve of her backside and he considered how to take her for his own. At a distance, he

followed them to their destination as a dense engulfing mist hovered over the land, chilling the night air. He was glad of the fog that kept him hidden as he was a coward, terrified of facing Edward's wrath but compulsion urged him on. He felt that he needed to see her. He could not keep away. He had dreamt of her the last few nights and in his dreams she was his...she had loved him and became his wife. These thoughts thrilled him as he quietly pulled his horse to a stop a distance from the cottage that glowed with a warm light. He snuck up to the window, stealth and silence as his companions as he looked to see her.

She laughed and pulled something from a bag. Edward had lit the fire in the hearth as he turned to stare at her and he smiled. She walked towards the other room and the stalker cursed now that she was lost to his vision. He silently crept to the other window and smiled as the room was bathed in light as she lit a candle. He could see the bed and he smiled, imaging what he was about to see. He wanted her for his own but he would welcome the sight of her nakedness even if it was not he that she gave herself to. But his disappointment was painful as she stretched out the linen on the bed, lovingly smoothing the sheets, tucking them into the mattress, covering the pillows with the pillowcases she had made. She stretched the blanket on top of the bed and smiled her face aglow with joy. Her beauty thrilled him and he wanted her so much, it was almost painful. He saw Edward join her beside the bed as he smiled at her and took her into his arms. He watched them but became frustrated when the lovemaking ended only with a kiss.

His legs were cramping and he was getting cold. He saw Edward release Bella from his arms and walk with her into

the main room before the fire where they sat at the table and talked. He wanted to scream with annoyance but he remained silent. His legs started to cramp and then he fled, bored and cold as the wind picked up, chilling him.

The burden of the hardworking day weighed heavily on Bella as exhaustion claimed her, making her eyelids close many times. She tried to keep awake and she wished that they had not sat on the couch for that had been her undoing. The warmth of the fire cocooned her in comfort and Edward's arms around her, brought peace to her heart and mind. She had managed to keep awake when she had been drinking tea at the table but now the lethargy she felt overwhelmed her. Again her eyes closed and her head lolled against Edward's shoulder.

Smiling, he laid her gently on the couch, rubbing her forehead tenderly. As he stared at her beauty, he longed to hold her in his arms but he dared not as his self control was only mastered by his respect for her. His finger traced the curve of her cheek, thrilling to the softness of her skin. As he kissed her hand he noticed the blisters and evidence of her hard work. Suddenly, he wished to make her life easier but he was not wealthy. He continued to think and plan but

eventually his eyes closed heavily. He opened his eyes again, trying to keep awake but sleep claimed him.

_The fire burnt radiantly in the massive fireplace as he sat beside it, gazing around the room furnished with luxury and opulence. He had never seen such wealth before and he wondered where he was. His eyes searched for her...then he saw her, through a fine mist she came...her raven hair falling around her. She smiled, the most welcoming smile, _

_opening her arms wide, taking his lips, his breath...holding his very life in the palm of her hands. _

_He held her in sacredness, the culmination of their love...through the long years of waiting. Her tears joined his, then, he knew the waiting had been a blessing as she wore his ring on her finger as surely as his heart was in her keeping. Tenderly, he kissed her, relishing in the sweetness of her lips but he heard her cry...'No, no!'_

His mind catapulted from his dream to see the anguish on her face because of the despair of her nightmare. She writhed on the couch, tears falling from her eyes as the dream tormented her.

'_Lies, lies...he is a liar!' a voice said, crackling...warning. _

'_You will not be able to trust him!' the voice said. 'He has lied to you...he does not love you!' the voice taunted as she started to scream again...'No, no!' _

Her words ended in a heart rendering wail as he held her, soothing her. She still cried, whimpering while he shook her. Tears covered her face as her heart pounded and her large

brown eyes were wide with fear as she woke and held him to her. She clung to him as her lifeline and she did not want to release him. She could not imagine the pain she had felt in

her dream as being any semblance of reality. Tears still fell from her eyes and she brushed them away, not believing the taunting dream. He pulled her to face him and his look was questioning as he asked her of her dream. At first she could not speak and she took her gaze away from the magnetic power of his golden eyes but he raised her chin. His lips came close to hers and she realised how foolish she had been. It was only a dream...a stupid dream. His kiss filled her with delight and she wanted more but she knew she had

to wait. She had promised herself that she wanted to be a virgin when she became his wife so she sat back from him on the couch and told him of her dream and that she did not believe it. She was tired...that was the problem. He took her hand, vowing his love and his fidelity.

'Come, my love,' he said. 'We should have left making up our bed till tomorrow, it is Sunday and we are not working that day. We could have finalised our wedding plans then. I am sorry I did not think of it. I did not realise how hard you had worked today and there is Justin's ball tomorrow night. I will take you home.'

She smiled at him. 'I wanted to come, Edward. I was impatient to see how the sheets I made look on our bed. They are beautiful.'

He smiled at her as she managed to move, even though every muscle ached. He doused the remains of the fire which had burnt out as they had slept. He snuffed the candles and locked the door. He helped her to mount his horse and he held her before him on the saddle, his strong arm around her waist, holding her to him as he knew she was too tired to ride her horse which was pulled behind his

own. Enclosed in his arms, she felt happy as the surety of his strength comforted her.

Suddenly, the night darkened around them as the moon became hidden behind some clouds. The wind became chill and a shiver travelled down Bella's spine as she huddled into Edward's chest, seeking his warmth and his protection.

_**Four**_

Merry confusion filled the household of females as each hurried to be ready in time for the ball. Bella rushed from room to room, helping her sisters then she panicked at the lateness of the hour as she pulled on her gown and brushed her long hair. Smoothing her petticoats under her gown, she

sighed. Sadness held her as she wished for a gown of luxurious beauty instead of the gown she had made from family clothing. She thought the material was pretty but she wished that she had something new to wear. She remembered the taunting words of Tanya the other day and she felt anxious. How could Edward love her so much when she was so poor? She knew that she could never afford beautiful things and envy filled her mind as she wished for luxuries and all the beautiful things she did not own. Her stomach twisted in knots of anxiety as she felt ugly and she disbelieved all the words that Edward told her of her beauty.

Bella walked to the full length mirror in her wardrobe and stared at herself. Her mind overlooked the thickness and lustre of her raven hair. She did not see the depth and beauty of her eyes or the sweet smile and white even teeth. She thought her nose too small and her eyebrows too thin. She knew she was slender in build but should her breasts be bigger? She grimaced as she ran her hands over her dress. She wished to rip it off but she knew she had none other. The other one she had, she had worn numerous times before and she could not wear it tonight. She thought of the pretty dresses her sisters were wearing and she felt annoyed. But then she chastised herself for her thoughts of envy because it was not their fault. The dresses had in fact been hers...hand me downs she had grown out of. Beautiful dresses her father

had bought her when the Bakery was a thriving business and he had had the money to spoil his first born. Now the Swan girls never bought new dresses. They either made them when they could afford to buy material or they passed them along when they grew out of them. Alice was wearing a green satin dress Bella had loved but it was too tight around her waist now.

Alice was just two years younger but Bella had started to fill out as a woman and her curves had made the dress uncomfortable.

Bella sighed as she knew her mother could not afford to buy her a new gown for the ball. Hadn't her wedding gown taken half of Renee's savings? She did not want to be greedy but she felt ill knowing that tonight she would be poorly dressed compared to the other girls.

She stared at her wedding gown, smiling wistfully as she touched the white satin material and she thought of all the long hours sewing on beads and flowers. Her veil hung beside the dress and she could not resist putting it on her head even though she was already late. She stared at herself in the mirror, disbelieving that by next week she would be a married woman. It seemed so surreal but these thoughts brought a smile to her lips and untangled the knots of anxiety in her stomach. She realised that she did look beautiful in her wedding veil and she also realised that she had let her depression and anxiety control her as it had done so many times in the past. She lifted her wedding dress from the hanger and held it against her and she was so grateful to have the love of such a wonderful young man.

A sound on the stairs to her room startled her as Bella turned to see Alice, dressed and ready to go, standing in the doorway.

'Quick, Bella...Edward is coming. Come on, you cannot let him in here to see your dress. He said he is coming in if you are not out in a minute.'

Bella smiled, returning the veil and dress to its place and then she brushed her hair up, securing it with her combs. She took her fan and gloves as she hurried from her room. She rushed down the stairs from her room as she noticed he was waiting in the hall.

He turned with a smile covering his face and she stared. Adoration shone from her face as she gazed at him, resplendently handsome in his best breeches, shirt and cravat. His jacket was elegant but old although he did not seem to care. He had secured his shoulder length hair at the nape of his neck as was the current fashion for young gentlemen. His stance was confident and the gentle nobility he displayed overshadowed his obvious lack of wealth. He was not afraid to admit he was saving his hard earned money for his wedding clothes, besides all the savings he anticipated he would need to set up house with Bella, to make her comfortable in their new life.

He took her hand and raised it to his lips, and then his cheeky smile showed his dimples as he pulled her into his arms. The nearness of her lips, the dancing lights in her eyes and the gentle perfume of lavender drifted to his senses. She stared up at him and at that moment the love in her eyes thrilled him. His lips took hers.

Alice watched them and giggled. Edward turned his head to stare at Bella's sister and he smiled. He reluctantly released Bella from his arms and escorted her and Alice out the door, eager to enjoy the evening.

The coolness of night was pleasant after a hot day and the stars had just started to shine as Bella was helped into the

borrowed sulky. Edward then helped Alice. He turned and stared at Renee and her other daughters. They all smiled at him and he was grateful for the beautiful family of females he had always thought of as his own. He had not known a family of brothers and sisters and in his heart he had adopted the Swan girls. He loved them dearly. They had been his extended family as he had become Bella's friend when he had been only five and he had rejoiced when each baby girl had been born. But the past year his role had changed from brother to father, even though he was only eighteen. Responsibility had suddenly been thrust upon his shoulders when both their fathers had died. The shared grief brought Edward and this family closer together than they had ever been and now six months after the fever had swept through Denali and the other towns along the coast, Edward felt that life was showing promise and signs of peace and prosperity.

He had talked to the Harbour Master only just yesterday and six merchant vessels were due into port in the next month, meaning enterprise for the Livery and the Tavern as there were always stomachs to be filled and horses to be shod and swords to be made. These thoughts made Edward happy and he smiled, telling a joke. They all laughed with him as they neared the illuminated Dupreau home which was magnificently decorated.

Lights shone around the fountains, sending cascading sparkles into the air, to then disappear into the dark water. Statues of swans and cupids amazed the little girls while Bella stared at the garden as the sulky pulled into the reception area. Even though she had been here numerous times, the opulent wealth startled her and suddenly she felt envious of this magnificent house, comparing her humble home. She stared at her plain gown as shame flushed her

cheeks. She imagined all the beautifully dressed women inside, especially Tanya, and her heart fell as a tear formed

in her eye suddenly escaping but noticed by Edward who stared at her as he helped her to alight from the sulky. She knew she should not dwell on these thoughts as she knew she should not feel sorry for herself but her feelings were hard to shake off. Edward stared at her and his look held a question but his smile was tender and understanding.

'You are the queen here tonight even though you are not wearing a gown worth a fortune or expensive jewellery. You need none of those trappings, Bella.' He could tell that she did not believe him and he leant forward and kissed her lips.

She stared into his eyes and she could see the confidence that was the very essence of Edward Cullen. He always seemed so sure of himself and even though she wanted to believe him, she still wanted beautiful clothes to wear. She told herself to cease the self-pity and she smiled, wanting to have a good time. The evidence of his love and his smile warmed her heart and gave her self-assurance. His words brought peace to her troubled thoughts and the anxious knot in her stomach disappeared as she held his arm proudly.

He smiled secretively as he leant into the sulky and pulled out a parcel.

'This is for you.'

Bella stared at him, not knowing what it could be. She untied the paper and a silken wrap fell into her hands and she sighed. The cloth was so beautiful and tears formed in her eyes as he laid the wrap across her shoulders. He had known she would not have an elaborate dress to wear and he had bartered with Mrs Jones to have her horses shod for the price of one of the beautiful wraps that she made. He felt so happy to see the joy in Bella's face as she hugged the wrap

around her and it draped over her dress, making it look just as fancy as the ones her sisters were wearing.

She smiled at her sisters and mother as they entered the hall to be greeted by the Dupree family. She gazed to her friend

Justin Dupree, as he stood beside his mother and she smiled at him as he kissed her cheek and shook Edward's hand in friendship. He had always been her special friend. His father had been a baker too and started out in business with Charlie Swan but then Anton Dupree had received a windfall...an inheritance from France. Apparently an old uncle, a Marquis

had escaped the French Revolution and brought all his fortunes to America and sought refuge with the Dupree family. Overnight, they had become the wealthiest people in Denali, besides Tanya's family, of course. Anton had given

half share of the business to Charlie. Anton wanted to retire. With his sudden wealth he had bought a magnificent home on the hill overlooking the sea and from that time forward the Dupree's lived the wealthy life.

_**Five**_

Justin had never forgotten his friends, Edward and Bella and how it felt to be poor. He wanted to give Bella and Edward money to help them in their life, but he knew that Edward was determined to prove that he could look after Bella, so he had not felt comfortable in his offer. He planned secretly to give them an anonymous purse at their wedding. He smiled at them when he thought of his plan as he greeted them.

'I am so glad you both could come with your lovely family, Bella. Welcome Aunt Renee', Justin said, addressing her informally as he had almost grown up in the bakery and thought of her as his Aunt. He kissed her cheek. Renee smiled sweetly and the girls giggled as Justin paid attention to them.

'I hope your evening is enjoyable,' Justin said, addressing them all.

They moved along as other guests were waiting to be greeted by the hosts and they walked down the hall into the main ballroom, which was a hive of activity, light and colour.

An orchestra played enthusiastically as Bella wanted to dance. She loved to waltz although she did not think that she was a good dancer. Her mother and father had shown her how to dance and she smiled as she remembered all the hours in the dining room with her father who had insisted that all young ladies should know how to dance. She felt that she was uncoordinated with two left feet but when she was in Edward's arms she felt comfortable. She smiled adoringly at him as he twirled her across the floor. His love warmed her and she felt at home in his arms. They were watched by many especially one woman whose jealousy tormented her.

The expensive blue French lace gown clung to her perspiring body as she fanned herself, hoping to bring down her temperature. Her smouldering eyes devoured Edward as she became oblivious to all the other people around her. Suddenly, she turned, colliding with Mike Newton.

'Oh, good evening, beautiful one,' he said, helping her to regain her balance. 'So, it is you, Tanya. Sometimes, I am sure you are Bella. It is strange...you two could be twins...are you sure you are not related?'

'We share the same birthday, and the same time of birth but we are not related,' she replied scornfully. 'No, certainly, I am not related to her!' Tanya added bitterly but then her attention wandered to Edward.

Mike stared from Tanya to where Edward danced with Bella.

'Are you still breaking your heart over him, Tanya? Surely, you would have accepted defeat by now. How long have you been playing your games, ten years, is it?'

'I never accept defeat!'

'I know Edward has the looks to attract females but there is something else. Your quest has been too long and love is not your sole motive, is it?'

Her smile was slyly triumphant as she began to share her secret.

'His family were heirs to incomprehensible wealth. His father was King! Do you remember Carlisle Cullen who died last year? Him! They abandoned all the power, all the glory...what fools!'

'You believe you can force Edward to seek a Kingship for you. You are crazy!'

'Of course!' she replied with arrogant confidence. 'Yes, I will see him be King. I will be his Queen!'

Mike barely controlled his mirth as he asked, 'You believe this...you will be a Queen and he is a King?'

'Oh, yes. I want him, his title. You will see Mike, I will be his wife, spoilt, pampered. My wish will be a command!' Tanya replied smugly, clasping her hands together in joy.

At these words Mike laughed loudly as he could not imagine Tanya anymore spoilt than she already had been during her indulged life.

Happiness filled Bella's heart as she danced in Edward's arms. He smiled at her and she felt at peace and so in love. As the danced ended their host approached them and requested the next dance from Bella. Edward smiled and released Bella to his friend. He walked into the night air and enjoyed the rush of the wind on his face, the fragrance of jasmine in the garden and the salty tang on the sea brought on the wind. He heard the boom and crash of the waves above the music of the string quartet and he smiled.

From the balcony he gazed at the stars and imagined the land of his birth. What was it like? Carlisle had said it was an island. What was the sea like? Was the harbour deep? Was the shoreline beautiful? Were there mountains? Edward tried to imagine his homeland but no images formed in his mind. It was a void. It all seemed so strange. Did he still have family? Carlisle had told him he had a grandmother and a brother. Were they alive? They did not seem real to him and he could not imagine that across the other side of the world, they existed and he was their kin.

The arrogance of Tanya bored Mike and he wandered away from her, watching Bella intently. His lust for her grew like a restless monster in the pit of his stomach, as he imagined the softness of her skin, the sweetness of her lips and he vowed to make her his. Avidly, he stared at her as she

danced with the host, Justin Dupree. Then, at that instant, Mike seized his opportunity, bolding walking onto the dance floor. Risking the wrath of Edward, Mike cut in on Justin, possessively holding Bella in his arms, twirling her around the dance floor.

Her stomach twisted in knots of nervousness as she wished she had refused the ridiculous custom allowed at these functions. She did not want to dance with Mike. Panic sent shudders of fear through her being as he danced her out onto the balcony. Her eyes filled with tears as she realised she was on her own with him and she stared into the ballroom desperately seeking Edward.

He still stared into the night sky, enjoying the breeze. Suddenly, female arms circled his waist. He turned and smiled, expecting to see Bella. As he stepped back to avoid Tanya, his words held a tone of annoyance and contempt.

'Leave me alone, Tanya.' He turned his back to her and he ignored her, starting to walk away but her words stalled his steps.

'So King Wulfgar Von Hapsbrugen is too proud for me! Marry me, Edward...I will make a better Queen than she ever can...she is a peasant...she has no breeding. It is pitiful

how poor she is. Look at the shameful dress she is wearing tonight. Why did you not buy her something decent to wear? How could you want her for your Queen? Edward, please consider what I am saying. I beg you. Marry me, I love you. I will be the Queen you need when you take your kingdom!'

His mirth was loud, fuelling her annoyance.

'What kingdom? I have no kingdom!' But the words of Carlisle rushed to the surface of his mind as he remembered the Legacy. Suddenly, he dismissed the memory, telling himself Carlisle had fabricated the tale of Edward's real

parents, the King and Queen of Hapsbrugen and the Sword of Wulfgar. He frowned and turned his back to her, his mind in the past as he remembered Franz and the story he had been told. His method of ignoring her brought a cursing to her lips and then he laughed as he walked away from her to seek Bella.

Tanya's chagrin was noticeable as she stormed to the table where Mike sat despondently nursing his bruised cheek. He told Tanya of his unrequited love, his breaking heart. Even though she seemed sympathetic, she only thought of her own desires. Mike started to become nervous, expecting to be confronted by Edward so he hurried from the ball, afraid of having to deal with the situation he had created

Many men asked her to dance and she obliged them, enjoying their flattery but her eyes seldom left Edward Cullen. Several men proposed marriage but she laughed in their faces and then tried to make a joke of it, stringing them along. She did still need her entertainment and attention. She did go out to the balcony with the handsome musician who was always paying so much attention to her. He had been fawning over her since he had been employed to play at her parent's parties. She enjoyed the attention but she had no feelings for him. She led him on, allowing him to kiss her. Once he had been so bold to touch her breast but she had tapped his hand sharply as her deep brown eyes turned black with annoyance. This night he sat on the balcony with her and tried to kiss her again. As his lips took hers, she imagined they were Edward's lips and she enjoyed the kiss, responding with passion. She was about to be bolder when she heard a woman's cough and a muffled whisper.

'Is that you out there, Tanya? Your father is looking for you'.

Tanya did not answer as she allowed the musician to take his liberties. She enjoyed the adulation but she would not let him touch her in the darkened corner of the patio. She wanted to keep her virginity for another.

'Tanya', the whispered voice said again but again Tanya did not respond. She smiled smugly to herself when she heard her mother sigh and walk away.

_**Six**_

The thunder clapped, the lightning roared as the night drew on and the family hurried to the sulky to return to the safety of their home. Alone on the porch, Bella sat beside Edward on the swing. Staring into the dark night, Edward thought of the words Tanya had spoken to him. He wondered how she knew of his homeland and the story that Carlisle had told him. He could not shift the depressing thoughts that filled his mind. He thought of his lack of wealth and the heritage he had been told about. He looked at Bella's dress and felt sorry for her, knowing she deserved more than she had. He knew she was poor. He had not much more than her but his business was thriving and he was confident he could make a secure living to support her when they married.

She gazed into his sad face as he watched the storm clouds gather while the lightning set the town of Denali alive with brilliance. Holding his hand, she pondered his melancholy. The question in her eyes brought a smile of reassurance to his lips and words of comfort.

'Next week you will be my wife. I have wanted this for so long. I am sorry to appear sad. Something else is bothering me. Tonight I was confronted by Tanya. Somehow she knows the story of my parents and believes it...remember the story Carlisle told me when I was ten?'

'Oh, yes, I remember…the sword…you showed it to me, it was strange but beautiful. Actually, I have been thinking of it lately…wondering if it is real or it was Carlisle's imagination. Your father told wonderful stories. Was it one of his stories? Are you a King, Edward? Was not Carlisle your father? Was your father really a King? It seems so surreal!'

Bella's words echoed Edward's thoughts as he stared at her.

'I held the sword in my hand and it was the most beautiful and strange sword that I have ever seen. But now I find the story hard to understand. He said he was my servant...not my father. Is that not ridiculous? I always thought him to be so logical and sane. Why would he make up such a story? And then if it is true I am this King, as Carlisle told me, then I would obviously be wealthy and you would be poor no longer. I know how hard life is for you and I love you so much Bella. It is my wish to do what I can for you. It is not only my wish, it is my responsibility. Perhaps, I should seek this Kingdom to find out once and for all!'

Bella stared at him as jealousy turned her brown eyes to jet. Of all the words that Edward had just spoken, she had only really focused on the fact that Tanya had confronted him and been alone with him. Annoyance filled her mind and knots of anxiety twisted in her stomach. She started to chew her bottom lip as was her usual nervous behaviour when she was chagrined and Edward knew it as he gazed at her face.

'What did she say?' Bella queried as she tried to suppress the whine in her voice.

Edward took her hand and raised it to his lips and then encompassed it in the warmth of his own. Her small hand felt cold as it lay in his and he despaired that she was hurt by Tanya yet again. Edward shrugged as he answered her.

'Just her usual demands which are of no importance to me but she mentioned your lack of suitable clothing. She is right…you are so beautiful, Bella. You deserve to be dressed in the finest clothes, the softest silks and satins.'

The warmth of his words and the love contained therein thrilled her and she dispelled her angst of before, feeling like

the luckiest woman alive to have the love of this wonderful young man. Even though he was only eighteen years of age

and regarded still as a boy by some, Bella knew the maturity and commonsense that filled Edward's mind and the gentleness and love in his soul. She felt she knew him like none other as he had been her best friend for such a long time…as long as she could remember. Many memories flushed to her mind of her standing before him, a small child holding his hand and gazing up into his face with its dimpled smile, missing teeth and ruffled bronze hair. She felt so safe with him and suddenly confident that her heart was secure in his keeping. She stared at him as he gazed at the thunderheads and she could sense the worry in his mind. Lovingly, she turned his face to gaze at her and she kissed his lips. Then she moulded her body against his as she felt his warmth and the strength of his arms around her. She thought about what he had just said and after a while she broke her silence.

'If you wish to be a King, Edward I will be your Queen and I will follow you anywhere but if you seek this destiny for me, I do not wish to be a Queen…I find that hard to imagine…to be a sovereign...how ridiculous? I do not know if I could do that. I wish to be the wife of Edward Cullen, the blacksmith…that is my desire and perhaps a new dress occasionally.'

Her words brought a smile to his face but then the smile on her face disappeared as she started to speak.

'I also have something to tell you. Mike Newton worries me. He is bothering me and he cut in on Justin's dance with me. He danced me onto the veranda and before I could pull away from him, he kissed me. I slapped him and pushed him away. I looked for you and could not find you and…'

Her words ended in a sudden rush of tears and he held her. He was annoyed that he had not been there to protect her from Mike. For quite a while he had suspected that Mike had feelings for Bella. Edward had watched Mike for many

years as he noticed that the friendship which they had all had in childhood had taken another path. Edward decided he would be more diligent in his observations and protection of his woman from now on. His jaw was firm and his eyes burned with jealousy as he realized that Mike had been propositioning Bella while Tanya had been doing the same thing to him.

He disentangled Bella's arm from his and rose to his feet to seek Mike out to get the matter straight but Bella stilled his rage with the kiss of her lips and the warmth of her arms around him as the thunderheads broke and the torrential rain started to fall.

Later that evening Edward had fare welled the family and held Bella to him with an assurance that he would not seek out Mike. But suddenly Edward was not so sure that he had told Bella the truth. Thoughts of vengeance burnt into Edward's soul as he wished to speak his mind to the man who had dared to kiss his fiancée. Edward tried to dispel his feelings but he was not succeeding. Passionate emotions had raged in Edward's soul lately as he longed for the moment he would become Bella's husband. His feelings for her had tormented him a long time and he had been able to control himself but it was becoming harder. He did not know how he could wait to the time he would take her to his cottage. Once the vows were spoken he wanted to take her straight to his bed but he knew he could not as there was the formality that Bella's mother had insisted on. The family custom was a huge wedding feast with many guests invited…a meal, cake, wine and dancing. Edward knew he must concede to

Renee's request but it was hard. Now Edward felt that all his suppressed desires were directed into anger as he wanted to hurt the man who had dared to touch the sweet lips that only Edward had kissed and intended to be the only one to ever kiss.

As Edward's chagrin increased so did his pace as he walked the cobblestone main street of Denali. The clouds had now cleared…the rain had become a drizzle and he looked up into the sky, feeling the raindrops on his face and seeing the emerging stars in the sky. It was late and the town was quiet. Edward did not feel tired. In fact he felt wide awake. He had intended to go home to bed but he wondered how he could sleep with the seething emotions raging through his mind at that moment. He decided that he needed to ride. He entered his stable and walked to his black stallion that he had recently broken in. The animal had been a wild mustang and he was a beauty. He was strong and proud and Edward had not wanted to break his spirit. He had seen how other men had broken in horses but Edward had devised his own methods. He remembered how when he had been a boy he had desperately wanted his own horse and now he had him. A gold prospector had come to Denali, cruelly pulling behind him a shackled and tethered animal. He had wanted his other horse shod and bargained to give Edward the shackled animal in payment as he said the horse was useless to him. He had tried to break it but he could not. The animal remained stubbornly resistant to all attempts to be broken.

Edward had approached the animal that had shied away from him. Edward could see the fear in the animal's eyes as well as the defiance. The horse flattened his ears and snorted. Edward's eyes travelled over the stallion's strong body and noticed the evidence of abuse by the whip marks

and also burn marks. This incensed Edward who hated

cruelty to animals and he gladly accepted the man's offer.

Carlisle had told him he had a way with horses and Edward knew it to be true. He walked beside Aries as he had named him after the god of war, whispering his endearing words and rubbing the stallion's ears. As proud as this animal was, he always responded to Edward's touch and the sound of his voice. Edward spoke more soothing words that seemed to calm the animal as he pulled on the bridle then rubbed the stallion all over with the brush. At first Edward could feel the animal shiver but then the stallion started to relax to Edward's touch. This was the usual ritual Edward had established to place the saddle on. After tender care for two months, Edward was able to mount the animal and ride him around the yard. Even though Edward had ridden Aries many times, he still continued this ritual. Aries snorted and rubbed his nose against Edward's arm and he gave him a carrot soaked in molasses that was the stallion's special treat. Edward smiled as he mounted his animal and rode out into the night.

Mike had been drinking for most of the night. He was annoyed with himself for rushing from the ball and he was annoyed that he had not been able to dance with Bella for longer. Why did he have to kiss her? Had he not known what her reaction would be? He knew all the answers to these and other questions but it still did not solve his problem. He could see no relief from his pain of unrequited love. What could he do so that she loved him and not Edward Cullen? All their childhood, Mike had been Bella's friend and he begrudged the times she preferred to go and play with Edward instead of him. When she had become Edward's friend, Mike knew that he had lost her and he had never gotten over it. Perhaps he had always loved her? He

was four years older than her and at twenty-one was a strong young man with a stocky build and a full head of tan hair. He was said to be handsome but he did not think so. He remembered the day he first saw her. His family lived next to the Swans and he had been helping his father who was working for Charlie Swan by building him a new oven and chimney for the bake house. Urig Newton was a first rate stonemason and was teaching his trade to his son. Even though Mike was only four, he still helped his father, carrying his tools and mixing his cement.

The memories were strong and vivid as Mike pictured the Swan's kitchen. Charlie's wife, Renee had walked into the kitchen carrying a baby bundled in a rug. She had held the baby up for Mike to see and he was certain that at that moment he fell in love with Bella. Then she was only one week old but the beauty of her face captivated him and he had always wanted to be around her. He carried her books to school and became her special friend until Edward and Carlisle Cullen had come to town. Then Bella had been five years old and was already a beauty. Mike was nine and thought of himself as her boyfriend even though she had laughed and pushed him away when he said that he wanted to marry her.

As Mike walked out the saloon door he realized he was a fool to think these thoughts and remember the past and dwell on what he could not have. Mike knew Bella loved Edward Cullen and there was nothing that he could do about it. He stumbled down the street to his house. He turned the corner and fell beneath the hooves of a huge black horse that reared above him and he thought he was going to die.

_**Seven**_

Edward had always been a solitary child, having no brothers and sisters. He had spent as much time as he could at the Swans and with other friends and their families but his home

with his father was a lonely existence. There was no sound of children playing or fighting and no mother to give him the warmth of her arm and the love of her heart. But because of this the father and son drew close to each other and loved each other. He had always thought that he was an only child until the age of ten when Carlisle had confessed that he was not Edward's father and in fact, his servant. Edward had struggled to believe the words he had been told and even now, he hardly believed that he was a prince and the more unbelievable reality was that he had been told that he was not an only child…that he had an older brother.

The moon shone brightly on Edward as he rode Aries along the beach. Anger filled his heart and jealousy coursed through his mind as he imagined Mike's rough lips touching the sweet lips of Bella. He heard the screech of the night birds and the boom of the waves. The salty air filled his nostrils and his hair whipped into his eyes. His mind flew to the past as he remembered that Mike had always dogged Bella's steps, following her around…always lurking in the background. He was as much of a pest as was Tanya and Edward cursed them both. He wished to take Bella away somewhere…away from both Tanya and Mike but at this thought he realized he was being ridiculous. Bella was a stunning young woman and there would always be someone who wanted her. Had he not always noticed the sailors in the Port ogling her each time she walked along the docks on his arm? He always possessively held her but he knew he could not be with her every moment. Was not tonight at the ball a

prime example? He had been in the same building but still Mike had taken advantage of her, kissing her. Edward cursed again and pushed Aries harder as the black stallion flew along the hard packed sand until Edward pulled Aries into a wide circle to avoid the rocks at the end of the beach. The stallion's hooves flew into the surf, splashing the cold water all over himself and his master. Edward tasted the salt in his mouth and felt the cold water splash on his face and clothes. The coldness brought Edward from the angry tirade in his mind and he leant over Aries' neck and patted his animal.

At a slower pace, Edward trotted Aries back down the beach and then onto the road back to the main street of town. He realized he was a fool. Did not Bella love him? Hadn't she proved her love for him and her devotion? What did he have to worry about?

A smile covered his lips instead of the scowl the past hour. He pulled his horse to a walk as he turned the corner into Smugglers Lane. He noticed a dark figure on the road as his horse snorted and rose into the air, startled by the figure before him. Edward saw the figure fall to the ground under his horse's hooves. Terrified that he had hurt someone, Edward jumped to his feet and pulled the person from the thrashing of the hooves. Turning the body over, Edward noticed the face of Mike Newton. He was unconscious with a gash to his head and Edward lifted him onto Aries' back.

Edward walked his horse to the Newton's home, noticing as he passed Bella's house that her light was off and he hoped she slept peacefully.

Mike regained consciousness under the care of his mother. Edward stood in the doorway, concerned that his horse had injured this man who had once been his friend. Mrs. Newton

had spoken kindly to him and she was annoyed to see that her son was drunk. She did not blame Edward and had told Mike that he 'was a stupid boy'. He woke to hear her tirade and see Edward standing in the doorway. He shrieked and pulled the blanket over himself as Edward turned to leave the house. He knew that Mike was guilty but suddenly Edward was too tired to confront him. His glance in Mike' direction had obviously been enough to scare him.

The flower sellers had been up since dawn. They had travelled out to the farms beyond the town limits where the fragrant blooms of spring filled the nostrils. Roses, carnations, lilies and so many blooms were picked and placed into carts. Outside the little store down by the quay, the blooms filled the tubs and were admired by the passersby and the shoppers. The young shopkeeper just placed a large bunch of red roses amongst the carnations and she turned to gaze into the face of a young man who admired the roses. She smiled at him. He was so good looking she sighed. She knew who he was and she knew who he was buying the roses for. He held up a bunch of roses and shook the water from their stems. She watched him take the money from his pocket, place it in her hands and she watched him walk away. She had not said a word. Her tongue had felt tied. She could only gaze at him and wish that she was Bella Swan.

He arrived at her door and Renee told him where her daughter was. She was washing out in the back room of the house where the washing tub had always been. Edward walked to the door and he had been so silent, she had not heard him. He stood and leant against the door jam and watched her. Her sleeves were rolled up her arms, covered

in bubbles as she vigorously rubbed the clothing up and down the washboard. He saw the determination on her face as she scrubbed at a stubborn stain. Her hair had come loose from its bounds, falling across her forehead and shoulders. She was so breathtakingly beautiful. Edward sighed and startled Bella who jumped with fright. She raised the wet cloth. It flew through the air and Edward dodged it, trying to miss the flying water and soap suds. She gazed at the startled look on his face and the bubbles covering his cheeks and she started to chastise him until he pulled the huge bouquet of roses from behind his back. His smile was broad and his dimples endearing as she walked to him and brushed the suds from his cheeks and dabbed the water from his shirt. She took the flowers into her arms as she placed her lips on his. She read the message he had written on the card.

'For my bride…' the words began and this gesture warmed her heart as she realized how much he really did love her and she hardly believed that she would be his wife.

As she labored in the kitchen, she remembered that morning and she gazed to the roses in the vase on the kitchen table. Sweat poured down her brow and she felt her energy had been sapped as the day had been scorching with no relief from the searing heat. She had prepared all the extra cakes for the wedding party as well as the Tavern for the brief time she would be absent from her duties. But she was not the only one who had been working hard…even Alice had been busy, making the table decorations for the wedding feast, ironing the girls' dresses, setting out the preserves and the homemade ginger beer and lemonade. The little girls had been picking flowers, tidying up the house and tried their best to be helpful and quiet. The whole family had been waiting for this day. They looked forward to celebrating the

wedding of Edward and Bella with their friends and loved ones. Bella thought of all that they had done and she sighed.

She stared through the window, noticing the setting of the sun, suddenly feeling the welcome stirring of a breeze. Her nimble fingers created a delicate pastry leaf to compliment a pastry rose on the apple pie. She smiled to herself, remembering the craftsmanship of her father and the wonderful legacy he had passed on to her. She had so many happy memories of cooking with him and in fact, her earliest memory was sitting at the large table with a bowl of pastry as he told her how to knead the dough and make some sweetbreads. She had loved him so much and she missed him. She wished that he was here to give her to Edward tomorrow. She wished to walk down the aisle of the church on her father's arm but he lay in the cemetery, cold in his grave. She tried to believe what the preacher had told her about the resurrection of the dead but she was always a skeptical person, rather believing in what she could see.

These thoughts suddenly made her sad but she suddenly refused to dwell on the negative impressions of her mind. She tried to be happy, imagining being in Edward's arms as his wife and this thought brought a flush to her cheeks.

As she carried the pie to the oven, she gazed out of the window, noticing a frilly pink parasol. She paused as she watched Tanya heading for Edward's place of business.

'Why does she do this? Whenever I am feeling happy she does something to destroy it? What is she doing? She is going to see him…I know she is.' Bella spoke to herself in a fit of fury and her temper could not be controlled. Clenching her hands together, chagrin churned Bella's stomach into

knots as she opened the oven door, her mind far from her task. The heat rushed forward to flush her face but she only thought of Tanya and her conniving ways. Bella leant down to place the pie on the oven rack and she brushed her arm against the oven wall, crying aloud as tears sprang into her eyes. She jerked her arm away as she cried, tears falling down her cheek. She knew she was being a baby but she was already upset by seeing Tanya and this was the last straw. She was so tired…she just wanted to go to bed and forget it all. She wanted to wake up tomorrow and be Edward's wife and forget Tanya forever. She wanted to have his children…to make him hers.

_**Eight**_

She leant on the basin of cold water in the sink and placed her wrist in it. The cold water seemed to sooth it and she brushed the tears from her cheeks. She tried to compose herself and tell herself that she was a fool. Did Edward not love her? Had he not proved his love and devotion? She shrugged her shoulders and laughed. She removed her arm from the water and noticed the ugly red welt on her skin. She applied some ointment and bandage to the burn and tried to take her mind from the pain. She sighed listlessly cleaning her baking mess then left the kitchen to seek the privacy of her room. Her thighs ached and her ankles throbbed as she climbed the . She realized that she had been on her feet all day and she wished for a rest. She felt confident that all was done…all the arrangements had been made and there was even no dinner to cook. Bella had placed a stew on the stove earlier in the day and she knew that the delicious meal was just simmering at the back of the stove.

She smiled as she pulled off her shoes and crawled onto her bed, staring at her wedding gown hanging on her dresser. Stretching out on her bed, she wished for peace from the torments of Tanya. She thought of rushing to see Edward, to expel Tanya from his presence but she suddenly felt too exhausted to move. Her eyelids grew heavy as she fell asleep, a dream filling her mind, taking her to a distant land.

_She could see him in a golden carriage, dressed befitting his station as King of his realm. Pushing her way through the _

_crowd she tried to catch a glimpse of him but she was thrown to the ground, trampled underfoot as the crowd surged forward. She had been kicked in the stomach and her arm hurt but she pulled herself up, desperate to see him to ease the yearning of her young, naïve heart. Desperately, she sought a vantage point, a place to see him. Hope surged as she found it. Frantically, she climbed the stairs to the rooftop, leaning over the awning. Suddenly, she was surrounded by the crowd, pulling at her, pushing her away. _

_She cried...she screamed, managing to hold her ground, determined to see her sovereign... the man she loved so hopefully but hopelessly as she knew he could never love her. She was a peasant and he was nobility. How could it ever be? She heard the roar of the crowd and saw the waving of many banners and she knew that the royal entourage approached. Then, his carriage turned the corner in full view of the rooftop. The carriage was gold and was drawn by four cream coloured horses with silver manes. She had never seen horses as beautiful as the ones who pranced down the cobblestone street with their heads held high and their tails swishing in the gentle breeze. She stared with her mouth open and then her eyes sought the carriage and its occupants. _

_At that moment the King leant out of the window to wave to the crowd. She stared in wonder at the regal handsomeness of her King. His clothes were rich, his jewellery...priceless...then she noticed his Queen, so beautiful, so richly endowed with the finest clothes and jewellery. The woman was dark haired and the colour of her eyes, a warm brown that seemed so vibrant. Her nose was straight. Her cheekbones were high and her lips were full and small. Her neck was long and her throat was covered by amazing green jewels. Bella stared, disbelieving her vision... _

_as if she had looked into a mirror...the woman was her but she was on the roof, she was the impoverished peasant not the beautiful, beloved Queen. Bella had no jewels, no luxurious gowns or gold carriages or elegant horses. _

_Suddenly, she realised that none of those trappings mattered. She just wished for the King to love her but the reality struck her heart as she saw the King lean over to his Queen and kiss her lips passionately. The crowd roared with delight but Bella's young, breaking heart grieved for the love that could never be as the King suddenly turned to stare at her but she hurried away, ashamed of her old, torn clothing. _

_Blinded by tears of a desperate need she ran to her home, the ramshackle building...the only home she had ever known. The room was dark and damp. The smell of rotting hay on the floor overwhelmed her. She forgot that she had been told to change it. She had gone to see her King instead and now she was afraid to face the wrath of her owner. She gazed fearfully around the room, hoping that he had gone to the saloon but she was wrong. He was there. He yelled at her, pulling her inside as he started to beat her. She cried and pleaded but he continued to beat her. She defended herself with her feeble blows to his chest as she screamed.... _

_A voice called her, a tiny voice; so far away...she listened for the voice as she pulled away from the man, struggling towards the voice. Her feet felt like she was paralysed as she could hardly move...one slow step at a time as the man clutched for her..._

'_Bella' the voice called but Bella screamed._

'_Help me, please someone...help me!'_

'Bella...Bella, wake up!' her small sister spoke in a rush, shaking her. 'Come on, Bella, you are frightening me. You are having a nightmare, wake up!'

Pulled from the terrible dream, Bella hugged her little sister as she cried. Tears of relief fell relentlessly but then, she smiled, happy for the reality of her life instead of the dragging despair of her dream state.

'Come on, Bella!' little Susanna said. 'Are you better now? I have something important to tell you, Edward sent a message for you. He wants to meet you at the cottage after dark. The sun is going down, come on. You better go!'

The tension from the hard work in the searing heat, coupled with her dream assailed Bella's sleepy mind with a headache and confusion. Numbing, gripping fear grew in the pit of her stomach, chilling her. She had never been to the cottage by herself. Edward had always insisted travelling with her, especially when there were ships in port. Many times he had told her she was too beautiful to be left alone with all the seamen wandering around the town and her lips trembled in uncertainty as she decided not to go, suddenly afraid.

'No, I will go to the stables to see him. The message cannot be right. Edward would not want me to go the cottage on my own. You are mistaken, Susanna.'

The little girl pouted. Her eyes were angry and her stance as defiant as her eldest sister as both sisters faced each other, one a grown woman, the other a child but both equally sure of their own thoughts and motives.

'You are wrong, Bella. There was a man with a message. He said Edward could not come to you but he needs you urgently. He said you will understand that you must come. You'd better hurry, Bella. Edward must need you. Perhaps he is injured!'

Bella's luminous eyes grew wide in fear as she stared strangely at her little sister whose words chilled her heart as she imagined Edward injured, needing help.

'Who was the man? Do you know him? Who told you?'

Bella's voice rose in pitch and she gripped her little sister's arm, hurting her and not meaning to grip her so tightly.

'You are hurting me. Let go. I told you. A man came...he told Jenny. He came to the door and told her!'

Bella could see the frustrated look on her sister's face and suddenly, she knew that Susanna spoke the truth. Fully awake, Bella hurriedly pulled on a clean dress as she brushed her hair, trying not to worry.

'Mother is preparing dinner, Bella. Are you coming back?' the little girl asked, pulling her sister's skirt.

Bella stared absently at Susanna as she secured the beautiful choker Edward had recently given her, her mind traversing paths of worry she desperately tried to suppress. Her agitation flowed as she felt annoyed.

'Stop bothering me, Susanna. Yes, I'll be coming home.'

She hurried from her room, her long skirts swishing on the time worn steps as she rushed out the back door, not bidding farewell to her mother.

The sun had already set as chillness gripped the night. She entered the barn to hear the cheerfulness of her old horse's whinny and the caress of his nose brought a smile to her lips as she saddled him. She ran her hand across his muzzle. A floorboard creaked and Bella jumped, startled. Her heart pounded in her chest. She turned around to see Alice. She had straw in her hair and Bella guessed that she had been lying in the hay.

'Where are you off to in such a hurry?' Alice wanted to know as she sat on a barrel and placed a piece of straw

between her teeth. Bella ignored her as she adjusted the stirrups.

'You are shameful, Bella...you're off to see Edward! And on your wedding eve...I thought you wanted to take your virginity to your marriage bed?' Alice teased not knowing the worry possessing her elder sister's mind.

Bella's gaze of contempt chilled Alice as she stilled the other gibes on the tip of her tongue.

'You should be working. This is my business. You do not know why I am going to see Edward. You should be helping Mother with dinner. You are so lazy!' Bella snapped as she mounted her horse, not looking back as she cantered down the path, onto the road.

Alice shrugged her shoulders, displaying her usual casualness and stared at her agitated sister as she disappeared down the lane. Alice sighed and wandered towards the house. She wondered why Bella was always so high strung and then she remembered that their grandmother had been like that. In fact, their mother said that Bella was the image of her grandmother and that was why she had been named for her. Alice often gazed at Isabella Swan's portrait that hung in the hall and she disbelieved that Bella could look so like their dead grandmother. Alice's mother had often confided that when Bella flew off the handle with her sharp temper or became so anxious she would literally shake and then run to her room crying, that she had inherited her nerves from her grandmother. Now Alice suddenly felt sorry for Bella and she told herself that she would try harder to be a better sister and family member. Alice realised that Bella had more responsibility as she was the eldest.

_**Nine**_

Bella kicked her horse hard as she rode down the street, her heart in her throat and nervous agitation in her stomach. She still felt angry from her confrontation with Alice and she tried to still her disquiet with the methods her father had taught her. He told her to take deep breaths and expel her breath slowly as she did thinking good thoughts. This was harder to do than she had ever experienced at the present time especially as she was alone and it was night. The street

was quiet that night except for some drunken sailors leaving the saloon. Her eyes scanned them and she could see them gazing in her direction. She skirted the harbour foreshore, avoiding the other saloons on the water's edge. Noises from the ships at anchor travelled to her ears and she could see the lights on the decks and the sailors sitting in the night air, smoking and drinking. She heard their voices and their laughter and suddenly she wanted Edward beside her. She was alone and afraid. She cantered her horse onto the cobblestone road and entered the path that led onto the north road that was dirt fringed by forest.

The trees loomed darkly around her and fear of murderers, ready to ambush her, filled her mind with dread setting her nerves on edge again and all her efforts before to be calm, suddenly were for nought. She kicked her old horse into a gallop and he sped down the road towards Edward's cottage but the short distance of three miles seemed like one hundred as the night darkened and the moon hid its face behind some clouds. Bella leant across the horse's neck as he went faster and faster to the commands of her voice but suddenly his gait changed and he slowed to a walk as Bella clung desperately to his mane. She fell to the side and her

feet slipped in the stirrups. She cried in fear as the jolt from the suddenly halting thundered threw her body, sending a painful sensation down her back and into her thighs. She felt her old horse start to hobble and she knew that she was in trouble. She slid to the ground and tried to regain her breath. Pain caroused in her joints and she was worried at the painful sounds her horse was making. She thought he may have broken a leg but she hoped that he had only thrown a shoe. It was so dark, she could hardly see. Bella stared up at the sky where the moon remained behind the clouds. She cursed her luck and wished she had stayed at home but the worry for Edward spurned her onward as she leant down to

run her hands along her horse's legs. They seemed sound until she touched his fetlock and he whinnied in pain. Bella was worried. She knew it was not good but she was sure that Edward would know what to do. He was proficient with horse husbandry and Bella smiled knowing that her old horse would mend with Edward's care. She wanted to see him so badly; she led her old horse to a tree and tied him securely until she could come back with Edward later. Bella rubbed her horse's muzzle and told him she would be back soon. He had been her horse for so long. Her father had bought him for her when she was only nine and he had been her companion to school and back. She had shared her horse with Edward as they rode to school and Edward had loved him also.

Bella stared into the distance and she could barely make out the road before her. She knew she had no choice other than to walk. She started off down the road and she tried to hurry but she stumbled on some rocks and fell into some potholes so she knew she would have to go slowly. She had scrapped her knees and knew her dress would be soiled from the muddy holes she had fallen into. She wanted to cry but she

refused to as she pushed her fear away. She could not go back...she was closer to the cottage than she was to home.

Suddenly lights appeared into the distance and she thought it was the cottage that would soon be her home. She hoped that Edward was not ill as Susanna had suggested but Bella could still not understand why he had not come to her. Suddenly, Bella stopped walking and stared at the lights...they were coming closer to her not her coming closer to them. She heard the sound of wagon wheels on the rocky road and the shout of men's voices. She pulled to the side of the road, suddenly afraid. She wanted to ask for help but she did not know if she could trust them. She tried to hide beside some trees but she was too afraid to go into the dark wood

and she hoped that they would not see her. The wagon rushed past her but suddenly pulled to a halt and a lantern light struck Bella full in the face.

'What do we 'ave here?' a raspy voice called.

The man jumped to his feet and before Bella could move, he had strode the short distance to her and grabbed her by the

arm. She felt as if frozen until the smell of rum assailed her nostrils and churned her stomach.

'What a beauty? Out for some fun darlin'? You can come with us'.

He pulled her towards the carriage and she started to scream. They all started to laugh as five or six men jumped down and surrounded her. Her own screams filled her ears and their mouths moved but what they said did not register in her mind. She knew what they wanted and fear paralysed her and for a moment she could not move. For another few seconds, they propelled her towards the carriage as the words they said registered in her mind.

'Good girls aren't out alone at night. You're a doxy from the docks aren't you sweetie? Who do you want first, hey?'

As the full realisation of their intentions struck her, she started to fight as only Bella knew how. Her father had taught her to use her fists and she connected with two jaws which sent two men flying into the dirt. Their drunkenness was not to their advantage and then she pulled a sword from another's scabbard as she cut the arm of one and pointed the tip at the throat of another. The other two backed off as they heard the sounds of a horse's hooves and a man pulled his horse beside their carriage and surveyed the situation.

'What is going on here?'

Bella's eyes were desperate with fear and her body taut with adrenalin as she stared from her attackers to the man who jumped from his horse. She stared at him as disbelief filled her mind.

'Mike...what are you doing here?'

'I had business in Charlotte Town. Just as well I arrived now. Back off gentleman. This is a lady not a common whore to seduce. You will feel the pain of my weapons if you don't depart now'.

The men, injured and uninjured, looked to Bella with the drawn sword and Mike with his sword and revolver aimed at them and they jumped into the carriage and sped away. As they disappeared, Bella collapsed on the dirt road, falling to her knees, overcome by the ordeal.

'Why are you here, Bella?'

She stared at Mike and told him of her fear for Edward, her lame horse and her attackers. She begged him to see her safely to Edward. He helped her to her feet and then onto his horse. As his hands brushed her arms and encompassed her waist to help her into the saddle, he wanted to take her away on his horse but instead he did as she had requested. He held her before him on his horse and the nearness of her was driving him crazy. Her neck was so close to his lips and he

only had to move his hands upwards and he could caress her breasts but he controlled himself, telling himself that one day she would belong to him and he would have her in his bed. He stopped a distance from the cottage and told her he had to go and she asked him to check her horse on the way back. He smiled and disappeared into the dark.

The glow of light welcomed her as she walked up to the cottage. Edward's horse turned at the sound of her feet as they crackled the sticks on the path. He stared at her and whinnied and despite her worry and fear of the dark, Bella smiled as she had grown to love the beautiful black stallion that Edward had befriended. She walked to him, patting his muzzle and as she did she saw the other horse, standing at the side of the cottage, tied to the railing. The horse looked familiar but it was dark and Bella was puzzled as fear gripped her stomach and fed her anxiety. She turned and walked to the cottage, standing before the bedroom window. The curtains were open...the windows also as the night air gushed into the room, flaring the candle on the bedside table.

An instinct she did not recognise moved her feet until her gaze fell on the bed.

Signs, moans...the sounds of lovemaking travelled to her disbelieving ears. Before her eyes the reality destroyed her, murdering her swiftly with the knife of betrayal, taking her life...killing all the love in her young, naïve heart.

His hair was ruffled, falling over his shoulders as the fluttering candlelight highlighted the muscles of his arms and torso. She stared at his masculine beauty as her breath caught in her throat and a knife of agony struck her heart.

She heard his moans of pleasure as he gathered the woman into his arms and Bella struggled to accept this as reality. Her agonised gaze fell on the sheets that lay in disarray on the bed. The blue birds of happiness that she had painstakingly sewed on the pillow cushioned the head of the woman who had stolen everything that Bella held dear. An agony so intense filled her heart and pains twisted her stomach and bowels into knots. She moaned as she watched Tanya Denali stare at the window, laughing, knowing who would be watching. Bella shut her eyes to the sight, unable to gaze into the gloating face of her nemesis.

She stumbled away from the cottage, falling to her knees as she heaved the contents of her stomach. Her hands supported her from falling into the dirt and as she gazed on her trembling fingers, she saw the ring he had given her. A memory filled her mind of not so long ago when he had taken her to the jeweller across town to pick out a 'ring of promise' he had said. The memory was played back in her mind almost in slow motion as she saw the look in his eyes, the sweetness of his smile and the words of promise on his lips as he had placed the ring upon her finger.

She fell to the ground in the dirt, screaming in agony as she pulled the ring from her finger. She felt faint but she refused to succumb to the urge to escape this reality with unconsciousness. Her heart pounded in her chest and she could hardly breathe. She jumped to her feet. She wanted to run. She wanted to hide. She wanted to kill him. She wanted to kill her. She wanted to be gone from this place forever. She cursed as she pulled the ring from her finger, throwing it into the darkness of the night.

Leaving the only evidence of her presence...the small shoe prints in the dirt, she fled as panic seized her, fear making her incapable of confronting the lovers. Part of her admonished her and told her to kick the door open and drag Tanya from his arms but she could not. She just wanted to run. Shock numbed her body and sent waves of shaking through her limbs as reality eluded her. She managed to mount the huge animal as the scenes of her life were played cruelly for her despair. She could see Edward in every one. His kindness and his love through the many long years but it all was gone...betrayed by this act of dishonour. She held the reins in her hands and dug her heels into the animal's belly as he neighed and reared on his back legs, unused to the lightness of the rider so different from the weight of his master. He snorted and pounded the ground but Bella clung onto him. He sprang forward, riding down an unfamiliar road.

The wind rushed in Bella's face as the dam of tears burst, flooding her face in rivers of hate. Tears blinded her but she clung to the animal, not directing him or caring where she was going as long as it was away from Edward. Hurt was replaced by anger that seized her and became rage. She could not accept that it had all had been a lie. All the years of love and the words of his had been a lie. How could he hurt her so? She could make so sense of it as her confused mind fell into paths of self doubt and loathing. She was not good enough. She was poor. She was not pretty enough. She was too bossy. She blamed him but she could not shake the damning voice in her mind and that told her it was her fault.

She screamed into the wind and cried until all her tears were gone and she felt as she was numb. She was cold but she felt nothing. All her limbs strained and her muscled were pulled

to the point of tearing as she clung onto the powerful stallion but she felt nothing. Reality had ceased to exist as she rode on and on into the night as a storm gathered, the wind gusting around her. The thunder roared and the lightning struck. Trees fell around her as the lightning hit the forest beside her but she did not flinch. The horse ducked under the cover of the trees as she felt her life crumple into oblivion. Aries galloped frantically...frightened of the storm and the lack of direction from the unfamiliar rider. He had been used to the sure and confident commands of his master, not this wild creature who clung to him and gave him no guidance. Desperately, the horse dodged trees, jumping fences, eager to return home, not knowing where to go. The lightning terrified him and he wanted to throw the person from his back but she clung to him with such desperation he could not shift her. He heard the noises she made and this did not reassure him. Her tears blinded Bella as she wished to be taken from the reality of the memory filling her mind...of Tanya in his arms. The pain in her heart filled her entire being as she screamed Edward's name to the wildness of the wind. The horse rose up upon his hind legs as the lightning struck beside him and Bella tumbled off his back. She fell heavily to the earth as the heavens opened and the torrents fell.


	2. Chapter 2

Ten

Silvery dew of early morning clung to her closed eyelids as rain drops started to fall on her, soaking her damp clothes. Her dress was torn. Her cameo choker lost.

The morning sun streamed from behind the clouds, shining on her, reflecting on the silver bracelet her father had given her for her fifteenth birthday. A strong wind blew the trees around her as leaves fell on her but she still did not wake. The forest around her was ancient. The trees so tall their canopies shrouded the forest in darkness, except for the place where Bella lay. Her stead had abandoned her, rushing for home, willing to leave the person who had abducted him. He had only known the commands and the gentle hands of the man who owned him and the moment he could escape her, he did. He had tried numerous times to throw her off his back but she had clung on with tenancity but now Edward's stallion was safe back in the livery, his head in a feedbag and he did not think of the woman. She lay in the dirt as the birds screeched their morning calls as the wind blew, lifting her skirts and pushing her hair across her face.

Jacob held the reins of his horses securely as he sang, feeling happy. He felt good about his life and at that moment did not think he could be happier. A song came to his mind as his deep baritone voice resonated through the dense forest. He sat alone on the buckboard of his gypsy wagon and listened to the tinkling of the bells he had hung down the side of the canopy. The musical sound made him smile and he thought his wagon beautiful as he had recently painted it red and yellow and had asked his grandmother to make new curtains. He also had a new quilt made by his woman and he thought of her now, looking forward to meeting up with her soon and perhaps that night he hoped she would lay beneath the quilt with him. He thought of her dark eyes, black hair and willing kisses. He felt so happy, he started another song.

For an hour, he travelled, enjoying the brisk morning air as his companions followed behind him down the road in their colourful wagons. He smiled, enjoying the gypsy song but, suddenly his attention was drawn to a narrow winding track disappearing into the forest. Abruptly, he pulled his horses to a halt, squinting in the sunlight.

A flash of light had arrested his attention. He stared again then jumped from the buckboard, sprinting down the narrow road which had ended in a dense part of the forest. She was young and she was beautiful. Her body lay on its side and her left leg and right arm were crumpled under her body. She looked like a beautiful broken doll and Jacob sighed, knowing she must be dead. He wondered how she came to be here. He knelt beside her and gently lifted the dark hair from her face. She was so still that he did not expect to feel the even pulse at the base of her throat. He noticed the wounds on her forehead, the swelling and the beginning of purple and yellow bruising. The open red wound on her temple still weeped blood onto her cheeks. Gently he touched her skin. She was so cold but she was alive! He heard the calling of his name and he turned to see his friends and family, beckoning him to return to his wagon. He ignored them as he gently rolled her over to try to straighten her limbs. He could see that they were broken. He wanted to pull her elbow and knee back into its right place but he was afraid...afraid of hurting her. He would take her to his Aunt. She was a healer and he prayed that she could help. He rubbed his fingers across the gash on her forehead and noticed the trail of blood that had crossed her cheek and entered her mouth. She was so pale and he despaired that she would not live for long.

His family called his name again but he knew that he must act quickly. He lifted her into his arms, carrying her tenderly. She was so light in his arms and the task of climbing into his wagon was achieved quickly and easily and he laid her on his bed. He observed again the chill of her skin and the wetness of her clothing. Slowly he removed her garments and took a piece of dry clothing and rubbed her skin all over to bring some warmth back to her. He wanted to lay his body beside hers to bring life and warmth to her skin but the sudden appearance of his cousin at his wagon startled Jacob.

'Jacob...she is not dead?'

'No, Ruy...she is alive but she has broken limbs and is very ill. Call Aunt for me. I need her to set these limbs. I am not confident to do it'.

Ruy was younger than his cousin and he could not remember a time when he had ever not admired Jacob. He had always looked up to him...admired his strength and courage and now he felt so proud to see how kind Jacob was...how he had taken the injured woman to his wagon. Ruy had glimpsed her and noticed the beauty of her pale face. He felt sorry for her injuries and he now hurried to his Aunt. Her wagon was the second last one lined up along the dirt road. His friends and family asked him questions as he ran past them and he answered with all seriousness that Jacob had saved the woman and he must get the healer. Some shook their heads, not caring about another's injury but many were sympathetic and crowded around Jacob's wagon. Some took blankets and others rum, bandages and herbs.

The old woman rose from the back of her wagon and frowned at her young nephew. His words were hurried and excited as he told the story of the beautiful casualty in the wagon of his cousin and the urgent errand he had been given. Ruy stared at the face lined and wrinkled with the cares of years. He gazed into her questioning eyes...eyes that had not dimmed with the advancing time. She stared at him but did not speak. Ruy sensed there was no need for words as the healer sighed and turned to her bag of medicines and bandages.

Jacob smiled at her and kissed her cheek as she entered his wagon with Ruy beside her. The healer's eyes travelled over the young woman, noting she was covered with a quilt. Slowly she inspected the woman's head injuries, applying salve and bandages. Jacob and Ruy watched her as she started to pull the quilt from the woman. Frowning she noticed the young woman's nakedness.

'You can leave Ruy. Obviously Jacob has already seen the young woman's nakedness but let her have some dignity.'

Ruy turned, obeying the healer but part of him wanted to stay. He turned one more time before he jumped from the buckboard and saw the disapproving brown eyes of the healer holding him to account. He felt guilty as he landed on the ground and went to light a fire as he presumed they would be camped here for a while.

'Aunt...I believe her right arm and left leg are broken. Please show me where to set the bones'.

The healer stared at her nephew, noticing the tears in his eyes. She frowned as she ran her hands along Bella's right arm where the elbow lay in an awkward position. Likewise, she felt the knee area of her left leg.

'Find some strong sticks for splints'.

Jacob hurried to find the requests and returned to see the young woman moaning in pain as his Aunt knelt over her.

'Hurry, she is waking. We need to move the bones now before she fully wakes. Here turn the elbow this way and pull the knee back into place'.

Jacob breathed deeply afraid of what he had to do. He gulped and then stared at his Aunt. Her eyes were warm and encouraging.

'You can do it, Jacob. Just do it gently until you think it feels right and looks right'.

'Will she wake?'

The look of the healer was easily understood by Jacob as he knew he must act now. As he took Bella's elbow in his hands, tears filled his eyes as he turned her arm and felt the bones crack back into place. Then he took her knee but as he put pressure on the bones an agonising scream filled his wagon and he turned to see her awake, sitting up and staring at him with the wildness of one who did not know where she was. Her eyes travelled over them and at herself. Her arms flew over her body to cover her nakedness.

'Ruy', the healer screamed and the young man jumped into the wagon.

'Hold her down'.

'Jacob...do it now'.

The healer was obeyed as Ruy held Bella by the shoulders while the healer poured pain reliever down her throat. Bella coughed and spluttered as Jacob took her knee and pulled it back into place. Bella screamed and then fell unconscious.

They all sighed with relief and commenced to splint her leg and bind her broken arm. The healer checked the rest of her body and then realised that the young woman had two broken ribs. Ointment was applied to the midriff area and then Bella dressed in a long shirt of Jacob's. Ruy was instructed to take the young woman's wet clothes to the fire. As Ruy left he could not take the sight of the naked beauty of the woman from his eyes. He poked the fire and stirred the soup that he had made and settled himself before the fire. Presently, the healer and Jacob joined him and the others who were interested in the welfare of the woman. After a while, Jacob returned to his caravan and applied more ointment to the woman's wounds before they continued their journey. He sat beside her again, staring at her beauty marred by the wounds on her face. He adjusted the bandage on her head and he remembered how he had wiped the blood from her cheeks and the corners of her mouth. Her face was clean now but it was bruised. Her hair had been covered in blood but he had washed it as best as he could in the confines of his caravan. Her arm was bound and strapped to her body and her leg lay straight in the wooden splint and bound with cords. He sighed as he realised there was nothing more he could do for her. She still slept heavily from the tincture that his Aunt had given her and he suddenly worried that she may be in a coma. He touched her on the face and she mumbled. He smiled knowing that she only slept. He was astounded at the extent of her injuries and he was surprised that she had not died. He pulled the quilt over her and then lent towards her and laid a gentle kiss on her lips as he rose to continue his journey.

It was in the early afternoon when the troup of gypsies resumed the journey that they had had been halted to tend to Bella's injuries. He resumed his seat on the buckboard as he commanded his horses into motion. The road travelled the coastline, past steep cliffs and beaches but Jacob did not notice the beauty around him as his mind dwelt on Bella, wondering how she had come to be abandoned and injured. Had she been attacked? He turned his head to look at her many times as she lay asleep. She still had not woken.

Half an hour later the gypsies neared a coastal town, a shipping port where they stopped to confer about performing. Jacob jumped from the caravan and approached two of his company who wished to stay in the town that night. They said it was too late to continue and they had noticed the size of the town and the ships in the port. They had pulled their caravans on the town green before the harbour and many people stopped to stare at them, interested in their gaily coloured caravans. Jacob gazed around him and saw the sign of a doctor hanging on one of the buildings. He had an idea born on his anxiety for the woman.

'We move on to meet Victoria and her father as we promised but I wish to see if the doctor can look at the woman. You could perform a few dances, if you wish'.

The others listened to him and obeyed him as he was the next in line as leader of their company. As the men picked up their violins and the women started to dance, Jacob knocked on the door of the doctor's residence. Jacob stood for a long time before the door was opened by a child who stared at him. He addressed his request but the answer disappointed him.

'Father and Mother are away. My Aunt is here. She has just arrived from Boston. She is a nurse.'

The nurse came to the door and listened to Jacob's request and accepted his gold coin payment. She was old but he hoped she could reassure him that what he had done was right. Jacob felt uncomfortable, like he had betrayed his Aunt by wanting another to look at the woman. But he shook away his thoughts and he knew he wanted to be sure that the limbs were set correctly and if anyone in the town knew the woman he had found. He imagined her family would be worried about her. The nurse lifted the quilt from Bella's body to inspect the broken ribs, arm and leg. She inspected the cuts on Bella's face, the pallor of her skin and the temperature on her forehead. She shook her head and left the caravan, returning with some sleeping draught and ointment for the wounds.

'You have done well. You have set her bones right but I would like my brother to look at her. He will be back in a week. You can leave her with me.'

Jacob gazed into the grey eyes of the old woman and suddenly he realised that he did not want to do that. He must leave this town in the hour. He told her he would stop to see another doctor in the next town.

'Do you know her?'

The woman stared at him and he explained how he had found her.

'No, I have just arrived on a ship from Boston this morning. I do not know her. I do not live here. Where did you say you found her?'

Jacob told her that it was in the forest on the road before the fork to Charlotte Town.

'She may come from either of these towns. I do not know. You could ask the Sheriff.'

As she left his caravan, Bella started to moan.

'Best give her some of that medicine I gave you. She will be in pain for a long time until all those bones heal. It will also bring down her fever'.

Jacob thanked her as he did as she had told him and then he gathered the company together to finish the twenty mile journey to the next town. Jacob realised that they would arrive late in the evening and he imagined the chagrin of Victoria to have been kept waiting but suddenly he shrugged off the thought.

The caravans turned off the town green and followed the cobbled road out of town. Several children in front of a tavern ran into the street, hoping the decorated caravans would stop to perform but became disappointed when they moved on. Jacob smiled as he waved at the children thinking how darkly beautiful the young girls were, like the young woman in his caravan. A sudden thought to stop and ask the young girls if they knew the woman filled his mind but as soon as that thought had come it was replaced with the thoughts of the angst of the leader of his company and his daughter who would hold Jacob to account for his lateness. Instead of stopping he encouraged his horses to go faster as the sun started to set. His eyes strayed to the back of his caravan where the woman lay, hidden in his quilt and he visualized her fragile beauty, suddenly wishing to kiss her pale lips. For hours he thought only of her. Who was she? What had happened to her?

His inquiring mind, so full of the mysterious, elfin beauty of Bella, he almost forgot the meeting in the next town. It was dark now and the lanterns on the caravans gave them light to travel and the full moon had risen. Jacob saw the caravan pulled up at the side of the road. A fire had been lit and Jacob could see two people there. He pulled his horses to a sudden stop as Victoria ran to him, climbing up beside him, kissing him. Smiling nervously, he wondered the outcome of having a woman in his bed. He suddenly realised he had completely forgotten Victoria when he had wished to save the young beauty. Victoria frowned at him.

'You are so late, Jacob. Father and I were worried. What happened?'

Jacob started to answer as Victoria turned her head to gaze through the tasselled curtains to see the woman stirring, moving the quilt. The light of the lantern inside the caravan highlighted the beauty of Bella's face, even with a large bandage on her head.

'Jacob!' Victoria screamed in his ear, 'you have a woman in your bed!' She started to hit him.

'Stop it woman!' Jacob yelled. 'She is injured. I found her on the road.'

'It is not your business to help strangers. She is not gypsy, is she?' Victoria fumed at him. 'Why is she injured?' 'What happened to her?' 'Why do you have her?' 'She could be in someone else's caravan'.

Jacob's ire rose at her interrogation. She was not his wife...yes, his lover but he had not done anything wrong except help the woman and he resented Victoria's insinuations.

'I had to help her.'

'You will remove her now!' Victoria commanded him as she climbed into the caravan, shaking Bella, noticing her closed eyes...the pallor of her face and the fever on her brow. She pulled back the quilt to see the splints and bandages but the truth did not appease her rage. She gasped in outrage.

'She is wearing your shirt. The one I made for you! How? Why? Was she naked? Did you undress her?'

The inquisition was infuriating Jacob.

'Yes, I undressed her. She was cold and so ill. She still is'.

'I can see she is injured but she must go!' Victoria demanded.

His anger surprised her. 'She will go when I say she goes. This is my caravan! She is too damaged to move. I say she stays here.'

Jealous rage simmered dangerously as Victoria turned to face the ocean beside the winding road. She wanted her own way and she was determined to get it. The fiery anger of her ancestral heritage ran strongly in her personality as she loved Jacob passionately, wanting to become his wife and bear his children. She had idolised him since they were children and it had been almost understood that they would marry. Since puberty she had wanted him to love her but he had not seemed that interested until recently. It was true that she was only sixteen but that did not deter from her abilities to be a good wife. She had learnt to care for infants, to cook, clean and she had proven to him that she could satisfy him in the lusts of his body. He had taken her to be his lover last spring but she was disappointed that she had not become with child yet. She had hoped that that reason may prompt him to marry her. She had brought up the subject with him but he had ignored her until she persisted, then he had told her that she was too young to marry. That made her more furious as she was not too young to bed and she did not think that fair. She thought that she would just have to try harder to bear his child so every opportunity she had she had encouraged him to lie with her.

Her dark eyes blazed as jet as she looked back at Bella, groaning in her sleep. Jacob pulled his horses to a stop and climbed into the back of the caravan beside Bella. With hate in her heart, Victoria watched him. His hand tenderly caressed the woman's brow as he felt her temperature and she heard him curse. She saw him take the medicine from his shelf, pouring an amount into a cup. Victoria fumed as Jacob gently lifted the woman's head to carefully pour the contents into her mouth. He looked like an old hen clucking over her chicks and Victoria struggled to control her temper.

'Where did she live? You should have left her there.'

Jacob ignored her although he gazed in her direction. He laid Bella back on the pillows after giving her a few sips of water and then pulled the quilt over her.

'That is my quilt. I don't want her to use it!'

Her words were venomous and Jacob sighed at her attitude. He rummaged around at the storage compartment in his caravan and pulled out an old quilt his mother had made for him. It was faded but it was still warm and gave him fond memories. He gently removed Victoria's quilt from around Bella, placing his own on her. He crawled to the front of the caravan, taking the quilt with him.

'Have it then'.

He threw it at her and it landed all over her and then tumbled to the dirt road. She screamed with fury as she jumped to the road, taking the quilt into her arms. She noticed her father's caravan had stopped also and she rushed to it, unable to stay with Jacob any longer and he was glad of it. He continued his journey in silence as he pondered how he could care for the woman...he would have to carry her to the river to be washed and for private reasons and he wondered when she woke how she would cope with this. In fact he looked forward to her waking and then she could tell him who she was and where she lived. At the present moment, it all seemed such a hard task but he vowed to take her to her home when she woke.

Eleven

Twilight gathered around them like an enfolding cloak and the fires were lit to prepare the evening meal. He had parked his caravan away from the others and then he sought out his cousin, Ruy.

'How is your patient?'

'Very ill. Ruy, I want you to do a favour for me. Victoria is furious with me for having the woman with me. Can you keep an eye on her? Can you sit on the buckboard and guard her. I will bring some dinner over for you.'

Jacob's nephew nodded his head and took his place as guard, watching Jacob as he walked towards the fire. The women were cooking. A vegetable broth had been simmering for hours and Jacob meant to take some to his patient. He knew she needed nourishment and she should be waking soon. He meant to change her bandage dressings, feed her and then give her the medicine from the woman in the town. It seemed stronger than his Aunt's medicine. He did not know what it was but it certainly eased her suffering. As he approached the women, he saw Victoria gaze at him and he witnessed the fire in her eyes. He did not care that she was angry with him but it bothered him that all thoughts of her had left his mind since he had found the woman. He thought he had loved Victoria and he considered that he still did. He had grown up with her. Altough she was five years younger than him, he had enjoyed her company except for her bad temper. This he hated about her, especially now as she exhibited no caring or empathy for another. Jacob was a gentle man and he had been told he was too soft, 'like a woman', his friends had said but he did not worry about it. He was who he was. His Aunt said he was like his mother. A gentle woman who had spoken softly, cared for all and it had been a great loss to the company when she had died giving birth to Jacob. Jacob's father had gone a bit crazy then and left the company and no one ever knew what happened to him. That made Jacob sad as he would have liked to have known his father, as he had lost his mother but his Aunt and the others had raised him. That was why he had grown up with Victoria. Her mother and father had been kind to him and it had always been understood that they would marry. He acknowledged that Victoria that prompted him many times lately and even Victoria's father had mentioned it, but something held Jacob back. He did not know why. He wondered if Victoria would get pregnant. He expected it as they had lain together since spring but summer had gone and it was now autumn and no sign of a child.

Jacob felt uncomfortable as she gazed at him. He poured three bowls of soup, one for the woman, one for Ruy and one for himself. He took a loaf of bread and strode off to his caravan. Ruy greeted him and they sat together on the buckboard and shared their meal. While Jacob was eating, he was beckoned by the other men to the performance they were about to give. Several townspeople had gathered to see them and Jacob sighed as he took his violin from his caravan and joined the men while the women formed a group before them. They were dressed in colours of vibrant red, orange and purple...bells on their ankles, wrists and huge earrings in their ears. They hair was long and dark brown, brushed and held in place by a scarf on the forehead. They were beautiful. Victoria was there among them. She had wished for Jacob's eyes on her so she joined the other dancers for the evening performance in the town of Baltsa. The moon shone brightly as the music began. It was wild, vibrantly exciting. They played two songs but Jacob's attention was not on his music and constantly his eyes strayed to his caravan. He noticed all the townspeople standing around, enjoying the performance but his mind was elsewhere. He gazed at the women dancing and noticed Victoria staring at him...she smiled but he frowned and looked away. Victoria's mind was not focused on her performance. Instead her eyes stayed on Jacob, demanding him to look at her. Victoria had hoped to capture his heart this night with the seductiveness of her moves but, when she noticed his lack of attention, her jealous fury controlled her. Rejection burned her soul and her lips trembled. Tears formed in her eyes and her steps faltered. She fell heavily to the ground. The other women danced around her, telling her to get up but she raised her head to look for Jacob. She wanted him to help her, to show that he cared but he was gone, leaving the other gypsy men to finish the performance.

He hurried to join Ruy still seated on the buckboard. Jacob ate the remainder of his soup and bread, then parted his curtains to gaze at his patient. He could see the flush on her cheeks and she began to groan. He took her cooled soup into his hands and climbed in to sit beside her. He despaired as he felt the fever that consumed her. She was burning. He took his tinder and lit his lantern hanging from the roof of his caravan but the sudden light brought the woman's hands to cover her eyes and she cried with pain. He diminished the light and took a cloth, wet it in a bowl and covered her forehead. He poured her medicine and lifted her shoulders to give her the draught from the doctor. He knew she was awake and suffering but she had not spoken. He did not know what to say. She tried to open her eyes but the dim light was still obviously painful as she squinted and then closed them again.

'If you can hear me...eat this soup'.

He lifted her shoulders again and she opened her mouth and sipped at the soup. He kept on feeding her until half the meat and vegetable soup was gone. He tried to give her some softened bread but she started to cough. A coughing spasm controlled her as she vomited the soup and the medicine he had given her. She groaned in pain and he tried to soothe her with kind words. He removed the soiled sheet and wiped her mouth.

'I am sorry' she mumbled but she still did not open her eyes. Her body was alive with pain. He could see the evidence of suffering on her beautiful features but he despaired that she would be able to keep down the medicine she needed. He spoke soothingly to her and then started to sing a lullaby. He did not know what else to do. Her face was pale. Bruises covered her brow, her cheeks and her neck. She seemed so fragile and so vulnerable. Her black hair covered the pillow and she shut her eyes tightly as a spasm of pain controlled her. She felt nauseous and tried to control the fear that held her. She felt the pain in her left knee and right arm. Also her forehead was filled with a headache that dominated the pain in her limbs. She felt hot and then cold as perspiration broke out on her skin. She vomited again but she had nothing in her stomach to bring up. Jacob held a bowl for her as she empited the bile from the bottom of her stomach. He gave her some sips of water and then thought to put some diluted medicine in the water. She managed to drink a small amount with the pain reliever she needed. He cleaned her clothes again and wiped her mouth. As she turned her head on the pillow to face the gentle voice she had listened to, she tried to open her eyes. The light was dim but she managed to open her eyes as she took Jacob's hand in hers.

'Thank you'.

These simple words and the depth of beauty and vulnerability in her eyes struck Jacob to his core. Amidst her pain and suffering, she managed a smile and Jacob could find no words to speak.

'Please...sing', she said as she closed her eyes again and as his voice drifted to the end of a gypsy lullaby he noticed her even breathing and that her fever had lessened. He tidied the mess around him and made sure she was comfortable. He brightened his lantern but hid it behind a curtain to save her eyes and then he just sat there staring at her. The colour of her eyes had amazed him...they were more beautiful than he could have imagined. He did not know how long he sat there. His eyes fell heavy in sleep until she stirred, moaning, turning from the light as terror held her and her mind floundered in agonising pain. Her fever returned and she felt so hot, as if she was on fire. Her head ached so much and although she knew the man was beside her, she could not open her eyes. Nausea covered her body in waves of retching foulness. Suddenly, a voice yelled, searing her head with torture as she became afraid, not knowing who these people were. The kind man had lulled her disquiet but the screeching woman, terrified her.

'Are you making love to her Jacob? You cannot touch her. You are mine. Remember that you will regret this, Jacob!' the female voice said. 'You cannot treat me in this fashion!' Victoria continued to threaten as her voice ended on a whining wail.

Stunned, Jacob stared at Victoria suddenly behind him, raining blows on his back while he held her at bay.

'You are a fool, Victoria' he said as he turned her around and held her arms to stop her punches. He glanced to Bella and saw her fear.

'Do not be afraid!' he told her, 'you are safe!'

Bella hid from them both, using the quilt as her shield and protection. He felt her forehead again and he knew her fever was more intense than before. He could see her body shaking and her teeth chattering. His fear for her motivated his words.

'Victoria, get my Aunt!' Jacob ordered but she ignored him, snarling in Bella's direction. 'Victoria!' he yelled at her again but she only spat at Bella.

'Move!' he told her forcibly, trying to lower his voice.

Jacob took a cloth and dipped it into his water flask and covered Bella's forehead. She could feel the coolness seep into her burning brow and she was grateful. Jacob jumped from his caravan as he threatened Victoria.

'Keep away from her. If you harm her, you will be sorry!'

'Ruy, watch her'. His nephew raised his head from his pillow and blanket on the ground beside the caravan and watched Victoria who stared at Jacob in disbelief as he disappeared into the darkness. Victoria glanced back at Bella and made a gypsy sign of cursing, then added her own words of warning.

'He is my man. You may be ill but you will not have him. I will kill you first...you are not gypsy. You are not worthy to be in the bed of the man I love!'

The venom she had heard in Jacob's words had stunned Victoria and she felt a gaping well of sadness filling her heart as she realised Jacob did not love her. She stumbled away, unrequited love burning into her soul.

As Jacob hurried to his Aunt's caravan a sudden pang of guilt scorched his conscience as he realised the depth of the anger that he had felt at Victoria's attack and insinuations. He felt strange as until now he had been reasonably happy with her. He examined his feelings, not being able to understand his reasons or motives. Possessed with concern for Bella, he hurried to his Aunt's caravan with an urgent request.

'I need medicine...now! The woman's fever is intense. What should I do? She is hot and then cold. She is shaking and her teeth chattering. I beg you, Aunt, help me!'

The old woman stared at her nephew with her dark brooding eyes as she rubbed her wrinkled hand across her chin, showing a grimace of disapproval by the pursing of her lips.

'You should not meddle in another's business. You should have left her. Her kin would have found her. It is not our way, Jacob, you know that!'

'It is not wrong to help someone, Aunt. She would have died!'

The shrug of the old woman's shoulders stated her consideration of the matter. She sighed deeply as she took a jar from her closet and commenced to prepare a potion. Jacob watched her and how she prepared the herbs, heated the mixture and then blended it all together with some liquid. He had studied herb lore under the tutelage of his Aunt, the most learned herbalist in the family and he was grateful for what she taught him and how she had cared for him when his parents had died. But now he could not think. He should know the herbs to use but his mind was blank. His fear for the woman expelled all logic as he panicked. He tried to stay calm but he did not feel confident to mix the medicine for her.

As the old woman's dark eyes held him to account, he had to defend himself.

'You saw her that day, Aunt. I could not leave her! She would have died.'

'You could have left her in that town.'

The old gypsy's words struck Jacob to the root of his guilt as he knew that she spoke the truth. He did not answer her but he knew that it was too late to return the woman now. She was too ill. She may die. He told himself when she recovered and she had her full senses, she would tell him who she was and where she lived, if not in the town with the doctor, then another. The old woman remained silent, observing her nephew through the corner of her eye as she continued to grind the medicine and add liquid to make it drinkable.

'Be wary. She will cause trouble!' the old woman warned as she handed him the medicine but her words were ignored as Jacob hurried to his caravan. He noticed Ruy sitting on the buckboard, rubbing his eyes, sleepily. Jacob patted his nephew's shoulder in thanks as he climbed into the caravan to sit beside the woman.

Bella's eyes were closed but she heard him, wondering who he was. She had caught a hazy imagine of him before and she remembered his accepted his help as he held the cup to her lips and, as she drank of the bitter tasting medicine, he told her to relax.

Deep...soothing...gentle, his voice held her in a state of peace that she did not understand, like he held her in some kind of magical trance. Gently, he placed the cool cloth on her forehead touching her cheek telling her not to be afraid...he would care for her. She listened to his quiet voice like balm to her wounds as she tried to seize control on the terror as it careered through her mind, stabbing pains of exquisite agony. Like a heavy fog, the pain enfolded and dominated her as she became one with her suffering. Uncontrollable tears poured from her eyes, down her cheeks and he despaired to see her pain. Suddenly, miraculously, the pain eased, then mysteriously disappeared, blown into oblivion. She continued to cry...this time, tears of relief as he held her hand, whispering reassurance to her.

Eventually sleep claimed her while Jacob sat with her, holding her hand, unable to take his eyes from her. A spell held him, one he had not known in the past. His vivid imagination created scenarios of who she could be. Was she an angel fallen from heaven? Or a mermaid cursed to live on the land? He laughed at that ridiculous thought. Had he not always been told he had an overactive imagination?

Eventually, his eyelids grew heavy as he lay down beside her, still holding her hand. Jacob slept until her cries of pain aroused him and he gave her more of the medicine. He was relieved to notice her fever was lessening and she fell asleep again.

In the twilight of dawn, he woke beside her. He stared at her as she finally opened her eyes fully and gazed at him. He knew her fever had broken. Her eyes were brown with flecks of gold when you gazed into them. They stunned him and he could not speak. Fear filled her mind as she pulled the quilt around her. He gestured that she needed to drink by holding up the flask of water. She accepted his hand on her neck as he held her up to drink. She sipped the water and smiled at him as she whispered her thanks. He smiled at her too and spoke comfort to her. The sound of his voice seemed to be her saviour but she did not know the man sitting beside her. The voice she knew startled her.

'Do not fear me. I will not hurt you'.

Then she connected the voice to the man. He was handsome. His features even and finely chiselled. His dark brown eyes...full and gentle. His mouth seemed to be set in concentration or nervousness as a muscle twitched near his nose. His hair was also dark and worn long, tied at the nape of his neck.

She continued to stare at him and even though she knew he had been the one to help her, she was afraid. She lifted the quilt to run her eyes over herself and she saw that she was wearing a man's shirt and she felt confused.

'Where are my clothes? This is a man's shirt.'

The question startled him as he had been staring at her and it was the first time she had spoken to him. He turned from her and rummaged in the shelf on the side of his caravan and produced some women's clothes neatly folded. He handed them to her.

'If you wish to dress I will have to help you'.

She stared at him in disbelief.

'Are there no women here?'

'Yes, but...'

'Because you have already seen me naked, have you not? So it doesn't matter if you see me again. Is that it?'

He was stunned at her words. She started to rise up from the mattress but her head started to swim and she felt faint. She fell back on the mattress. Her stomach felt sick. Her head started to ache and the pain in her leg and elbow returned.

'Perhaps, I shall wear this shirt for a while' she said as tears formed in her eyes.

'Is this your shirt?'

'Yes.'

She turned her head away from him as she cried. His hand touched her shoulder but she refused to turn to him.

'Are you in pain? Would you like some more medicine?'

She did not speak but nodded her head.

Jacob took more of his Aunt's medicine and gave to her. He did not think that the doctor's medicine was working. It had put her into deep sleep but did nothing for the fever. He slipped his arm under her shoulder and lifted her head. She sipped the medicine.

'Are you hungry?'

She shook her head and turned from him again.

'I will be back soon' he said as he left her and walked into the forest, seeking to be alone as he needed time to think. He stared at the beauty of the elm and the oak trees...tall and majestic as their canopy blocked out the sky. He rubbed his hands on the smooth silver grey bark and he swore he could feel the life beneath it. He felt as one with the forest and at that moment he remembered the forests of his homeland and suddenly wished to see his land again. He pondered how this woman had suddenly come into his life and he felt an ominous feeling that his life would never be the same again. After a while he returned to her side but she lay with her eyes closed and he thought she slept. He thought it remarkable how she resembled the other women in his travelling company of performers...her dark hair...brown skin but her eyes were the most intriguing eyes he had ever seen. He took out his violin and rubbed oil into the wood, caressing it almost like it was a loved one. He did love his music. He wanted to play for her but he did not want to wake her. He stared at her bruises that were becoming more colourful as time passed. Yellow surrounded her eyes and a dark brown bruise travelled along her forehead. Purple rang along the curve of her neck and here he traced the line with the softness of his finger. She jumped, startled and turned to stare at him. Her colour of her eyes turned almost black as she seemed annoyed by the expression on her face.

'Who are you? You are a stranger to me. Do you know me?'

Suddenly the words that had just passed her lips brought realisation to her mind.

'Who am I?'

Twelve

Her hands began to shake as tears formed in her eyes, running across her cheeks. Jacob stared at her helpless expression as he tried to smile reassurance but he knew he could not help her.

'My name is Jacob. I am a gypsy, a wanderer, a performer. I am sorry, sweet one. I do not know who you are. You are not one of us. You remember nothing?'

'Nothing...I...I...how can this be...why am I here with you?'

A gaping hole of loss stretched into an abyss of helplessness. She stared at him and the vulnerability evident in her sad eyes and the trembling of her lips as she started to cry again, made him want to hold her close and tell her that everything would be alright but he remained silent, not knowing what to say.

'If you do not know me, how did I get to be here?'

'I found you, injured on the road. I saved your life!' he told her proudly, trying to justify his actions.

'I am grateful but where did you find me? Can you take me back there?'

Her words brought a certain discomfort to his mind as Jacob studied his motives, realising he did not want to take her back but he had told himself he would.

'Do you remember where you lived? I found you in the forest between Charlottetown or Denali. Do they sound familiar to you?'

Her blank expression worried him as he could not travel to the towns he had mentioned. His group of performers were a long way from that locality now but he felt sad because of the fear in her eyes.

'Yes, I will take you back,' he said, feeling a weight lift from his shoulders.

'Why did you remove my clothes?'

The fear had returned to her eyes again and he wanted to protect her from all harm and worry.

'Your clothes were soaked. I do not know how long you lay on the road or what happened to you. You were very cold. You have been so ill because of it and the injuries you suffered. Your clothes are washed and clean now!'

She frowned, feeling uncomfortable, knowing she had been naked...for how long?

Suddenly, with the worry, the pain returned...stabbing, jolting agony, traversing her head, destroying all logic as she struggled to keep her sanity. Crippling nausea and vertigo were also her companions as salty tears of despair thundered down her cheeks as he offered his scarf.

'Relax...you will not get better if you worry so'.

Tenderness filled his heart for her as his lips lightly touched the bruises on her forehead.

She did not understand why he had kissed her forehead but he also started to sing and she remembered the lullaby from hazy memories. She closed her eyes. She sighed as she told herself to be calm as Jacob's voice lulled her to sleep and the pain in her head and body disappeared. She felt warm, comfortable and safe. She reached out and took his hand. She held it to her cheek and that action stunned Jacob. He realised that she trusted him and he felt happy that he was helping her. He could see that she was asleep but she still held his hand tightly. He watched her as she slept until Ruy poked his head into the caravan.

'We must go, Jacob...to the next town.'

He nodded his head in confirmation as he slowly tried to remove his hand. She clung to him and then sighed as his hand left the warmth of hers and the softness of her skin. He had never felt skin like hers. She snuffled in her sleep and her lip pouted and moved like she was a baby sucking her mother's nipple and he was moved beyond words. The more he was with her...the more he knew that he could not let her go.

The journey lasted for one hour through a forest that was dark and cold. The gypsy songs had wrung out loud early in the journey but the dark, damp and pungent air of the forest quelled the usual lively spirits of the gypsies. Many were from the old country and remembered the stories of the inhabitants of the forests...the werewolves and witches. Jacob had been born in America, far from his homeland steeped in the old traditions and he preferred to believe what he could see. He did not believe in such nonsense but he also had grown quiet as the still air and the oppressiveness of the forest overwhelmed him. He could not wait to feel the breeze on his shoulder and the sun on his face. He gazed around him and then suddenly startled as a scream wrent through the air. He turned his head to see the woman tossing on the mattress. He pulled his horses to a stop and as he was the last caravan he watched the others move off without him and he did not like to be in this position. He climbed in beside her and she was holding her stomach.

'What is wrong?'

She looked embarrassed but did not answer him.

'Were you dreaming?'

'Yes...I had a bad dream...did I scream?'

'Yes...are you alright now?' he asked but she shook her head.

'I need to go'

His puzzled expression surprised her.

'I need to relieve myself'.

'Oh' he said and realised his stupidity.

He reached for his bedpan at the end of his caravan and she cringed.

'No, I cannot use that...here'.

'Can you hang on?'

She nodded her head in embarrassment as she watched him leave the caravan. Jacob jumped to the ground and looked around him. The trees were so old and their trunks huge and gnarled. Many branches lay on the forest floor from recent storms so several of these Jacob gathered together. He quickly dug a whole with his spade from the side of his caravan and placed the logs across it. As he entered his caravan he saw her trying to rise to her knees...balancing on her good leg and arm, pulling her leg in the splint behind her. He admired her courage.

'Let me help you', he said.

'No', she said.

He saw the stubbourness on her face and the determination in her eyes.

'Let me help you to the ground at least'.

She stared at him but she agreed as she helped her to the buckboard and then he jumped to the ground. He put his arms out to help her and he lifted her into his arms. She felt so light...she was tiny but he could also see that she was strong. He thought her too skinny as she had lost much weight since he had found her that morning, one week ago...she had hardly eaten in that time. Her face was close to his and she stared into his eyes and then looked around them. She followed his gaze to the improvisation he had made for her and she smiled. He lifted her to the ground and she hobbled to the timber. He turned to the caravan and then returned with two damp cloths for her and as he did he wondered how he would get around these problems of her bathing and private moments. Until now he had bathed her with a cloth when she had been feverish but then she had been almost unconscious...now she was awake and alert and there was sternness in her eyes and an air of accountability about her. Suddenly he felt like she was a queen and he was her servant but strangely he did not seem to mind. He stood there staring at her and she frowned.

'Jacob...turn your back. I need to go!'

Her words were said with some desperation and he turned on his heels and walked around the other side of the caravan and he imagined how hard it would be for her with a broken leg, arm and ribs. He heard her cries of pain but he could not come to her aid. After several minutes she rose to her feet putting all her weight on one leg. She cleaned herself and washed her hands with the other wet cloth he had given her, returning her clothes to modesty and she thought about his thoughtfulness. Suddenly a feeling of fear travelled along her skin. She felt cold although sweat ran down her back. She turned around her to stare into the trees. She could feel eyes upon her and the flesh on her neck started to almost crawl as a deep foreboding filled her mind. She heard a loud growl behind her...then another. As she started to move, she saw an animal running to her. She screamed. Within a second, Jacob stood between her and the wolf. Another lurked under the tree. She tried to balance on her good leg but fell to the ground. She stared from her protector to the savage animal and she watched Jacob pull the knife from his boot with a deft movement. The wolf snarled and curled his lips back over his teeth. His stance and his attitude were menacing. Jacob's hand was poised to throw his dagger but a strange feeling filled his being. He stared at the animal and the wolf stared at him. The snarling stopped and the wolf relaxed his pose. Jacob stared into the wolf's golden eyes and he felt riveted to the spot. His hand was still raised to throw the death blow but he remained as a statue as the stare continued. Bella looked on in disbelief from the wolf to Jacob and she was suddenly not afraid. Jacob knew Bella was behind him and he wanted to go to her but he was held as if in a trance. He felt no malice from the wolf...he saw the wolf drop to his haunches and whimper. Jacob could not believe his eyes. He replaced the knife in his boot keeping his eyes on the wolf as it rose to his feet and turned to the other wolf behind the tree. He barked at the other wolf and then Jacob and Bella stared in awe as several wolves came out from where they were and followed the alpha wolf into the forest. Nothing had ever happened like this to Jacob in his entire life. He did not believe in the supernatural and now this had happened. Why? What was his connection with a pack of wild animals that had humbled themselves before him? He did not know. He did not understand. He turned to Bella suddenly where she sat on the ground as stunned as him. He lifted her into his arms and carried her to his caravan. As she lay on his quilt, she stared at him, wondering who he really was. He was a stranger to her but he was becoming so familiar. He looked wild and savage himself as his dark hair fell into his dark eyes. His savageness was replaced with a warm smile and the gaze he gave her, warmed her heart.

'Are you alright?'

She nodded her head but he could see from the look in her eyes and the frown on her brow that she was in pain. He laid her back in bed, gave her water and medicine and told her to sleep. He took hold of the reins and set his horses into motion. He tried to concentrate on the road, to scan the forest around him but his mind kept straying to the memory of the incident with the wolves. He had to talk to his aunt. He pondered his connection to the wolf pack and he could find no answer.

The forest gave way to pasture land and then a large river flowed along the road. They followed the road until the river diverted into four streams and then the last stream into a pond that then continued on into another stream. Bella woke to another blinding pain in her head. She felt so confused. She pressed her hands to her temples and she started to cry. She breathed deeply, trying to control the pain. She had medicine constantly but it did not stop the pain for long. She was worried. She tried to be calm but the pain in her chest, arm and leg was there also. She managed to settle her breathing as her chest hurt. She remembered that Jacob had said her ribs were broken. What had happened to her? Why had the gypsy found her? She had no memory of before waking to so much pain in this gypsy's caravan. She tried not to be afraid but the uncertainty of her circumstances and the pain was wearing on her nerves. She started to cry louder.

Jacob turned to see Bella curled into a ball as she sobbed. He pulled his horses to a stop beside the pond and then climbed into sit beside her. He rubbed his hands across her forehead and told her he was there to help her. He tried the medicine again that the doctor in the town had given him as he remembered it had been effective in taking away her pain although she seemed to sleep for a long time. He thought that he must give more of it to her so her body could recouperate. He raised her shoulders and helped her drink the medicine. She pulled a face as the bitterness travelled down her throat. Pity for her filled his heart as he smiled and kissed her cheek. She stared at him but she was not surprised. She was becoming used to his tenderness although she had only been with him a week. She smiled at him and he became overwhelmed by the beauty of her face and the depth and loveliness of her eyes. He drew close to her and kissed her but the action was witnessed by another.

'Jacob, you are a liar! She is your lover! You have been using me and you have broken my heart. You will be sorry! Where have you been? Your caravan has taken so long to catch up to us. We are camped now and you have only just arrived. You stopped to be with her!'

The vengeful gypsy woman jumped into the caravan, trying to hit him. He moved forward to take Victoria by the arms while he kept one eye on Bella who tried to avoid their thrashing arms and legs. He noticed her agony and yelled at Victoria.

'Shrew...get out of here! Your screaming is hurting her more than she already suffers. She is not my lover as you insinuate. I felt sorry for her. She is in so much pain. Please go Victoria'.

His words chilled her heart, spiralling her jealous rage. 'You will regret this, Jacob. No man treats Victoria de Consuela this way!'

He laughed at her threats as she hurried away, pain gripping her heart, jealous tears blinding her eyes.

His words worried Bella...he seemed so attached to her. She gathered the woman had been Jacob's lover but now he was spurning her. Bella wondered why. She did not want to think that it was because of her...she did not even know him...she did not know these people, not even herself. She stared at him as he came to sit beside her again. Her mind started to wander and she felt foggy. Her pain started to recede but she managed to speak.

'I have no name?'

Pensively, he stared at her then smiled broadly.

'May I call you Isabella?'

Bella stared at him and a feeling tugged in her mind but she felt no connection to the name. Perhaps she knew someone named Isabella?

'Why Isabella?' she asked as she felt the drug taking her further into numbness and a relief from pain.

'You have my mother's eyes...the same color as hers. She died five years ago and she was beautiful as you'. He continued to speak of the mother he had loved but Bella did not hear the rest of his words as the strong drug took away her pain and consciousness.

He grew worried as the day wore on and she was still asleep. Several times he stopped his caravan and sat beside her for a while to see if she was still breathing. She was alive but she had been asleep for six hours. The rest of the troupe were well ahead of him but he did not care. Their destination was a town another twenty miles and he knew he would make it before dark. He sighed as he took the reins again and urged his horses forward.

The sun had set as he pulled up alongside the other caravans and the performance had already begun. The women danced on the town green and the men played their violins. The music was vibrant and the audience applauded but Jacob had no desire to join them. He closed his eyes and listened to the sole violin as it played its haunting melody as Ruy played with an excellance that astounded Jacob. The boy was so talented. He had a rare gift. Jacob had always thought that he could make the instrument almost sing but in the whole troupe there was no-one like Ruy. Lolita sang to his accompaniment and her beautiful voice brought a hush to the crowd as they listened intently. Bella had woken and also listened. The music soothed her soul and entered her hazy consciousness like she was a part of it. It seemed to her as if her gut recognised the sounds of the gypsy violin like it was her past.

'Am I gypsy too? Do I belong to another troupe of performers? Who am I?'

These thoughts frustrated Bella more than helped her. Even though the music soothed her, it brought forth a whole range of questions she could not answer. Jacob had said that he did not know her. He had found her between two towns. She wished he had left her in one of them. Someone may have claimed her...she must belong to someone...some family. Was she an orphan? Did she have no-one? Suddenly, she raised her arm and stared at the bracelet on her wrist. She stared at the gold and the precious stones. This item appeared to be valuable but she could not remember it. Who had given it to her? She raised her other arm and tried to remove it from her wrist but this action brought pains into her broken arm and her chest. She groaned but continued her action and finally the bracelet was held in her fingers. She inspected it. It was a single band of gold with blue stones. Inside she could see some figures. She squinted to make out the writing. Engraved in the gold, she read 'To my daughter, love Pappa'. She was someone's daughter! She had a father! She held the bracelet to her heart and then tried to return it to her wrist but the action brought forth a shrill cry of pain. She had moved her arm and her broken elbow thumped with pain. It felt like someone stuck a knife into it. She tried to expel her breath and breathe deeply but her chest hurt even more. She groaned and cried and suddenly Jacob was beside her with concern covering his face. He took her hand in his but she pulled away from him feeling awkward and comfortable not wanting or needing his affection. She saw his crestfallen look and she felt guilty as he had only ever been kind but the more she dwelt on her amnesia, the more she became afraid.

She did not belong here...knowing these were not her people...they did not really want her. What did he want anyway? Why was he so kind? He had kissed her before. Did he lust for her? He had not tried to touch her but what would the situation be like when she was better. She wanted to get away. Suddenly she did not feel confident of these people like she had before. The woman Victoria had cursed her. How would the others react when she came out to join them when she was better? Haziness filled her mind and she cursed the medicine that he had been giving her. She knew he was trying to help her but she needed her wits about her not this lack of ability to focus. Was he drugging her on purpose? Suddenly, she had a terrible thought that he may have touched her when she slept. She would not know. He had kissed her. What else had he done? She kept her eyes shut as she did not want to face him. She did not want to see his look of concern and caring. Did he mean it? She did not know and there was nothing she could do about it. She was vulnerable and she felt it. She knew he slept beside her and suddenly she did not like it. Now the drug was starting to wear off, panic filled her mind and she wanted to run. She felt hot and sick. She needed to get up. She needed to leave. She opened her eyes and he witnessed the panic there. She knew she needed someone to take care of her but she worried about the intentions of this gypsy. He seemed so devoted to her...more than a casual caring for her welfare. The seriousness of his glance and the way his eyes watched her when he thought she was sleeping, made her uneasy.

The past week became a hazy, distorted form of images as she tried to remember what happened between the times she slept. He was staring at her again and she closed her eyes to the intensity of his gaze. She felt his hand on her forehead and she opened her eyes to stare at him. The brilliance of her eyes heavy with unshed tears startled him and the seriousness of her look worried him. Suddenly, she seemed different and he spoke the thoughts on his mind.

'I want you for my woman, Isabella. Marry me? You are only young...perhaps sixteen or seventeen...I am only young too but I am mature. I have grown up strong. I can offer you much. I love you. I will always protect you. What do you say...become the wife of a gypsy?'

Panic seized her as she struggled to rise. 'My clothes, where are my clothes? I have to go!' she said frantically, not knowing where to go or how to get there.

'You cannot go!' he told her, 'you are still injured. Stay with me until you are better and if you do not love me by then, I will take you to where I found you!'

As he spoke the words to her he doubted that he would be able to take her back to the coastal town. He frowned, knowing they were hundreds of miles away. He told himself if in one year she had not regained her memory he would try to find her family. Suddenly this thought tore at his heart strings as he longed to hold her in his arms. She turned away from him and felt drowsy again from the drug he had given her before. Her thoughts drifted away into sleep. As he noticed she slept, he took the reins again and followed the troupe until her cries of pain again stopped his travel. He saw a large pond with a rushing current and many old elms along its bank. He pulled his horses to a stop and climbed in beside her.


	3. Chapter 3

Thirteen

His words had not reassured her as a nagging uneasiness hung around her like a feeling of doom. She turned away from him, crying into the pillow, despair her burden to carry as she tried desperately to recall a memory...some knowledge of her past but her mind was blank...wiped clean. Her head was aching again as well as her other pains but from that moment on she refused to take any medicine. She wanted to be aware...she wanted to be lucid even if her body was racked with pain. She needed to know what was happening around her. Her will rebelled against the pain as her stubbourness supported her and she tried to choke back the tears but she did not have the strength of will to do this. She started to cry. She cried for hours, tears of frustration...tears of loneliness as she realised she had no-one...there was no-one to help but the impetuous gypsy who claimed to love her, wanting to make her a wife.

Her tears frightened him so he left her alone, not knowing how to comfort her, not knowing what to say. He decided to catch some fish for dinner and for a long time he sat by the bank of the pond and stared into the water. There were no fish biting that day so Jacob realised he would have to eat the stale biscuits again as that was all he had in his caravan. The other food had gone ahead with the others. He stayed away from her for several hours but then he returned, unable to keep away. They were on their own now. The rest of the troupe had grown impatient and left him beside the pond and gave him instructions to meet up with them the next day in the town. He used what ointment he had in his caravan to tend her wounds and bruises and he bound her wounds again with fresh bandages. The old ones he burnt on the fire that he had lit. He had put his kettle on to make coffee and intended to try to fish again before dark if he was able. He tended to her broken leg and arm, inspecting how the wounds were healing and how the bones felt to his touch. He was gentle not to hurt her but he could see the pain in her eyes. He asked if he could feel her ribs and she nodded her head. Through the shirt he touched her midriff and felt the broken ribs. He was not sure but the inflammation seemed to have receded. He finished caring for her by giving her a fresh shirt to wear and some pantaloons he had borrowed from the other women as he knew she was embarrassed to be half undressed. He turned his back, so she could dress and then he reached for the medicine and tried to give it to her but she shook her head and her mouth stayed stubbournly shut. He watched over her when she slept but beside his loving care, he left her to herself, knowing she needed time to become used to him.

That night he tried to lie down beside her but she pushed him away with her one good arm. She wanted to be alone and he felt sad that she did not want his company and protection. He took his blanket and lay under his caravan and dreamt of her in his arms. That night he heard her scream and he rushed into her. Her fever had returned and her face was on fire. She thrashed on the quilt and he could see the pain in her eyes. He tried to give her more medicine but she knocked the bottle from his hands and it spilt on his quilt. He glared at her in anger but she yelled at him.

'No...it is making me sick. It takes away the pain but it is wrong. What is it? Who gave it to you?'

In between her gasps of pain, Jacob could see the determination on her face and the strength of her character. He had wondered about the medicine also but he had been so worried to see her in pain. He guessed that the medicine was opium or other such drug. He had heard of it.

'The doctor in that town', he answered her.

'The fever is because my body wants more of the medicine. Soon I will need it and go crazy without it.'

He stared at her as fever covered her body in sweat and her clothes were wet. She wondered how she knew such things...knowledge that just came to her mind. She felt too ill to ponder this as she used all her force of will to fight the feelings that consumed her body. Even though she felt as if she was on fire, she refused to allow him to undress her and instead asked him to cool her forehead and give her water.

The day stretched into a night of no sleep, pain and fever. Another dawn came but still the drug withdrawal rent its havoc on her as she cried in agony and her stomach twisted in knots. Jacob swore that he had never seen anyone suffer as much as this frail girl with the raven dark hair and the beautiful brown eyes. As he stared at her thin body drenched with sweat in his old shirt, she did seem as a girl to him. She was now so thin. She had not eaten much since she had been with him. He tried to give her water but every half hour her body shook with tremors as she vomited the yellow, bad smelling bile, the only contents of her stomach. She did not want to drink but he begged her to take regular sips as she still continued to vomit and the dry retching was burning her throat. He held her head and her shoulders as she buried her head in the bucket and as she fell back on the mattress, he wiped her mouth. She stared at him through a hazy vision of pain and the suffering in her eyes almost tore his heart apart. At that moment, he had never known such love could be felt for another. He only left her side to relieve himself and find something to eat as hunger tore into his stomach. As he returned to her side, he saw the tears that traversed her face even though her eyes were shut. Again the vomiting started and she felt hotter than before.

Suddenly, he knew what he must do. He lifted her into arms and negotiated her out of his caravan. And a difficult task it was with her splinted legs and broken arm. He strode to the pond where he had stopped his horses the day before. He felt the water with his hands as he lifted her to the ground and the coolness of the water made him smile. He walked into the pond where the water hurried over rocks and it was fresh and clean. He sat down with her in his arms and he gazed at her as she looked up into his face through her hazy consciousness to realise he had laid himself and her into the water. He sat with his back to the bank as she lay against his chest and the water rushed over them. He splashed the cool water over her face and hair as he sang to her. The day wore on and the afternoon shade of the huge elm tree shaded them from the heat of the sun. He looked into her face as she lay against him, the clean shirt he had given her that day flowing in the water. Her face was pale and she seemed as a water sprite to him. Her long black hair had escaped the plait he had made for her and lay around her, rising and falling in the current like flowing weeds of the pond and the more he stared at her, the more he started to feel that she was not real at all. That she was a faerie from the other realms come to take his heart and steal him from the world of mortals. Since he had first seen her he knew he had been lost and even though he knew she was a woman and a mortal, she had suddenly taken him away from all that he knew and previously loved. He had no thought for others...only her.

The coolness of the water eventually brought down her fever and he worried that she would get too cold. He lifted her and laid her before the fire wrapped in his blanket. He fished again and this time caught two fishes that he gutted and filleted. He pan fried the fish and offered some to her but she would not eat. She was still warm but the fever seemed to be going. He changed his wet clothes and then changed hers, even though she tried to protest. She gazed at him but she could do nothing. She was too weak and although she felt vulnerable she felt safe with him. He had proven to her time and time again that he really cared for her and wanted to help her. She submitted to the removal of her wet clothes and was grateful for the warm blanket and then the dry clothes he put on her. She did not blush as she tried not to look into his eyes. When he had clothed her and she lay down before the fire again, she looked up at him and smiled. She whispered her gratitude and she noticed the look in his eyes which he had tried so hard to mask but the hunger and love were evident and this time she did blush.

She looked away from him to the sun as it started to set. The beauty of the land around her took her attention as she tried to take her mind from the pains that returned to her. She did not want to bother him. He had given her so much and she wanted him to eat. She remembered through her haziness how long he had sat in the water with her and she remembered the coolness and tranquillity of the pond and how the sun had filtered through the trees and the birds had been calling. After the meal, he placed her back into his bed and he sang to her. She drifted to sleep and he felt happy hoping that she was getting better but his hope was destroyed as she woke again suddenly in so much pain she thought she would go mad. She struggled and used all the power of her mind and eventually she felt the pain leave but she was a casualty of the war she had waged.

Her defences were down. She was worn out and she raised her good arm to him as he sat beside her, trying to keep awake. She begged him to hold her and as he put his arms around her, she cried and cried against his chest and his tears joined hers. Eventually, she fell quiet and finally after forty-eight hours of no sleep they both fell asleep in each other's arms. When she woke the intensity of her pain was gone, just aches in the same old places. The fever had left her and she felt cold. She pulled her quilt over them and fell asleep again with her head on his chest. Then it was his turn to wake and the sight of her sweet face in the crook of his shoulder, her hand on his chest and her unsplinted leg entwined with his, brought a fever to his body and love to bloom in his heart.

He did not want to move in case he disturbed her so he lay with her in his arms for a few more hours as he thought over the time he had cared for her. He knew now that she would recover and he was so happy. At one stage she started to stir and he slowly removed his arm and she sighed and rolled over. He noticed that she still slept so he left the caravan and prepared food for them both. He made a fish broth and found some flour in his caravan from which he made a damper on the fire. The sun shone brightly on him and he gathered it would be midday. He poured the soup into a mug and placed pieces of the bread in it and took a spoon. Quietly he sat down beside her and noticed that she was awake staring at him. She looked so pale and thin. He offered her the food but she shook her head. Jacob frowned and lifted her shoulders and rested her against his chest.

'You are going to eat' he said. 'Just a little'.

She sighed but did not fight him. Obediently she opened her mouth to the offered spoon and the soup and bread were warm and filling in her stomach. She managed to eat half of the mug and Jacob was happy with that. He gave her some water, straightened her clothes...brushed her hair and plaited it...fluffed up her pillows and tidied the quilt around her. She smiled at him and he sat back on his haunches gazing at her. The love she saw in his eyes worried her but there was nothing that she could do about it. She still felt so unwell. The pains of agony had gone, the fevers and the intense nausea but the aches still remained and she felt so weak. She tried to sit up but her head felt woosy and she lay back on the pillows. She rolled over and closed her eyes, telling herself that she would sleep for just a little while. She woke two hours later and Jacob had driven the caravan to the next town to met the others.

For another four weeks she lay in his caravan as her leg mended and her elbow and ribs healed. She left the caravan to wash and relieve herself but she kept to herself with only Jacob for company. Sometimes, Ruy came in to talk to her. He brought her some books to read and played cards with her. She did not remember any games but he showed her how to play. Otherwise, she was shy of the other people and she did not want to go among them. As her body healed with the tender care of Jacob, her mind seemed to wander into depression. She smiled and laughed with Jacob and Ruy but when she was alone a hopeless feeling held her and she felt the darkness crowd around her. She felt that she was a burden and that Jacob suffered because of her. She had heard some heated discussions as she guessed that Jacob was taken to task for taking so long to join them and that he was not doing his share of the work as he doted on and looked after her. She did not understand the language they spoke amongst themselves but she felt that they blamed her for taking Jacob away from them. She then realised that after she had been found, especially the first time Victoria had ordered her from Jacob's bed, she had spoken English to her but now when she came among them, many of them spoke a language she had never heard. As she listened to the conversations outside the caravan, she thought she would get Jacob to teach her and then she would not feel so alone.

She was now able to leave the caravan and she guessed that it had been six weeks since Jacob had found her. She remembered the first day she left the caravan. She had told Jacob that she wanted to walk and he frowned at her. He insisted still on carrying her to her obluations and personal requirements and she noticed that many of the troupe's eyes were unfriendly and wary of her. Only Lolita and Jacob's Aunt smiled at her and she saw the judging eyes of the women and the appraising eyes of the men. Jacob watched them also and noted who lusted for her and who were unfriendly. He took a mental note of all around him as he swore that he would keep her for himself. He reassured her and comforted her but a feeling of deep suffocating despair for not knowing who she was filled her mind. That day she did not want to stay outside the caravan long as she asked Jacob to take her back and he did all he could to comfort and cheer her. He was confidently patient that she would love him. But as each day passed, he could not see any love in her eyes only the gratitude she always gave him with her sweet smile.

By the seventh week, Bella was trying to leave the caravan by herself, hoping along on her good leg and one day he watched her as he sharpened his knives. He called her name and was about to come to her but he saw the flare in her eyes and the stubborn tilt of her chin. She had told him the night before that she would be seeing to her own bathing and personal requirements and also she did not want him to sleep beside her anymore. He tried not to watch her but he could not take his eyes away. He saw that she was in pain but she had made it clear that she did not want him to help her. Ruy rushed up to her and Jacob's angst grew. Bella also told the young man that she could manage but he rushed away and brought her a long stick with a shirt at the top for padding and he showed her how to use it to take the weight off her injured leg.

Jealousy raged in Jacob's heart as he wanted to be the only one to help her. He watched her hobble to the river, manage to sit beside the water, wash her hands and face. Slowly she lowered her body in the water fully clothed in the dress he had found her in. He had given her clothes back to her as she was finally feeling well enough to dress herself and she had gratefully washed Jacob's shirt and given it back to him. His eyes followed every movement she made as she washed her hair, lifting her arms above her head and then she sunk below the water and came up like some goddess from the sea, her long hair falling all around her and he had to tear himself away from staring at her. He had turned his back and then he heard a yell and rushed to the water as she had slipped on the bank and fallen back into the river. Pain covered her face and he walked in, clothes and all and lifted her into his arms. From that moment on he convinced her to allow two women to help her with the obulations and even though it frustrated her, she had to agree. She accepted their care as they helped her bathe, washing her hair, combing it and helping her to dress. One morning, Bella walked further than she had before with the aid of Lolita and Rose. She was beginning to like the young women who were not that much younger than her. She felt comfortable with them but with Jacob she had started to feel awkward. Now that she was starting to truly recover and her sharpness of mind had returned she realised that she needed to distance herself from him. Yes, he was handsome and he was kind and she remembered all that he had done for her but his adoration frightened her. She worried now that she was getting better that he would want more than caring and friendship as she knew how he felt about her. He had told her numerous times but more poignant than words, were his looks and the way he touched her arm or her hair. And more than that she knew how her body was starting to react to his. A new fever was taking hold of her and when he put his arms around her, she wanted his lips to kiss hers and thoughts of more intimate things crossed her mind. This made her afraid.

One night, he lay beside the river and could not sleep. He gazed at the stars and tried to think of other things but always his mind came back to her and his gaze travelled to his caravan, imagining her asleep. In his mind he saw every line of her face. He knew every freckle...every eyelash and he remembered the soft curve of her mouth. Frustration claimed him and he knew that he could not go on like this anymore. She was driving him crazy. When she was so ill, she was so helpless, so fragile and such a tragic beauty he could only sit and idolise her. But now she was almost healed. From all the healthy food, the rest and his loving care, her beauty had bloomed. Her eyes shone with vibrant lights, her skin smooth and a healthy pink glow to her cheeks. She had put on some of the weight she had lost as her thinness was gone and her young body was full and curvaceous. In a way he was glad that she had banished him from her side because he would not have been able to control himself and he wanted her to come to him...to love him willingly. He sighed as he stared at the moon and realised that he must be patient. He must court her...make her laugh...have her fall in love with him. As he sighed, he closed his eyes and tried to sleep. He must have drifted off straight away and his waking thoughts had turned into a dream as she lay beside him, her arms wound around him and her lips pressed against him. She boldly caressed him and he groaned. He sought her lips and pulled her to him and she said his name. The voice was rich, with the tilt of a strong accent as words of love and endearment were whispered in his ears. In his dream, he said her name and then she froze in his arms. A hard resounding slap traversed his face as he was bolted from his dream in which Bella had been his lover to stare into the furious face of Victoria.

'How dare you!'

She went to hit him again but he held her arms and threw her to the ground.

'What are you doing in my bed?'

'You wanted me...you kissed me.'

Jacob jumped to his feet and pulled his breeches up and his shirt together. He took his sleeping blanket into his hand and his pillow and strode away from her but she followed him.

'You loved me once, Jacob. It is her. You have been with her all this time. She is your lover now, is she not?'

'No'.

His stance was defiant and his look severe as he gazed at her in the moonlight.

'I was dreaming of her...and you took advantage of me. Keep away from me' Jacob told her and his words tore at her heart.

'You do not love me then...you love her?'

'I said leave me alone...is that the answer you want?'

She grew furious that he would not answer her directly and she stormed at him to slap his face again. As she came close, he took her arms and she tried to throw herself at him. Jacob staggered back with her weight on him and he fell against the caravan, jolting it and waking Bella. She wondered what it was until she heard the raised voices of Jacob and Victoria. They spoke the language that Jacob and Ruy had been teaching her and she was able to understand the basis of the conversation.

'No...I do not love you. I did but she has taken my heart. I want to marry her when she is willing. There can be no other for me now'.

There was silence for a while and then Victoria's voice was low and threatening.

'She is not one of us. She should go back to her own people. Take her back to her own life. You have no right to keep her even if she does not know who she is. If you do not get rid of her...I will'.

'If you harm her...I'

'You will what? Do you forget who my father is? You will be banished if you touch me'.

Jacob stared at her and knew that her threats were valid. Her father was the patriarch of the troupe and Jacob knew that he would be banished but he did not care. He would start his own life with the woman he loved.

'Keep away from her'.

Jacob turned on his heel as if to dismiss her and she stormed away, hate and jealousy searing her heart with a pain that was tangile and real.

Not far away, Bella lay awake and was frightened. Now she had something else to worry about...Victoria! She knew the woman did not like her but now Bella realised her life would be in danger and she cuddled into her quilt and tried to sleep, realising that the gypsy had her in a trap. She could not stay but she could not leave. He would not take her to where he found her as they were on the other side of the country, thousands of miles away. A cage closed around her as the reality of her amnesia struck her to the quick and she started to cry.

Fourteen

Eventually her tears gave way to exhaustion and she slept. But when she woke in the morning she started to cry again. That was how Jacob found her. He asked her what was wrong but she just kept on crying until at the end of the day and he did not know what he could do. He sat beside and tried to take her hand but she pulled away from him. The closeness that he felt he had achieved with her was now gone. She seemed like a stranger and she turned her face from the pillow to stare at him. Her eyes were large and swollen from her tears. The look in her eyes was of a lost soul and he felt weak and powerless. He had tried so much to help her but he knew now that the wounds in her mind were ones he could not heal. He could not make her love him and sadness filled his heart. He took his hand from near her where he tried to carress her again and he put in head in his hands. She turned away from him as she had noticed the sadness in his eyes and she turned her thoughts from herself to him. All her memories of this gypsy, he had only ever been kind and caring. He had done so much for her and she would never forget it but now she knew she could do nothing for him. She knew he wanted more than she could give. She felt his presence still beside her. She knew she should say something to him but she could not find the words to say. She had thanked him before so many times for what he had done but she knew he did not want thanks any more. She knew he wanted her to be his wife but she could not give up the past she did not know. Since her return to health when her mind did not have the pain to focus on anymore, the magnitude of her amnesia struck her with a forced that surprised her. Who was she? Jacob said that she was beautiful. Had someone else loved her? Would someone come to find her? She did not know how. How would he find her? She did not know who she was...where she came from? She struggled to force a memory but there was none. She sobbed with these realisations.

Jacob heard her sobs and he felt his heart breaking. His hand fell on her shoulder and she felt his touch. She did not pull away from him but her sobs became louder. He longed to hold her in his arms but he stalled his impulses. He realised it had been ten weeks since he had found her and he decided he had to let her go. He knew he should take her to where he had found her but he could not as they had travelled thousands of miles while she had returned to almost good health. He decided to distance himself from her as he hated to see her cry and he wanted to put no more pressure on her. He put her in the care of his Aunt but Bella was shy and afraid of the old woman who constantly watched her with black piercing eyes. Eventually her kindness dispelled Bella's fear. She began to enjoy being with the old woman, who taught Bella the gypsy talent of reading the mysteries of the palm. She also pierced Bella's earlobes with large silver earrings and gave her a scarlet scarf to wear in her hair. Adorned with gypsy jewellery, wearing the clothes of the gypsy women, Bella looked like one of them. Her raven hair, her olive skin bequeathed by her German father matched the physical attributes of the bohemian troupe of performers, making most people who saw her, believe she had been born among them. The wound on her forehead had now vanished to a scar of fine lines which disappeared into the furrows of her brow when she frowned. Her vibrant health, her strength had returned and she started to smile again, to laugh.

Patiently Jacob courted her, trying his hardest to make her happy. He serenaded her with his violin...gave her presents then finally on a warm spring day, he approached her at his Aunt's caravan. She looked so beautiful she took his breath away, so much so he had to calm the nerves suffocating him before he could speak. On bended knee, he presented her with a queenly gift, a magnificent emerald necklace. Bella sighed as she opened the lid of the box containing the jewellery.

'Oh! Jacob, this is so beautiful. I cannot accept it.'

The sadness displayed on his face, the heartbroken look made her laugh.

'I implore you, my beautiful Isabella, marry me? This necklace was my mother's wedding gift from my father. It is said to have belonged to an Indian princess. I wish you to have it. Only my wife can wear it...that was my mother's dying wish. Marry me Isabella, I entreat you, before my heart breaks.'

She looked strangely at him, knowing his words were very dramatic but she accepted and had come to know the passion and poetry of this gentle gypsy.

Pensively, she searched her feelings...not knowing about love. Did she love him? She did not know? She had given up hope of ever finding the home she did not know or remember the past which was a hopeless void and she became tired of always thinking about what could not be. She accepted that her life now bound her, holding her captive as she came to the realisation her family were the gypsies. She agreed to marry Jacob. His joy was exuberant when she proudly accepted his emerald necklace.

The next day was a beautiful clear day as he married her beside a river, having brought a preacher from the nearby town. She vowed to herself she would be happy while Jacob vowed to love and protect her, hoping she would grow to love him. Triumphantly, he moved her back into his caravan as Bella settled into her role as gypsy wife. Jacob doted on her, teaching her his skills with the knives but she declined his offer to make her part of his knife throwing act. He taught her how to fight with a dagger and he gave her one of his valuable knives, a small dagger with a ruby encrusted hilt. He told her it was special for it had belonged to his grandfather. He made her a leather pouch, showing her how to strap it to her thigh or hide it in her boot.

Bella enjoyed his company as the friendship which had begun with his patient nursing continued in the role of husband and wife. As the months passed she felt at ease...finally becoming one of them as all the women accepted her...except Victoria, who constantly fumed jealously, hating Bella with a fierce intensity.

An eager pupil of the women, Bella learnt their skills of dancing and fortune telling. Under Jacob's masterful tuition her expertise with the blades increased until she was skilful, especially for one so young.

One night as the full moon slipped behind concealing clouds, Bella and the other women danced for the local townspeople in the light of the fire, enchanting the audience, but most of all Jacob, who watched her with glowing eyes. He loved her so passionately he could not imagine being without her. He was so proud to know that he had been the only man to love her, for she had come to be his as a virgin bride. She examined the feelings she had for him. Love? Was this love? Was she growing to love him?

Suddenly a thought disturbed her as she remembered her dream of the previous night, after Jacob had loved her. She lay in his arms and slept but for the first time...she had dreamt of a man...a tall man of handsome features, tawny brown hair and green eyes. He had kissed her, telling her he loved her.

The vivid recall of her dream worried her. Who was he? Was he from her past? Had she loved another? She frowned as she continued to dance, her body moving automatically to the vibrant music as her mind pondered the meaning of her dream.

'Who is he?' she thought desperately as the guitar and violin finished suddenly and the audience applauded, throwing their coins to the women in appreciation of the entertainment.

Jacob hurried to her, scooping her into his arms, kissing her passionately.

'My Aunt requests you go to her,' he told Bella, wondering the reason for the old lady's summons.

Bella entered the caravan of the gypsy she had grown to love. A smile eased the tension of the moment but the silence continued until Bella questioned, 'You summoned me?'

The old woman sighed, taking Bella's hand in hers.

'No, not my future, Aunt...I do not want to know, I have told you before. For me, there is only the present.'

Her pleas were ignored as the old woman pensively traced the lines on Bella's palm. She remained silent then finally spoke.

'Your life is a brilliant one, my child. You are not meant to be with us. You will be loved by a great man...a man of standing or wealth!'

'I am married to your nephew. You are wrong!'

'No, my child...I am never wrong. You will travel many roads...dark roads, but you will find it...great love. I regret, for I have grown to love you. You are not meant to be here!'

Then, strangely, the old woman grew silent and Bella felt uncomfortable. Mystified by the words she had not wanted to hear, she left the caravan.

Suddenly, she felt ill. She rushed behind the trees to vomit and then she laughed, seeing the irony...she carried Jacob's child...the old woman was wrong! Bella could imagine no other life than of being a gypsy's wife, bearing his children. She sat beside a tree to regain her breath as she wiped the bile from her mouth. The present encompassed her and she realised that without her memory of the past there was no other life for her now. She was Isabella Quilette.

In his arms that night she told him she was going to bear his child. From that moment she completely accepted her fate as she started to know real happiness...to feel at peace with herself, pushing from her mind the fact she had not always been Isabella the gypsy.

The next night she lay beside Jacob in the silent hours, the twilight time between the death of night and the birth of morning. As she gazed at the last dimming stars she thought about being a mother and then she wondered about the grandmother that her child would never know. She frowned as she stared at her body, running her hand across her taut stomach, imagining the huge swelling which would be there in the months to come.

Suddenly she grimaced, rising from the bed, feeling the grip of nausea. She rushed from the caravan to vomit as a cold sweat flooded her body, making her feel faint. Along with the fever came a chill as her head started to swoon. She steadied herself on the side of the caravan.

'Jacob, help me!'

A threatening chuckle sounded behind her. Fearfully, she turned, pushing the hair out of her eyes as she felt for her knife at her thigh.

Victoria held a knife in her hand as Bella's eyes dilated wide with a cold surety of her impending death.

'He cannot help you. You will die...defend yourself, you witch. What spell have you cast on him? He loved me until you suddenly arrived. Your master is the Dark One, and you shall return to him!'

Bella drew her knife as Victoria advanced to commence the fight. Jacob emerged from the caravan, yelling for Victoria to stop but she ignored him, lunging at Bella who defended herself with the expertise she had been taught.

Silently, they stalked each other like ferocious cats but Victoria possessed superior talent, lunging towards Bella, striking her arm, drawing blood, which stained her white shirt crimson as she immediately felt faint.

'Isabella, behind you!' Jacob screamed as Victoria screeched, the madness of unrequited love fuelling her murderous intentions.

'The child inside you will not live!' Victoria threatened, stalking Bella, accelerating her fear. She lunged at Bella again, striking her thigh, sending a serious message of intent.

Jacob tried to break in between the two women but he was held back by his kinsmen.

'It is our way, Jacob, leave them to fight!' the men told him but he rebelled.

'No!' he thundered, adrenaline empowering him as he struck the men, breaking free. He rushed in, placing Bella behind him, his knife drawn.

'Will it be between us then woman?'

Victoria did not answer him as her lips trembled, tears blurring her vision. Her steps faltered. Silence fell as all grouped around the battle of love.

Bella's heart pounded in her chest as she started to swoon, hanging onto Jacob's shirt, afraid she would faint. Her stomach heaved...she wanted to be sick.

Victoria dropped her knife in defeat, turning away.

All started to talk at once as Jacob turned to Bella, binding her wound with his scarf.

Tenderly, he lifted her into his arms but the swift action and the vengeful madness of Victoria rushed at him. Her arm was raised in hatred as revenge tore into her heart.

'If you are not mine, then you are not hers!'

She jumped onto his back, stabbing through into his flesh. Blood poured from his chest as he collapsed on the dirt with Bella beneath him. She screamed, a heart rendering wail as she tried to struggle from under him. Kneeling beside him, she cried.

'My love', he said, his voice faint.

'Jacob, please not do die...you cannot leave me. Jacob, no!'

Bella sobbed and then she turned to Victoria.

'You killed him, you whore!'

Victoria was taken and bound, guilty of a serious crime under gypsy law.

Bella collapsed beside Jacob's body, crying until her cries were ragged breaths of despair and her throat felt as if it had been torn out. She heaved, wanting to vomit as hot flushes scorched her with fire. Suddenly she felt cold, so cold her limbs were shaking. She tried to move her legs but her limbs were so numb she could not move.

She stared vacantly into the distance, rubbing his forehead, pretending he only slept. Shock held her as an arm pulled her up, helping her to her feet.

'Get up, Isabella. Come on, girl. Lay down in his caravan. I will take care of you now.' The gentle voice of Jacob's Aunt was comforting but could not dispel the gaping loss filling Bella's life now the smiling, tender gypsy who had loved her was dead.

She stumbled to Jacob's caravan, pulling her shawl around her as she began to shiver. She stared at the blood over her. Was it hers...or was it his? Her mind became a whirlpool of confusion as she tried to come to terms with reality...Jacob was dead...Victoria had killed him!

Vacantly, she stared into nothing...seeing him in her mind's eye...his joyful smile...his tender caress...his boyish charm. She disbelieved that with one stroke of a knife all was taken from her. Her life gone...her life destroyed. What would happen to her now?

Listlessly she fell to the bed and cried amongst the soft quilt and pillows until her tears became desperate, tearing sobs of agony. Eventually, her tears disappeared and she grew quiet. She felt numb as she rose to stare at his caravan and his possessions.

Suddenly, determination surfaced as her survival instinct took control and she gathered her few possessions together...the clothes Jacob had given her and the clothes she had been wearing when Jacob had found her. She held the emerald necklace she had worn on her wedding day in her hand as she denied the tears wanting to rage as a torrent. She wrapped her wedding gift in a scarf and hid it inside her waist band and placed the other presents he had given her in a small bag...the tortoise shell hair combs and the brush for her hair. From the hiding place, she took the money Jacob had been saving for them...to eventually buy some land...to have a real home.

A lump formed in her throat and she gulped away her fears and a fresh cascade of tears as she wearily parted the caravan curtains, peering outside. The camp was quiet and she noticed Jacob's body was covered with a blanket. Fearfully, she approached him, kneeling beside him, lifting the blanket to stare at him. Sobbing, she stared at his ashen face, the handsome kind face she had grown to love. His eyes were shut and she kissed his still warm lips as she said her farewells.

Noticing the dagger he had given her laying in the dirt beside his body, she took it possessively into her hand, staring at it. As she stood up on shaking legs, she strapped the dagger to her thigh, wiping away her last tear as she drew on her reserves of self control to deal with the situation before her.

A horse whinnied loudly and she hurried to Jacob's horses, knowing her avenue of escape. The horse was saddled swiftly...expertly as she became oblivious to the pains in her arm and thigh from the wounds still open and weeping. She mounted the animal, an instinct pushing her onward, willing her to leave the gypsy camp.

Elation filled her being as the wind picked up her hair and the horse sped across the ground. She remembered Jacob had told her their destination was the next town to the east. Desperately she hoped she was going in the right direction.

In rapid succession, her thoughts raced through her mind as she wondered how she would find the home she did not know and the man who had loved her. Would he still love her knowing she carried another man's child?

Tears fell from her eyes as she knew she did not know where to go but through her pain she could see light in the distance as she knew she had money and the means to find out the life stolen from her. She smiled with a glimmer of happiness in the tragedy until the sounds of gunfire startled her. She pulled the horse to a stop. Disbelieving, she stared back to the troupe of performers, witnessing their deaths as a group of bandits fell mercilessly on them. She raced like the wind until the screams grew faint.

Wildly, loudly, her heart pounded...louder, deafening in her ears. She screamed as the bandit swooped down, circling her waist, pulling her onto his horse. He laughed, an evil peel of mirth as Bella cried, wishing she had died with the gypsies.

Fifteen

Bella's stomach heaved with the nauseating regularity of the uneasy gait of the horse. She cried as a throbbing headache held her mind in agony. Faintness claimed her several times due to the loss of her blood which ran down her legs and arms, staining, drying in the heat of the afternoon sun.

Like a crawling, seething monster, spasms of nausea crept upon her, twisting her stomach in knots. Her life with Jacob seemed as a fairy tale now and she cried for him, for the sweetness of love he had given her.

Suddenly, the bandit pulled his horse to a jolting stop, jumping from the saddle, pulling Bella off with him. She fell roughly to the ground, bruising her knees, scratching her hands. A sly smile crossed her lips as she felt the knife Jacob had given her.

The bandit came for her, his lopsided mouth grimacing in evil intent as he pulled her to her feet.

'No!' she screamed but he ignored her, tearing her blood soaked blouse, as she desperately sought her implement of defence. From the thin leather tied securely around her left thigh, she removed the gypsy dagger, striking wildly through his shoulder, intending to kill. He stared, disbelieving he had been wounded as Bella took the opportunity to seize the advantage, aiming a damaging blow to the bandit's groin, sending him rolling on the ground clutching his testicles, screaming in pain.

She held her dagger in her hand as she swiftly mounted the horse, kicking him into motion but the pursuit was hot on her heels as the remaining bandits thundered behind her, yelling and drawing their pistols, aiming...shooting. Miraculously, she dodged the flying bullets and could not believe her luck as they whistled past her but her freedom ended.

The leader of the bandits lassoed her around her waist, jerking her from the saddle. The fall winded her as she lay on the rough rocks and tried to regain her breath. Severe pain shot up her arm as she tried to move it and she feared that her arm had been broken but she managed to gather her wits, holding her small dagger before her but her meagre defence could not save her.

Angry and vengeful, the men fell on her, beating her, kicking her...seizing her only weapon and taking all her possessions, even her emeralds. She was thrown roughly across the leader's saddle, her hands and feet tied together. She screamed at them that her arm was broken but they only laughed and ignored her. Tears of frustration fell at the failure of her escape as she struggled not to lose consciousness as the pain became unbearable.

Her mind wandered...then finally, mercifully, she fainted. Her respite from the agony was not long as she abruptly woke as the horses stopped suddenly. The sounds of angry voices were raised in warning. Shots were fired as Bella struggled to see, craning her head sideways.

The sight meeting her eyes chilled her soul as she turned her head away. Sounds of people dying assaulted her ears and she cried, not knowing how she could help them. She heard the screams of a child as her eyes were drawn to the scene of murder. The child ran...she stumbled, desperately trying to escape the monster that swooped on her, cutting her throat.

A woman, hysterical with grief, ran from behind the building, striking the bandit with a shovel but her effort was in vain as his partner rushed forward, knocking the woman to the ground, pinning her down. Desperately, she screamed for her husband to save her but he was already dead.

Agony of mind held Bella as she tried desperately to block the heart rendering cries flooding her mind, lodging in her memory. She despaired of never being able to forget this day. She tried to free her hands, to cover her ears but the bandits came to her, pulling her from the horse, throwing her into the stable for the night and she fainted as her broken arm hit the floor of the stable.

Like kings of mayhem and plunder, they took possession of the murdered settler's home, destroying their property...searching for valuables...eating their provisions.

When she woke, she did not know how long it had been but there was no respite from the agony of body and mind that claimed her. Bella cried until the sheer effort of her tears exhausted her and she slept cradled in the hay.

The animals watched her as she groaned in her sleep. A horse whinnied loudly and she jumped, startled. Clutching hunger and nausea gripped her stomach as she vomited. She gazed at the binds on her hands and feet, knowing she would not survive long like this. She managed to rise to her feet and luckily she found a pruning tool and cut the ropes that held her prisoner. Then she searched the stable for something to eat and drink. Stale, dry corn was most unpalatable but Bella tried to eat it, managing to swallow a few kernels and a few drops of water.

She knew she must do something about her arm and as she inspected where it hurt, she did not think the break was too serious. She ripped material from her petticoats to bandage her arm as she hoped this would help the healing process. Wishing she had some of her Aunt's herbal remedies, she drew on what the old gypsy had told her.

Bella thought of the fortune telling of a great love. This knowledge gave her the courage to hold on as she realised that this time of agony would one day be over. Exhausted from her efforts to bandage her arm, she lay in the hay, closing her eyes. She tried to be strong as pain became her existence but eventually sleep claimed her but the nightmare was almost as bad as the reality.

'Mother, Mother...help me!' she whispered, seeing a woman in her dream, holding her arms open to her.

'Where am I Mother? Can I come home?' The plea was pitiful, a heart rendering, plaintive cry but for Bella her reality continued in her dream state as her mother vanished to be replaced by the bandits.

'You have no mother!' they yelled abusively as they pulled her to them, cruelly ripping her clothes.

'No, no!' she screamed, jolted from her nightmare.

She decided then she must try to escape. She knew her horse was tied up with the others in front of the ranchers' homestead and she had to go...now. As she rose to her feet, a stabbing pain of agony careered through her stomach and she doubled over. The paleness of the waning moon shone upon her through the barn window and she stared incredulously at the dark stain covering her undergarments as she haemorrhaged, losing the baby Jacob had given her. Her escape plan was put on hold until the first light of morning as spasmodic knife edge agony expelled all remnants of the child of the gypsy from her womb.

The light of morning started to stream through the cracks in the timber of the barn as she painfully rose to her feet and sought the horse which would give her freedom. She managed to lift herself onto the animal and started to turn its head to the west when a gunshot rang out and she left a sharp pain in her left shoulder. Slumping over the saddle, she cried, realising they had shot her. She was ripped from the horse's back and thrown to the hard earth. She cursed in all manner of gypsy cursing she knew but they only laughed as they pulled her to her feet. She struck out with her pruning tool, gashing a long wound on the leader's face. Holding the weapon before her, she screamed.

'I will kill you!' she yelled as they laughed.

They all fell on her, beating her and taking her weapon. She thought they meant to rape her and she screamed as she remembered her recent dream.

'No!'

Desperation making her brave, she lunged at the leader again, slashing his face with her long nails, drawing his blood. He struck back wildly with his knife but she ducked, missing the full force of his weapon, which had sliced a fine cut along her neck.

Clutching her shoulder painfully he spun her around, holding his gun to her head.

'Yes, yes...kill me, kill me!' she pleaded. 'You have taken my child with your brutality and killed the only family I have. I have nothing left...kill me!'

Her begging was insanely irrational as she struggled to cope with the situation. His finger hesitated on the trigger, then it moved as her head recoiled expecting the death blow. The bandit cursed as he reloaded his weapon but the intended murder was stalled with a suggestion.

'We ought to sell her, boss. She be no use to us. Damaged goods now, look at her! Diamond Gully's down the track. The old Madam there, she'll buy her...or we'll make her!'

They all laughed at the words of the youngest bandit as they mounted their horses, tying Bella securely again, throwing her over the horse. Her mind struggled with the paradox of her life.

She wanted to die but then, she wanted to live. She did not want to suffer anymore but she could see no end to this torment. Would it never end? Sell...they were going to sell her...to whom? She wanted to cry but she had no tears left to shed. Her feelings became a dry well of indifference as she closed her eyes, wishing for the peace of unconsciousness. This blessing was not afforded her as the ride became more agonising as the day just past. Her injuries were so numerous, she was alive with pain. She wondered if the bullet was still in her shoulder, she did not know...but one thing she did know...she refused to die. Now she wanted to live. She wanted revenge.

Her mind wandered, slipping from reality. She knew she had to escape. The terrifying implications of slavery haunted her mind as she remembered the African slaves she had seen working in the cotton fields. In her mind she heard Jacob's voice telling her of their sufferings and their torture being bonded to white men. When he had told her, she had cried for the men and women wishing for their liberation. Now she could not imagine herself in the same situation and she forced the brimming tears from her eyes, imagining her escape and becoming arrogantly rebellious.

To take her mind from the agony Bella fantasized of the luxurious life she would lead, the beautiful home she would own and the children she would have. She even imagined the husband who would love and protect her. Ironically, she laughed, for she had imagined the man from her dream. Who was he? Why could she not remember him when she was awake? Strangely, his face appeared distinctly before her mind's eye as if he was standing before her and she thought it peculiar she had remembered every detail of his handsomeness. Who was he? Where was he? Where had she lived the life she did not know?

Suddenly forcing reality upon her the bandits swooped into the dusty, gold mining town. The frightened townspeople scattered in all directions as the dust flew and the devil's soldiers pulled up in a whirl of intended mayhem before the saloon and the whorehouse, 'Madam Angela's Pleasure Palace'.

Bella stared around her at the old derelict buildings and the people who peered at her from their secure positions behind doors and windows. Her heart fell, knowing no-one came forth to save her...no-one cared.

She was painfully pulled from the saddle and she fell to the hard earth as the rocks cut her back and legs. Pain throbbed through her arm and shoulder, as well as the cuts from Victoria's knife which started to bleed again. The world whirled before her as she started to swoon.

'Get up!' the leader yelled, yanking her arm, pushing her before him up the steps to the bordello. Her vision wavered as a sea of hazy, blurred images formed before her eyes.

The door was kicked open as a tall dark-skinned man hurried to see the cause of the disturbance but became afraid at the brandished weapons, the menacing snarl and eyes rimmed with cruelty.

The bandit threateningly forced the weapon into the man's mouth, convincing him that he must call the owner of the establishment.

Angela de Bruen moved her cumbersome body as quickly as she could, annoyed to see the injured woman lying on her expensive floor coverings. Angela was shocked to see the extent of the young woman's injuries which bled, staining the Persian carpets and she became angry.

Crude words of the bargain chilled Bella's soul as she forced herself from the pulling magnetism of unconsciousness to listen to the intended sale of her body.

'You want me to buy her?' Angela's voice whined and then she laughed. 'She is damaged goods. I only buy the best girls. Get her out of here!'

His gait was threatening...his attitude intimidating as he moved towards the Madam of the bordello.

Angela stood her ground, trying not to show her fear but the sweat on her brow and the shaking of her hands betrayed her.

'You will give me two hundred dollars for her, now!' the leader demanded.

'You are jesting!' Angela told him, standing her ground against the threat.

The huge, filthy moustache stretched across his snarling lips as he aimed his weapon at Angela's corseted abdomen.

'Eli, take the woman and bring the cash!' she told her servant as he stared at the young woman.

The slave lifted Bella into his arms as her head lolled against his chest and she cried with pain. She was tiny in his huge arms and he was shocked to see all the injuries on her body. Gently he laid her on a bed in the spare room as he asked his woman to prepare a bath for her and call the doctor. With a departing gaze of empathy he left the room, hurrying to carry out the orders of his mistress.


	4. Chapter 4

The agony of abuse lingered with Bella...seething, crawling disgust threatening to claim her sanity as she wished the memories to be buried in a deep, dark corner of her mind, never to be remembered. She had suffered so much pain in the last day her mind seemed to have become numb to the injuries she had sustained. She lapsed into a fitful state of semi-consciousness hearing the maid preparing the bath.

Startled, Bella woke as the woman shook her and told her to undress and climb into the warm soapy water. Slowly, she unwound the bandage on her arm and the woman gasped to see the extent of Bella's wounds as she removed the clothes from her body. She ignored the woman's questions and cries of disbelief as she climbed into the water.

The bath was warm and her wounds stung but she sunk beneath the water as her mind lapsed into a state of numbness, not feeling, not thinking...only being. She was beneath the water so long, the slave named Maree became afraid and she tried to pull Bella to the surface of the water. Bella screamed, then told the maid to leave her alone.

'Forgive me!' the woman said. 'I thought you wanted to drown yourself and the mistress will beat me if anything happened to you!' The indifferent look worried Maree and she tried to smile reassurance.

'Leave me!' Bella yelled, as tears began to well behind her closed eyes. Anguish for the loss of Jacob filled her mind with longing for the past and despair for the present. The waterfall of hurt eventually burst forth as a dam breached and the servant felt uncomfortable, not knowing how to help.

'Do not cry anymore. I will help you. Do not be afraid!' the woman, Maree said kindly.

'I am her slave?' Bella had to ask.

'Yes you are, as my man Eli and I. Several of the women here are slaves also. She bought us at the slave markets of Carolina. We all belong to Angela except for Velvet and she just stays cause she's got nowhere else to go.'

Bella's look was stubborn, her lips pouting, her eyes and attitude full of defiance as she shook her head, denying she could be anyone's slave.

Maree started to tidy the room, knowing this new slave of Angela would have a hard life if she continued with her resistance.

'What is your name?' Maree asked suddenly, startling Bella who stared into the water, thinking of Jacob.

'I was called 'Isabella'. I do not remember my name.' Then she fell silent, not wanting to continue the conversation, only staring absently at her arm and the scarf Jacob had tied there. Her eyes misted to tears again as she gently pried the blood soaked scarf from her wound, holding it to her heart, vowing to keep it always. A knock at the door startled Bella and Maree opened it to see the doctor.

In Angela's private rooms, Eli hurriedly searched for the cash tin, eager for the bandits to be gone. He heard voices rise in anger as he put the cash tin under his arm, and on impulse, he took Angela's revolver.

Shots were being fired as a war began in the foyer of the brothel. Eli advanced into the melee, keeping cover behind the curtained doorway. He dropped the cash tin, aiming the weapon as he surveyed the battle.

Two of the bandits had taken bullets and lay still on the floor. One of the deputies was dead, the other wounded and only the Sheriff took on the leader of the bandits and his companion. Bullets ricocheted around the room as Angela hid in terror.

Fear invaded Eli's mind as he knew he had to act and he took aim, taking the bandit leader in his sights...shooting...one bullet through the head...one bullet in the chest. The murderer fell, cursing as he died holding a small, jewelled dagger he had intended throwing. The survivor of the troupe escaped out the door as the Sheriff hurried after him.

Eli struggled to breathe and desperately, he gasped, trying to calm his nerves. He dropped the gun as all turned to gaze at him. He became afraid, knowing a black man was not allowed to use a weapon. He ran from the room, leaving the revolver on the floor, not knowing the whereabouts of the cash tin which had disappeared during the shootout.

Fear moved his large frame as he hurried to see Maree and Bella who looked frightened as he opened the door. The doctor also appeared to be worried as he continued to put a cast on Bella's broken arm. Eli could see that her bullet wound and other wounds had been bandaged.

Bella could not speak as fear constricted her throat. The need to escape became a forceful urge as the doctor finished his work and left the bordello.

'I have to get out of here!' Bella said loudly, speaking her thoughts as she wrapped the dressing gown lighter around her.

'Be quiet!' Maree cautioned, alerting Bella to the approaching Madam. The door burst open. Angela was angry and demanding.

'Is she clean now?' the Madam addressed Maree, taking the servant's curtsey and smile as an affirmative answer. Cold, calculating scrutiny surveyed Bella as she hugged the garment around her body. She shivered with revulsion and winced with pain as the Madam tore the garment from her shoulders. Bella met the eyes of her owner with defiance.

'You will need to rest awhile, then you will work!' Angela told Bella, who mentally refused to do anything, except escape.

Angela's look was appreciative as she inspected Bella who almost fainted with disgust as she stood naked before them all.

'You are a beauty under all those wounds and bruises. Yes, I am sure you will earn a fortune,' Angela said, finally pleased with her new acquisition.

'You owe me, girl...two hundred dollars plus your room and keep. You may be free in, say, five years if you work hard. Now, you have to eat and rest! Bring her clothes and food then show her to her quarters beside the kitchen!'

Bella fumed silently, pulling the garment around her. Anxiously, she waited to be alone with Maree as the Madam left with Eli following behind her. Bella's gaze travelled to Maree who cleaned up the water on the floor.

'I must escape. Can you help me?' Bella's plea begged for allegiance, not considering a betrayal. Her eyes were dilated with fear and loathing as she silently continued to plead for help however the sweet, innocent face of servitude held a look of shock and the shaking of her head, a brutal denial of assistance.

Bella snarled at Maree and gave the gypsy sign of cursing as she spoke vehemently under her breath so only Maree could hear.

'I will escape!'

Sixteen

Escape! How hard she had tried in the first few weeks even though she still was not healed from her injuries. She ran. She hid...anywhere but Angela's strong bodyguards always found her and dragged her back to confront the temper of her owner.

Bella became suspicious when the guards always knew where she was hiding and she realised that Angela held the town in her evil grasp. She had spies everywhere ready to sell their information and Bella knew she had no friends...no-one to trust.

She felt so alone, so afraid. Her personal possessions...the dagger of Jacob, the emerald jewellery and the golden wedding band he had given her for their wedding and a silver bracelet she had been wearing when Jacob had found her were gone...the bandits had taken them all...even her tortoise shell combs and Bella often cried when she was alone, frustrated and furious to know all the possessions she loved were gone. She only had the blood stained scarf of Jacob which she wore close to her heart, vowing never to be parted from it.

Suspicion held her mind as she believed Angela may have taken her belongings from the dead bandits and kept them and, not knowing Maree, she also suspected her.

Another attempt at escaping failed and she had been dragged back and her dress was ripped from her shoulders as the whip fell mercilessly on her flesh opening her old wounds. She tried to distance herself from the pain and she refused to cry.

Alone with her the guards tried to abuse her but Bella fought back until Eli intervened in time and informed the Madam. Then she had been chained to her bed where she had cried for days.

Pity for her overwhelmed Eli as he remembered the whip and he wished to help her, any way he could. He entered her room one afternoon and she cringed away from him. Hunted brown eyes so dark they were almost jet, in a face of white pallor stared at him. He told her she could trust him and she asked him about her possessions...she cursed when he told her that the Madam had them but Eli promised to help her but she did not believe him. He was a slave also, what could he do?

Despite her wounds, the Madam still made her work in the kitchen and Bella was amazed that she knew how to cook pies, bread and pastries. Eventually her arm healed and the doctor removed the cast and her bullet wound became a round scar. The scars on her body remained but more seriously, the scars in her mind intensified. Depression held her in dark suspension, engulfing any positive thoughts she had tried to cling to before.

One afternoon, while all rested, Eli saw her throw herself from the top of the winding staircase, determined to bring a jolt to her memory. She had not thought of the pain. All she could think of was a return of her memory but instead she was bruised, her ankle broken.

Her failed attempt intensified her dark moods as she wrestled with thoughts of suicide. Eli found her one morning, her attempt almost successful as her crimson blood surrounded her, her wrists slashed with a kitchen knife. Deep was the surging of pity from within his heart. He held her and bound her wounds then lectured her about trying to take her own life. Her eyes misted to tears and then she cried, all the pain and frustration bubbling to the surface, spilling out, bringing a certain quiet and solitude.

Deep remorse and shame filled her mind and she asked Eli what she should do. He told her to pray to ask for God to help her. His words gave her hope and he assured her he was her friend, her brother and he would care for her.

Lovingly, he nursed her, pulling her from the realm of insanity threatening to take her. After weeks of tender care and special time spent, talking and singing, accompanied by Maree on her guitar, Bella's youthful glow of health returned. She was learning to play the guitar and the duo of Eli and Maree tried everything they could to occupy her mind.

As the months passed all the wounds on her body were healed but the searing wounds of her mind were still there, tucked away but not gone. Warmed by the healing love of her friends, all thoughts of suicide left her but she always felt ashamed of her deepest moment of darkness. She gratefully accepted their care...her comrades in slavery. Often she thought of the words of the old gypsy and she realised she travelled the dark road...and a glimmer of hope...the words spoken of a great love and happiness held her together. Constant prayer helped her...to bring her calm and peace as she realised God was her friend and that He loved her.

One day, Eli invited Bella to a game of chess. At first she did not want to play and refused but then she had picked up a marble piece, the King and rolled the piece between her fingers and almost screamed with delight.

'Eli, I remember this game. How strange, I can remember how to play this game and nothing else!'

Her joy changed to tears as she tried to remember. Who taught her to play this game? No images formed in her mind and she cried again. He comforted her, telling her to play and she played, so proficiently she surprised Eli, beating him. After the game, she fell silent again, desperately trying to remember but her burden was disappointment, her mind locked.

During those weeks Angela grew more impatient wishing to have Bella become the star attraction at the 'Pleasure Palace'. One Saturday afternoon, as Bella sat in the kitchen, staring at the brilliance of the setting sun over the prairie, Angela approached her demanding to see her privately in her rooms.

Bella felt the chill of her soul and the dread in her heart rose to choke her with rebellion. She was forced to listen to Angela's words...words which sent a rush of fear, a mind warping terror along her nerves, making her legs shake as anxiety controlled her.

'I will wait no longer, Isabella. You will start work tonight. You have had long enough to recover...too long in fact. You are healed. You are certainly beautiful. Some of my customers have seen you and they want you. They wanted to know if you are a working girl or a kitchen hand. I assured them you are a working girl and they are coming tonight to have you!'

Bella's skin paled, her hands shook and she begged to be allowed to continue her work in the kitchen. The iron lady laughed.

'I can read their fortunes!' Bella suggested but Angela had laughed again, mentioning the fortune she knew her customers would seek.

'Can I dance then?' the plea was desperate.

The Madam's calculating smile worried Bella who felt ill. 'You are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen in this miserable town and you will be the most desired. Yes, you can dance but you must work like my other girls. I will abide no argument!'

Tears welled in Bella's eyes and then overflowed as the words came in a rush. 'I cannot be a whore. I beg you, Angela. Just let me dance!'

'What money shall you earn for me, dancing? The men will not pay to watch your dance but they will enjoy the display nonetheless. Yes, you can dance but you must service my customers!'

No concessions were given, only orders...orders containing implications of abuse.

Bella's lips trembled, her legs shook as she angrily denied the tears starting to run freely over her cheeks again. Desperately she sought alternatives and compromises to interest the Madam.

'I have rich relatives,' Bella lied. 'They will pay a fortune to have me back. Just let me go and I will see you are paid!'

The pale Nordic blue eyes squinted and then she laughed...a huge belly laugh, making Bella feel foolish and vulnerable...her lies exposed.

'Do you think I am stupid?' the brothel owner asked. 'I know you have lost your memory. Did you think you could hide that fact from me? You do not even know your name, let alone, your 'rich' relatives. No, Isabella you are mine and you will do as I say!'

Bella's eyes glared with hatred but all the self-control she had suppressed the fiery temper inherited from her German father. Her rage simmered and bubbled, cleverly kept in control as she knew she must outmanoeuvre the old woman. She hated her more than she thought it possible to hate someone but she did. She clenched her hands at her sides so tightly she dug her nails into her palms until they hurt. She thought of revenge...she thought of smashing her fist into the over fat, wrinkled face painted grotesque colors. Eventually her angst was replaced by a sweet smile.

'I have a proposition for you. Eli tells me I am a champion at chess. I will dance, then...the men could compete with me...for me!'

She wanted to cry, to scream...to run away...somewhere, anywhere to start a new life...a life of decency. She needed to cry but her pride became a masterful barrier, holding her tears in check. She took a deep breath, battling with the waves of nausea seething in her stomach.

'For me...for me!' the words echoed in her mind, the terror engulfing her...her last card played, her only chance being she was too skilful at the game as Eli had assured her. Bella struggled to control her powerful emotions. She wanted to scream, to run...to attack Angela demanding her possessions back and most of all...her life. The implications of being a slave to another human seared her soul with distaste and she longed for freedom.

Bella could not look at the Madam and silence reigned, being the answer to her proposition. Summoning all the bravery in her heart, Bella looked up and a cold ice blue stare met her eyes, sending a shudder down her spine.

'Well?' Bella asked, trying to suppress the demanding tone from her voice.

The smile was reluctant, the icy blue stare calculating and then Angela spoke.

'A good idea, Isabella. If you win, the men will become more eager but the stakes must be high. All night, Isabella. That is the prize...the winner will have all night!'

Bella gripped the arms of the chair as her senses reeled and she almost fainted. All the hands that had touched her with evil intent filled her mind with terror and revulsion. She did not see the Madam but relived the violence of the bandits and the abuse of the guards. She silently made a vow to defend herself if anyone tried to hurt her again. Her mind rebelled against the Madam's abusive proposal.

'I will not do it!' Bella firmly refused. 'I cannot do it. You cannot make me do it. I will kill myself and you!'

The laugh was long and cynical. The ice blue eyes grew as dark as sapphires as Angela stood to her feet.

'You will do as I say!' she threatened. 'I have been patient with you Isabella...more than you have deserved. It has been months since you came here and you have convalesced enough. You have been eating and sleeping under my roof and what payment have I received?'

'What payment? How dare you! I have been working, cooking, cleaning. From morning till night I have been slaving in that kitchen! What of my possessions? My silver bracelet, my combs, my emeralds, my ring and my dagger? You have stolen them from me and you have the audacity to say, I have paid you nothing!'

Bella's temper flared as she verbally attacked Angela but Bella had met her match.

'What jewels? What dagger? I have nothing belonging to you! Tonight you will start to repay your debt to me. I saved you from the bandits. You owe me your life!'

'Lies...all lies!' Bella thought for she knew Eli had saved them all that day and her hatred for the woman tossed like a churning sea as Bella suddenly longed for a weapon to kill. She felt cornered and irrational, seeing no way out of her predicament. Missing the dagger of her dead husband she urgently longed for it now. She had contemplated this thought so many times and had even searched the kitchen for a knife worthy of the deed but always an unseen force had stilled her actions...a quiet voice had whispered in her ear to find peace, to know calm...not to take a life. Then, as now, the voice spoke to her, telling her to have faith. Silently she sat in the chair, pondering the voice...was it her mind, or her conscious or unseen help from the heavens above? She remembered the spirituality and faith of the gypsies and she wondered if God was trying to help her.

Bravery fuelled Bella's spirit as she faced the Madam and challenged her with her eyes. Her look was dangerous.

'Do not threaten me again, girl! You will never better me, Isabella. You are no match for me. Do you think you can compete with me? You will do as I say or I will sell you to the markets in Carolina.'

Bella gasped with shock as these words were spoken.

'I shall fetch a mighty price for you. More than you are worth. I will tell them your father was an African prince and your mother from Europe. Your hair and skin are dark enough for you to pass as a half breed. They will believe me, and anyway, the trader is my friend...from him I purchase my help and most of my girls. Do you want me to sell you to him, hey? To be paraded naked in front of many, many buyers...who knows where you will end up. No, stay with me, girl. Believe me, this is a better life!'

The words were abusive, threatening and had the desired effect as Bella shivered, regretting her outburst of before knowing she was being too transparent. Instantly, her look changed as a mask hid the truth and the lies were spoken.

'You win Angela...I will do as you ask!' The smile of Bella was a charade, a sweet, sickly grimace, hiding the despair and frustration kept in abeyance.

'I will go now!' she said, rising from her chair, needing to flee from the calculating eyes of enterprise.

'Not so fast, I have not finished. You will still service my customers...one per night...that is all. Is that suitable to your tender sensibilities?' The sarcasm was thick and abusive.

The words froze in Bella's throat as she hung her head in anguish, her posture being mistaken for acquiescence.

'Well?' the demanding word was spoken, chilling Bella's heart as a nod of her head replaced the words she could not speak.

The tears fell silently but were observed by the brothel owner, bringing an unexpected and unusual surge of pity. Her sharp heeled shoes echoed shrilly on the time worn ceramic tiles and her long fingernails sought the softness of Bella's chin.

'I will be kind to you, Isabella. The customer can be of your choosing...my, I am good to you, am I not?' Angela said, presenting the act of forced prostitution as a wonderful gift.

Bella tried not to grind her teeth, clenching her hands so tightly, her fingernails dug into the palms of her hands.

'Look at you. You are a mess. You wish to attract the young, handsome ones, do you not? Well, this will not do, leave it to me, Isabella...now come and rest,' Angela demanded, pulling Bella to her feet. She led her through a door, pointing to the huge four poster bed.

'You will lie down here to sleep. Later, I will bring your apparel for the evening but I am warning you, girl, for the last time, there is no escape. You can never escape me. Remember that!' Her voice crackled demandingly, revelling in the surge of her power...her control. She stroked Bella's ebony hair.

'Count yourself lucky. You are honoured to be able to sleep in my bed!' the voice continued, intently advising Bella of her good fortune.

The words fell short of Bella's ears, dismissed and unwanted. She rebelled as she watched the Madam abruptly leave the room. Bella hurried to the locked, barred windows, banging her hands against them...then she tried the locked door. Her mind whirled, slipping from reality as her terrifying memories of her abusers came alive in the room with her, assaulting...terrorising...beating her. She screamed and ran, hiding behind the wardrobe.

Eli heard her, rushed to her but Angela stopped him.

'Leave her...there is nothing you can do for her. She is mine and she will work tonight. She is fighting it but she will give up!'

Frowning with annoyance Angela walked away but Eli stayed at the locked door. Sorrow and pain filled the kind slave's heart as the screams became sobs.

Exhaustion filled Bella's mind and body with a lassitude so strong she lay down on the bed and fell immediately asleep.

He stood at the door, anxiety controlling his thoughts, as he imagined she was hurt or she had hurt herself again. Eli rushed to the Madam, telling her of his fear for Bella's safety. Begrudgingly, she handed him the keys and he quickly returned, turning the key in the lock. Silently, he crept in and his heart jumped erratically when he noticed the blood on the bed linen.

She lay across the bed, still as a corpse and he rushed to her. He disbelieved she had tried to hurt herself again. Her blood smeared fingers clutched the quilt and he observed her pale face, as white as a mask of death. The slow, regular breathing gladdened him...she was alive!

'Oh! Isabella...my girl, what shall become of you!' he said aloud but his words fell on sleeping ears.

Oblivious to his caring, Bella lay in the deepest of sleeps...a face appeared...kind, handsome, a face she knew but then it disappeared, then returned, whispering words, words of love, words of reassurance. He held her, lifting her into his arms...his strength enfolding her in safety. The warmth of his smile and the softness of his kiss brought peace to her heart. He whispered her name, so softly, she could not hear it.

'Who am I?' she spoke audibly in her dream, softly, so softly Eli could hardly hear her words.

Gently, he wrapped the quilt around her, wishing to flee with her...to save her but he could not and his helplessness irritated him. Pity filled his heart for her, for the suffering she had experienced. She was so young, so fragile. He had suffered but he was a man...he could endure.

Pensively, he thought of the past, remembering his homeland where he had been the son of a king...sold, transported across the sea and forced to learn the language of his captors to survive as he had worked tirelessly in the cotton fields. Now, five years later he was still a slave but he dreamt of freedom...one day, he knew he would be a free man. He kept his dream alive...cherished in his heart and now his dream included Bella...he wished freedom for her also as his heart was breaking witnessing the struggling of her spirit. He watched her as she slept, rubbing his hand across her forehead and she smiled in her dream. Her smile was sweet, loving and, as she spoke again, he drew close to her to hear her words.

'Love, do you know me? Where are you? Who am I?'

As Eli gazed at her, he pondered how he could help her and suddenly, he thought of her possessions. Hurriedly, he looked through the Madam's drawers but they were not there. His eyes rested on a locked drawer and he tried the keys. Searching through the drawer he found all Isabella's possessions. He saw her bracelet, the tortoise shell combs, the dagger, the emeralds and a golden ring. Eli sighed as he held it between his fingers, knowing it must have been her wedding band...the ring of commitment the gypsy had given her.

He turned suddenly startled...click...click...click. The sound terrified him as he closed and locked the drawer. Rushing from the room, he locked the door.

Seventeen

Blissful sleep held Bella in its peaceful embrace as the Madam brutally brought her to reality. The rough, uncaring hand of prostitution shook her rudely from the arms of love in the world of her dream and she struggled to hold onto the memory of it but already it was disappearing back to the halls of her subconscious. She tried to remember the man in her dream...he was the same one...the one she had always dreamt of but now he was gone as she was forced to deal with the cruelty of the present.

'Get up, girl!' the order was snapped, cold and clear. 'Your customers are waiting. Get dressed in these clothes!'

Just as quickly as she had arrived, Angela was gone, leaving Bella alone with the old familiar terror...a crawling, devouring terror as the sight of the clothes she was expected to wear brought tears to her eyes. The soft, clinging shirt and the colourful full skirt, the bracelets, the scarf and ear-rings...a reminder of her friends, the vagrants she had grown to love. Feeling numb, Bella dressed and stared strangely at her reflection in the mirror. Tears flew to her eyelids to scald her with memories of the past...times of laughter and happiness with Jacob, the passionate gypsy who had become a devoted husband but the chuckle of a hearty laugh startled her and she turned suddenly to see Angela smiling at her.

'Isabella, you are such a beauty. Turn around for me!'

Bella sighed and turned; the mask she had chosen to wear covering the reality of her feelings. Placidly, she allowed Angela to brush her waist length hair and paint her face.

'Come now!' Angela told her, taking her by the arm. 'It is time to entertain your customers!'

Hatred fuelled her with energy but she smiled, feeling the cold security of the sharp knife Eli had found for her.

Along the hallway, down the sweeping staircase, Bella followed Angela silently scanning the scene before her. The room in which she had sat many times was alive with soft lights, music, soft willing women and eager men...laughing and leaning against the wooden bar, drinking, chewing...spitting. The women were grotesque adornments, preened, painted and available. Bella pitied them, not admitting she would ever be like them. She wanted to vanish, for the earth to swallow her but the door of her prison was more than this brothel and she almost swooned as the lustful, searching eyes appraised her sultry beauty.

A guitar strummed, a haunting vibrating melody softly echoed, then disappeared to be replaced by the hum of anticipation, the sexual tension of hungry males, eager for release.

The calm she had forced on her nerves was replaced by terror...intensifying as Angela told the rowdy crowd of the new attraction at the Pleasure Palace...a genuine Romanov gypsy of wondrous beauty and talent. Fear grew and built momentum as all stared. Dry lips were moistened in eager anticipation as abusive comments were exchanged by many who suddenly lost interest in their evening's entertainment. They grouped around Angela and listened as the Madam spoke informing them that the gypsy would dance for them.

Bella stared at the floor and the jingling jewellery adorning her ankles. The music began, fiery, pulsating...the Spanish rhythm filled her mind and, as she closed her eyes, she could see Jacob playing his violin and she tried so desperately not to cry.

The men and the whorehouse disappeared in her mind and she was again on the town green with the other dancers...she became one with the music, her body an extended instrument, a glowing sceptre of elegance as she ducked and weaved, creating patterns with her limbs as her long multi-coloured skirt twirled around her.

The men were silent, their mouths open as a young man, a latecomer walked through the front doors of the Pleasure Palace as the dance finished and he paused to stare at her.

It was suddenly silent and Bella opened her eyes, plummeting back to reality. The young man stared and the men clapped, yelling as they demanded the gypsy for the evening. Extracting gold nuggets and coins, many honoured her...wishing to buy her. Gold fell like a shower of rain as Bella snatched as much into her hands as she could before Angela could take it. The men's looks terrified her and she felt faint as she was ordered to change her clothes and Eli followed her, eager for words.

Besieged by the men whose eagerness was all too apparent and whose gold Angela welcomed, she raised her arms in supplication.

'I beg you, gentlemen. I entreat you, one at a time. I cannot hear what you are saying when you all talk at once.'

But one man spoke louder than the others.

'Well, Angela, is she for hire or not?' The room was silent as everyone waited with eagerness.

'Yes and no, depending on your skill!'

The men stared, several asked or boasted of their skills and other men wanted Angela to clarify her words. She told them of the game...and the prize. Many laughed, confident, eager for a whole night alone with the gypsy. Several complained, confessing no knowledge of the game.

'That is hardly fair,' a tall redhead young man commented, shaking his head and walking away in disgust.

'Chess...why chess!' another man asked. 'How many men in these parts know how to pay that city game? You make it hard for us, Angela!' the man continued, wondering at the motives of the sly business woman.

'In one night she will play only three games, so those of you who want to be contenders for the prize pay your gold to me and your name will be written down on paper and it will be drawn out of a hat.'

As instructed Maree walked around the men, taking their payment and writing their names, then placed the papers into a hat.

A sickly smile, a grimace of evil intent covered Angela's enterprising features as she counted the gold and swirled the pieces of paper around.

At that moment, Bella descended the last step of the staircase, watching the gathering below her. The cruel eyes of Angela saw her and twinkled with delight at the breathtakingly desirable picture Bella presented in the gown that had been found for her. Bella was stunning, a glamorous, elegant lady out for a stroll in the park or off to morning tea with the Duchess...a sad reality of the truth. Silver edged combs held the volume of her ebony tresses in place and her gown swished as the men moaned, witnessing her sensual grace.

Taking Bella's hand, Angela said, 'For all you love struck males who despair of being the victor, I have a treat for you. Once a night, Isabella is to chose her paying customer. There you go gentlemen...I have presented a challenge for you. She can choose you!

The words were temptation enough as loud voices broke out, demanding the gypsy and making ribald comments, all wanting to be chosen. Embarrassment flooded Bella's cheeks scarlet as revenge filled her mind. Shame filled her soul and she felt that she had never fallen lower than this moment.

Angela drew the names that echoed in her mind and in the silent room, sending shudders down Bella's spine as she was led to the table where the game would be played.

The anticipating smiles and lustful glances filled Bella with a fear which constricted her stomach and squeezed her heart as if it were in a vice. She could hardly breathe and she broke out in a cold, clammy sweat. The chasm of evasive memory widened as she tried to draw on the past but her answer was a void. If she only could remember who she was, perhaps she could get away and manage to find her way back home. A single tear trickled across her cheek as she wondered the name she had been known in the life she despaired of ever knowing.

Angela spoke words of confidence to her. Some overheard the conversation and thought this a game of pretence between the Madam and the whore.

Bella stared at the marble pieces of the game instead of running away...hiding somewhere where no-one could ever find her again...but where? There were no answers...no-one to save her?

A man sat opposite her...her first opponent and her green eyes wandered upward to take a peek at him. The brazen, hideous lust in his eyes brought the faces of her abusers before her mind's eyes. Flushes, alternatively, hot and cold flooded her body as she poised herself, ready to flee. She gazed over her shoulder to Angela, who was watching her and silent tears escaped, wiped from existence before they were noticed, except by one and he worried for her.

He ignored the stares of Angela and walked to Bella, whispering in her ear, telling her not to be afraid, telling her not to despair...if she lost, which he assured her she would not do, somehow, he told her, he would not let her be hurt again for he planned to escape taking her with him and Maree. Bella smiled...a smile of gratitude.

Tension filled the air as her opponent took the first move. Her forehead was lined with concentration and her green eyes darkened with the silent prayer of needing someone to help her...someone to save her.

As the game progressed, the frown on Bella's forehead disappeared...a smile lurked on her lips and in the corners of her eyes. Hope surged and soared like an eagle...she was winning! Her opponent fumed as she confidently trapped his king into checkmate. Disappointed, he left the table. The elation Bella had felt, evaporated as another opponent replaced him. This one was similarly dispatched as Bella's smile irritated her third opponent...a dangerous looking man. Instantly, she became afraid. This man played well...he knew the game and she had to use all her wits and concentration to match him, move for move.

Intensely, Eli watched the game, observing the man, his bravado, his guile. Hopeful, Eli formatted a plan to aid Bella if the man was victorious. He noticed the lines on Bella's forehead, the perspiration running down her neck and the serious look on her face.

For one hour, the game continued and then Bella smiled, her tension gone, the game won and the man became angry, hitting the table and knocking over his chair. Bella's look was triumphant as Angela walked to her but swiftly destroyed her happiness.

'Now to the other matter, Isabella. Who do you chose?'

Angela's pale blue eyes were shrewd as she observed the men waiting, hoping for Bella to choose them. Her vision wandered to them...their obvious looks of control and subjugation, their devilish smiles making her feel faint as she removed herself to a table near Eli, serving at the bar. Alone, Bella's fear grew and she stared into her drink, wishing to sleep. One man approached her, not wishing to wait to be chosen as he took a seat beside her.

'Good evening, beautiful. Want me? Of course you do! The best lover in these parts, that's what I am.' The confidence he had in his prowess irritated her and his eyes brought fear to her heart as the insinuation of his intentions were boldly displayed.

'Leave me be!' she told him and she turned her back to him as he angrily rose to his feet and swore as he walked away but he was quickly replaced by a brutish man with a herculean body and the ugliest face she had ever seen.

'How about me, sweetheart?'

She cringed away from him but his sheer strength pulled her up from the seat and into his arms.

The reaction of Eli was fast as he jumped from behind the bar and the two body guards of Angela also hurried to the table but before either of them could reach her, a fresh faced, sandy haired man rushed to her defence.

'It seems to me the young lady is not interested in choosing you!' he said, pulling Bella from the man's grasp. The southerner went to strike him but the forceful stance taken by the bodyguards stalled the action he wished to take. The young man's determination was sure, his stance defiant as he held Bella behind him and she clung onto him, grateful for his protection. There was something about him that eased the terror in her heart as his strong arm around her spoke of security and safety. The words of Eli reinforced the young man's stand.

'As the Madam said, Miss Isabella is free to choose her customer and it is obvious she has not chosen you, so you can choose another or leave!'

The stares and strong arm holds of the bodyguards backed up Eli so the southerner turned, grumbling angrily as he chose another woman to ease his lust.

Needing reassurance, Bella rushed into Eli's arms and he patted her shoulder telling her to sit down. The bodyguards wandered off but the young man sat down beside Bella, staring into her tear strewn face.

'I am grateful!' she said and he smiled. She gazed at him, at his handsome young face and the dancing lights of liveliness in his eyes.

'You are a champion at chess! Where did you learn that?' he inquired in a conversational manner, all the while pinning his hopes on the possibility she might chose him to be her customer.

'I do not know!' she answered and he frowned, puzzled by her words.

In answer to his frown she confided in him. 'I have amnesia but the strange thing is, I can only remember to play chess and cook.'

'You are very beautiful and talented...you dance wonderfully,' he told her, hoping to seduce her but also sensing her feelings of insecurity by the fearful glimmer in her eyes.

Her brusque words startled him. 'You only want to bed me too, do you not? You are the same as the others only cunning!'

He stared at her, feeling embarrassed but then, he plunged in with his question.

'What is your real name...you are not really called 'Isabella' are you?'

She lifted her eyes from her glass, staring at him and he returned her gaze, entranced not knowing a time in his life when he had looked on a face as beautiful.

'I was named 'Isabella' by the man who found me. I told you a moment ago I have amnesia. I do not know my real name.'

Eighteen

She did not talk for a long time and the man still sat next to her. She wished that he would go away. She felt said thinking of the man who had named her and the sweet, simple life he had given her. She wished to seek peace in her room but she knew she must talk with a man who obviously wanted more than her thoughts or conversation.

'Do you really have no memory or is this part of the act?'

'Pardon?' she asked, not believing she had heard his words properly.

He repeated his question and she became angry.

'Is this an act? Oh! I wish I was an actress and this was some charade. Oh, go away!' she said angrily, 'my life is none of your business...you only care to bed me, what would you care for the truth!'

Her lecture stunned him and he blushed, embarrassed and ashamed.

'I am sorry. I did not mean to hurt you but some of the other men said that...'

'Is that what they think...that I am pretending to have amnesia to attract customers? This is the only bargain I have...to play the game so I do not have to...but I still have to...' Her words ended in tears and he pondered what she had said.

'You are not a whore then?' he asked, needing to know her situation.

'Not yet...never if I have anything to do with it but she owns me and she says I have to...' Bella replied between sobs as she tried to bury her tears in her handkerchief, blowing her nose.

The longer he talked to her, the more pity he felt for her. Suddenly he wished to be her champion, her knight in shining armour and he smiled broadly.

'Can we talk, then?'

She gazed into his eyes, really looking at him this time. His face was young,

seventeen or eighteen and he was ruggedly handsome, his hair blonde and his eyes blue. His smile was warm and she felt comfortable with him, returning his smile.

'What is your name?'

'I am Jasper Travers. I am a prospector. I own a gold mine about five miles out of town.'

He stared, falling...captivated by her mystery and her elfin, fragile beauty. The time passed as Jasper told her of his life. He was the youngest son in a household of boys and he had left on his own adventure becoming tired of the continual struggle to plough the hard earth which comprised their farm. He described the poignant beauty of his family's ranch to her and she listened intently, fascinated with his words which painted a picture of lofty mountain peaks, heavily covered with snow in the winter.

He told her of the vibrant river which ran through the property...the times of drought when there was hardly enough water for the stock and the times of the rains, when the river was a raging torrent flooding the land, drowning stock and ruining crops. He told her of his favourite fishing spot and the waterfalls in the mountains...his animal friends, his horse...the beavers in the river and the forest animals, the minx and the squirrel. His tales about his school days made her laugh and the magical quality of her mirth, set his pulses racing as he suddenly realised he had never felt so happy, not in such a long time.

Her rapt attention to his tale continued as Bella eagerly listened to his story of ancestors who had turned the first soil and his four elder brothers who were married and lived on the land with their families. This reason had prompted Jasper to leave and make his own way in life...deciding to follow his dream to strike gold.

His brothers had laughed at him but he had set out with his small savings, his horse and his saddle bags. Hope and faith filled his heart as he knew he would succeed...he just had to try. For two years he had travelled around the gold fields and finally he had ended up in Diamond Gully. Ironically no diamonds had ever been found in the locality although there were many tales, spun around the campfires of the fortunes which were lying under the soil waiting to be found. Jasper had joined up with an old prospector, Jud Ballen, who had worked the same mine for six years with no success. The old man had taken a liking to the fresh enthusiastic face of the young Jasper and he had let the eighteen year old buy into the mine with the last of his savings.

Together the old and the young had worked together until one cold autumn morning, the golden ore which Jud had sometimes despaired of finding, sat on the mouth of his shovel. It was not much...provisions for a few months but Jud knew the mother lode was there...somewhere. The excitement of the find had been too much for old Jud and he had collapsed, clutching his heart, whispering his dying wishes with the last of his breath. Jasper had buried his partner, living one day at a time, digging, sifting through tonnes of ore, dreaming of unimaTanyable wealth.

The months had past and during that time Jasper had scarcely had any contact with other humans, except the ranchers whose property adjoined his. He had visited them several times but became wary of the rancher's daughter Maria, who had tried to trick him into marriage.

Retreating back to his mine, he had not thought of the fairer sex until now and, as he sat so closely to Bella, he longed to hold her, to love her. He reached for her arm but her reaction was fast and frightened. Staring at her, he wondered at the terror in her eyes.

The hawk eyes of Angela watched them and she approached. The words Bella dreaded to hear were spoken.

'So you have decided then, Isabella. Is to be this young man?'

Bella hung her head in embarrassment as shame flushed her cheeks red. She did not answer as her hands shook and she tried to hide them in the folds of her gown.

Jasper watched her and puzzled at her fear, believing she was a virgin. Pity filled his heart for her and he wished he could convince her to choose him. He stared at her as she ignored the Madam who would not be ignored.

'Make a decision now, Isabella, or I will choose for you. If you do not want this young man, perhaps the old gentleman who is desperate to bed you or the other one waiting by the bar. He has begged me many times to let him have you and even offered twice the fee. Now, Isabella, do not annoy me by your indecision or I will go back on my bargain. Do you understand?'

The words were a threat and Bella gulped as Angela walked away.

'If you have to choose a man, Isabella...choose me,' Jasper pleaded.

She raised her face to him and the tears falling down her cheeks tore at the strings of his heart.

'Yes, I have to choose...but...,' she answered coldly, feeling the security of her knife, wishing she could just sit there with Jasper and talk about his home.

The pressure being put on her was bringing her to the edge of panic and Eli watched her intently from the tables as he wiped them over, worried for her, uncertain how the evening would end.

'Isabella, choose me! I will pay the Madam and we will go upstairs to your room. I will not touch you if it is not your wish...I swear. We can talk...I will tell you about my travels through the gold fields!' he urged her but her face was stony and her eyes full of tears. Jasper's plea was gallant as he tried to suppress his sexual urges.

Her trembling lips and the sadness in her eyes crushed his heart. Instantly he wanted to protect her, to help her. What was her situation? Was she a slave? Why was she in a brothel? The thoughts rushed around his mind at lightning speed as he knew he had to find out the answers.

She had listened to his honourable words but she did not really believe him. He seemed so honest, so sweet but suddenly, she felt insecure as the memories of the bandits filled her mind. Unsure of him, of everyone, except her friends, she did not answer him or look at him but then, suddenly, she knew Angela was beside her. Instantly her gaze travelled to the old man and the other tall man at the bar. Their looks sent a chill rushing down her spine and she rose to her feet, nodding her acquiescence to Jasper. He smiled but her face grew deathly pale as she pushed her chair back and turned to face her owner.

'I choose the young man, Angela.'

Bella walked away, holding her head high trying not to stumble as her legs shook and she felt faint.

Eli watched her as his heart was breaking and he knew her suffering. He wanted to go to her and left his work to speak to her but the stern, threatening look of his owner stalled his intentions. Staring at Bella as she disappeared up the stairs, he felt a lump in his throat and his eyes filled with tears.

Jasper watched her also, unable to take his eyes from her, acknowledging her regal beauty...her pride...her bravery. He had told her he would not touch her but he guessed she did not believe him. What had happened to her? Had she been hurt so terribly to be so afraid? Questions...unanswered questions still annoyed him and he wondered if she would confide in him. He turned to the Madam as he put the gold into her hand and he eyed her, seeing the cruelty in her face, despairing that the beautiful Isabella was bonded to this woman.

'Two hours is all you get, young man!' Angela told him and he tried to smile at her as he walked past the bar.

'Just a minute,' a deep voice spoke to him and he suddenly turned to see the barman beckoning him. 'We need to talk!'

Jasper smiled and nodded his head as Eli continued to speak.

'Here, have a drink with me. The Madam is due to go to her rooms now...we need to speak in confidence about Isabella.'

Jasper took the drink handed to him and sat on the stool at the bar. He stared into Eli's dark face as he wondered what place this man had in her life. Questions hurried off Jasper's tongue.

'What is she to you? What happened to her? Do you know? Why is she so afraid?'

Eli almost laughed at the bravado of the young man.

'Now, just a minute...slow down. One question at a time...anyway, I was the one wanting to ask the questions!'

Jasper almost held his breath as he waited to hear the things he wanted to know.

'You have a peculiar interest in Isabella. What is your concern?'

'There is something about her...besides being the most beautiful girl I have ever seen...she seems so lost...so afraid. I do not want to hurt her. I want...!'

'Do you know her?' Eli cut short Jasper's sentence.

'Know her? No, I do not know her. She told me she has amnesia. At first, I thought she was pretending but now I believe her. What does she remember?'

'Only the last six months.'

'Can you tell me about her? I beg you. I want to help her,' Jasper pleaded.

'The kindest act you can do for Isabella is to be her friend and nothing else, and I mean nothing else.'

'I have promised. I wanted to save her before when the Madam demanded she choose a customer. She was almost jumping out of her skin with fear. This is her first time? Is she pure?'

Eli stared at Jasper, hoping he could trust him.

'This is Isabella's personal business but I see you are the only one able to help her so I have no choice but to trust you. Do you swear to keep your hands off her and help her?'

Jasper nodded his head. 'I swear.'

'No, she is not pure, as you say it. She is not a virgin. She was married. Bandits captured her...terrorised, beat her, shot her, then sold her to Angela. They killed the only family she had...the gypsies. Before that she had to fight for her life, then her husband was killed and died in her arms.'

Jasper remained silent, stunned as he listened to Isabella's story.

'She was carrying his child...the abuse caused her to lose the child and the first time I ever saw her, she was a sad sight to see...poor thing...beaten, injured...bruised and almost insane with fear. I nursed her for many months and all the time, poor Missy Isabella knowing she had to whore herself like the others. This is her first night you see. But you are here. Perhaps the good Lord sent you to save her. You will save her?'

Jasper wanted more than to save her from this brothel...he wanted to marry her and take her away from this hell of a town. He planned to buy her from Angela and he hoped he had enough gold back in his camp. Recently, he had found a vein of considerable wealth and he planned to go there the next morning to dig some out.

'I will buy her!' Jasper said resolutely. 'The gypsies? How did she...was she always a gypsy?'

'They found her...the man, Jacob...he became her husband. She was injured on the road and had no memory when he found her.'

'Oh!' Jasper said, suddenly wishing to see Bella, to talk to her. 'I best be going. My time will be gone.'

Suddenly, Eli's huge hand was on his shoulder. 'I love her as my sister. Hurt her and you will have me to deal with. I may be a slave but I will not see her hurt.'

'Believe me, I wish her no harm. Which is her room? She did not tell me.'

'The last at the end of the hall,' Eli told him as Jasper hurried away, up the stairs, down the long hall. Then he started to walk slowly as his mood became sombre, digesting all the slave had told him. Now he understood...he knew why she was so strange and he wished to help. Pity filled his heart for her as he knocked softly at the door but there was no answer. He turned the doorknob but it would not open...she had locked it. He knocked again as he spoke softly.

'Isabella...Isabella...please do not be afraid. Let me in. It is I, Jasper Travers. I will not touch you. I promised. Believe me. Let us become friends first and perhaps you will grow to like me.'

His answer was silence as she ignored him and he thought she may have fallen asleep but he persisted.

'Isabella...Isabella...open the door...you have to let me in. You will have to choose another man tomorrow night. Let it be me. Let me in and I will make sure that you never do anything you do not want to do.'

'Go away!' he heard her words and he despaired.

'Isabella, I cannot go away. Perhaps the Madam will know...she may check if you are with me.'

Suddenly, as if his words came true, Jasper heard the Madam's heavy tread on the stairs.

'Quick, Isabella she is coming...open the door!'

Instantly, the door opened as Jasper viewed Bella's frightened face.

'Quick,' he said, as he pulled her onto the bed and covered them with the quilt.

Bella's heart was racing as she heard Angela enter her room.

'Well done, young man!'

The door closed and Bella almost screamed with anger. Her words were desperate as

she jumped out of his arms, onto the floor.

'How dare she!' She hurried to the chair and threw herself into it, fuming in annoyance.

Jasper rose from her bed and walked towards her. Desperately, he wanted her love but he was resolved not to take what she was not prepared to give, even though he had paid for it. Holding her briefly against him had sent his pulses racing. He stared at her...more beautiful than ever...her hair ruffled...her cheeks flushed, her eyes like brilliant emeralds as she stared into space.

'Can we finish our conversation?' he asked but his eyes travelled to her huge bed.

Her forest green eyes narrowed as she stared at him, wondering his intentions. Had all his words been a ruse to get her in her room? What did he intend to do? Her thoughts brought a flush of fear into her cheeks and she fingered her knife at her thigh.

'Your friend, Eli...he told me about you. I understand. I know how you have suffered. I want to be your friend!' Jasper tried to reassure her but she continued to stare at him with her suspicious eyes.

'Eli told you? He should not have. My past...at least, this part that I remember is my business.'

'I want to help you, Isabella...to be your friend. I cannot do that without understanding your feelings.'

She did not take her eyes off him and he felt uncomfortable under her scrutiny.

'Eli only wants to help you too. He loves you as his sister. I love you!' Jasper told her impulsively, immediately sharing his feelings.

'Love me, how could you love me? You have only just met me. You said you wanted to bed me. Have you lost your resolve for that after you realised you loved me?'

Her words puzzled him and frustrated him.

'I know you cannot love anyone...I know you have been hurt. I only want to be your friend.'

Despondently, she sat in her chair and he noticed the sadness in her eyes as well as the shaking of her hands. He wished to reassure her as he realised the experience she had had to deal with that evening had unsettled her nerves. He moved towards her. She leant forward and pulled back her skirt. The knife was rapidly pulled free and she sat forward threatening him, a light of madness gleaming in her eyes.

'Isabella...Isabella...stop! I mean you no harm. I promised you. Trust me!'

Her breathing was rapid, her pupils large with fear and Jasper was worried.

'Give me that knife!' he demanded.

'No!' she screamed, a heart rendering wail of agony.

Part Two

Hope

All the day, the darkness and cold

upon my heart have lain,

Like shadows on the winter sky.

Like frost upon the pane.

John Greenleaf Whittier

On Receiving an Eagles' Quill

Nineteen

Regret had held his mind all the long, lonely months. He rode his horse tirelessly, going from town to town, carrying the small, painted image of her. He had asked everyone he met if they knew her. Most denied...several gave him false hope, then extreme disappointment but he did not give up...he could not give up.

The afternoon sun dipped below the mountain range and Edward smiled at his companion as they rode over the border into another State. He had travelled most of America searching for her and there was seldom a moment in his day when he did not think of her...his nights were tormented with dreams of her. One particularly painful dream still haunted him and he remembered it then, his face expressing his despair.

'Fear not, Edward, my friend. You will find her!' the words of his friend were a comfort and Edward was grateful for the companionship of William who believed he owed a debt to Edward for saving his life. A bond had grown between them as Edward continued his journey, riding his horse to the point of exhaustion and William worried, knowing his impetuous young friend would have driven himself to his death, if left alone. Driven by guilt, Edward pushed himself to the point of illness and beyond. He vowed to find her, marry her and William had never witnessed such devotion, such hunger.

Watching him intently, William wondered where Edward's thoughts lay as he stared ahead, straight into the distant horizon, his face an expressionless mask. He knew Edward was a solitary person but of late, he had been even more withdrawn than normal.

At that moment Edward's mind travelled in the past. Lately he seemed to be reliving every moment with her as if to make her real to him. He thought of the childhood games, school days and the hard work together and times of sheer childish delight, playing on the sandy beach or fishing and swimming in the river. His life had been full of Bella and now, without her, he felt he had no life.

Further and further back, his memory travelled to a vague memory of his stepfather, Carlisle and a sword named 'Wulfgar'. Suddenly...so clearly, he could see it in his mind's eye, a mysteriously magnificent sword, wrought of steel and gold, inlaid with gems and the most amazing part he remembered the hilt...a human bone…part of a thigh bone with an intricate carving of the most exquisite workmanship.

When he had been a child, he had been totally aghast as his eyes had beheld the carving...his eyes had travelled to the hilt and then, hurriedly, desperately, he had removed his boot. He had sat on his bed, stunned and speechless, staring at the same intricate marks on his instep, travelling down the sides of his feet and then lengthways to his toes. He has also thought it just a birthmark but now as he saw the same pattern on the sword he felt something magical and eerie about it all. Who was he? Then Carlisle had explained to him the truth of his parentage, his Kingship and his birthright.

Now a grown man, many years since that day, Edward stared at his booted foot. Impulsively, he pulled his horse to a sudden stop and jumped to the ground. He removed his boot and sock, then shook his head, disbelieving the story Carlisle had told him of the sword being more than just a sword, having a special legacy, a special power and he, heir to the power. Confusion held his mind as to the recall of this memory for he had only been ten years of age at the time and now, he suddenly felt as though it had been a dream or a story he had read and not part of his own life.

Smiling, he resumed his journey, clearly remembering the look on Bella's face when he had told her and with all the trusting exuberance of an eight year old, she had believed him, laughing as she bowed at his feet, playing at being his queen. A tear formed in the corner of his eye as he pulled his horse to a stop beside William, eager to feel solid ground beneath him.

Walking to the stream to water his horse, his mind dwelt on his birthright. Vividly, he could see himself, sitting on his bed as the memory returned clearly and he remembered each detail exactly as it had happened.

Carlisle had walked into Edward's room, holding an elaborately carved scabbard, containing a sword. He had sat down on the bed and, as he spoke, his eyes held a strange quality, a distant faraway look and tears began to form.

'Son,' Carlisle had said. 'I have something to tell you. I have loved you as my son and protected you with my own life but you are not of my blood. Your father and your mother were royal. You are of the house of Hapsbrugen...you are royal of ancient lineage. I was your father's servant, My Liege!'

With these words Carlisle had fallen onto his knees in homage, overcome with the emotions of telling the secret he had kept to himself for so long.

'Father, get up. What are you saying?'

Disbelief had filled his young mind as he had helped Carlisle to his feet and indicated for him to sit on the bed also.

Then emotionally and painfully, the story unfolded as Carlisle had told Edward of his distant homeland and the legend of the sword named 'Wulfgar' which Carlisle had pulled from the scabbard, placing it into Edward's adolescent hands.

Now only a memory, Carlisle's words ran clear and loud in Edward's mind as the past was recalled.

'It was forged in ancient times, times when dragons terrified humanity and witches flew the night skies. The King of your homeland had come from a distant place. The legend says he came from another earth and he travelled from the stars. His flying ship had fallen from the skies to crash on the tiny island kingdom of your birth. The people of your homeland were intelligent and industrious but were believers in magic. Humbly, they praised him thinking him a god and they wanted to erect altars to him, to worship him but he had told them he was only human. Patiently, he told them, his people had more knowledge but they did not understand him and they thought his superior knowledge to be the keys of his godhood.

Finally, he accepted their awe and reigned wisely using his powers to help them. He said he was a magician but they did not understand. They thought him a god. He could perform various tricks and make things disappear and reappear but the most amazing power he had was the healing power. The legend says he brought the healing power with him from his home world...from the female healer who had birthed him. After many years of living among them and knowing he could never return to this home, he grew to love our earth and loved a woman, making her his queen. His heir grew and the father taught him the science, the knowledge of his homeland world and as the years past, the fame of the king spread as he was greatly revered.

His healing magic kept those he loved, his wife and son in unusual longevity but the magic did not work for him. Old age claimed him while his wife and son were still quite young and he called his son to him, telling him of his dying wishes. The son listened, promising to fulfil his loving father's request. After the magician's death, the son, now crowned as king, removed a thigh bone from his father's body and fashioned a hilt for a sword. The instructions, he had been given, were precise and he followed them implicitly, forging the silver, melting the gold and choosing the finest gems. Months of work in the deepest bowls of the castle brought forth fruition as the young king held the sword aloft, above the ancient sacrificial table where many virgins had been sacrificed to the Norse gods by the pagan race who are our ancestors. The king had forbidden the practice and instituted a new religion, one of peace, understanding and love. The magician king's son chanted the words of his father as he imagined the power to heal, to make whole. Suddenly, a brilliant fire had come from the bone, ripping through the sword, almost lifting it from the young king's grasp and he had clasped it tightly, feeling the energy surge through him.

Lovingly, he used the sword of his father, the sword he had been told to name 'Wulfgar' after the magician who had given his powers to form it. The king's son had healed the sick, the weak and the unhappy, making his kingdom a haven of peace and love. Revered by his adoring population, he was treated as a god, although he remained humble, implicitly remembering the words of his father, the words of wisdom to remember, even though he was their king, he was only a man…not a god.

Living to an ancient age, the king left numerous offspring but eventually he died. To the despair of the island kingdom, none of the ancestors of the king were able to release the powers of Wulfgar.'

Carlisle had suddenly finished the sentence to catch his breath and then he continued.

'In a foreboding time, known as the dark ages when the world was held by ignorance and the doings of evil men, a king of your homeland was at a loss to help his people. Your homeland, known as Hapsbrugen, a tiny principality, was threatened with extinction as hundreds of warships surrounded it and the people begged the king to save them.

Alone, in the ancient chamber, he laid the silent Sword of Wulfgar on the sacrificial table and he closed his eyes, not knowing how he could help his people. Holding, the sword by the hilt, he cried and his tears fell on the gem encrusted in the hilt of bone. Despairingly, he knelt beside the table of stone and his sobs echoed through the stone room, the sound magnified by the stone walls. The harder he cried, the fiercer the wind blew until a fearsome storm surrounded the island of Hapsbrugen, sinking all the ships of the enemy.

Peace returned to the land and that year, a son was born to the king. The child was marked with a strange birthmark...an intricate replica of the emblem encrusted in the hilt of the sword...a pattern of strange shapes travelling along the babe's instep down to his toes. Awe and wonder filled the king's mind as the child grew to manhood...the age of nineteen and he held the power to release the energy of the sword.

Through the ages, only four men, who were born to be kings inherited the legacy of the sword. When the legacy failed to appear, vain and greedy kings had themselves tattooed with the emblem of 'Wulfgar' but it was to no avail. The legacy was not given for five hundred years and then, in the first decade of the nineteenth century, the King wed the beautiful Loreli who gave him a son to be named 'Wulfgar Johannes'. You are he, you are Wulfgar...it is your royal name.

I was with your father that day, the first time he held you in his arms and his eyes fell on your foot. I saw his fear as well as his joy as he realised how special you were. Humbly, he asked your mother, his queen, to name you for the sword of the ancient King Wulfgar but she had rebelled, not wishing you to be named for a sword, albeit, a sword of peace and healing. She cried and she implored...she told him that the knowledge of your inheritance of the legacy was worry enough as she feared you would be taken from her by the zealous monks who ruled the churches or greedy nobles eager for power.'

Suddenly Carlisle had stopped speaking as he had witnessed the tears falling down Edward's cheeks.

'My mother...was she beautiful?' the young Edward had asked.

'Yes, Edward, she was beautiful and kind. She loved you with all her heart.'

'What was her name?'

'Your mother was Elizabeth'.

The power of his memories tugged at Edward's emotions as his tears fell and he wiped them from his cheeks. He stared into the distant horizon as the words of Carlisle came back into his mind.

'Your father also worried for your safety, so he kept the knowledge of your birthmark to himself as he prepared for the traditional tattooing ceremony of the heir to the throne. Vividly, I remember that day. The morning dawned bright and clear but your mother was not happy. Her eyes were sad as she held you in her arms and I knew her deep love for your father stalled her impulse to run and hide you. She knew the necessity of this charade and quietened her fear knowing you were tranquilised and would feel no pain but I noticed her dragging footsteps and the shaking of her hands as she walked into the ancient chamber where the sword had been forged.

Shining torches, hooded monks and fierce gargoyles surrounded her, frightening her. The ancient words were spoken as your father tattooed your tiny foot, the lines of the tattoo travelling over the real birthmark of the Legacy. Quickly, he hurried the ceremony, refusing to finish the traditional part where the king usually held the sword over the heir's head.

The monks became suspicious and demanded he do it but he held his position as King, lying that there was no point as there was no legacy given. Fear motivated your father's actions as he worried for your safety if he had carried out the ceremony to its conclusion. You slept through the whole ceremony and then, with all their love and being fiercely protective of you, your mother and father, carried you to the royal bedchambers and tucked you into your little bed. I stood beside you, watching you as you slept, the Sword of Wulfgar on the table near you. I had promised your mother and father, my King and Queen to protect you with my life but eventually I could not keep awake and I feel asleep. I woke to find a monk holding the Sword of Wulfgar above your body, to see if you were indeed the 'heir' of the legend.

I stared in wonder as the sword became luminously blue and vibrated, humming an unusual, deep tone. I fought the monk who tried to take you and the sword. I killed him and I grabbed you and the sword into my arms, hurrying into the secret chamber. An unknown fear held me, urging me to flee and to take you with me. I hurried to a secret place where I had hidden resources of food, money and clothes for an event like this.

I hid you then ventured out of the hiding place to see what had happened in the Palace. My stomach churned with anger as I heard the news that the King and Queen, your mother and father, had been murdered. I left my homeland and yours, taking you from your birthright to come to this land and there was no choice but for me to be your father. It has been such an honour to raise you and know you as my son. But I am only your servant and I am sorry, My Liege, my King to take you away from your kingdom but surely you would have died.

Guilt has always filled my life for what I have done. I named you Edward in honour of my father as you needed a new identity. I wanted to take you back but it has been a struggle to live as the money I brought with me did not last long. I beg your forgiveness, My Liege. You are a young man now, ten years of age and in another nine you will inherit the powers of the Sword of Wulfgar. I could not keep the secret any longer. It is your right to know the truth of your lineage...your birthright!'

Carlisle had ended his long story and Edward remembered he had sat still on the bed, with his mouth open and his hand still on the hilt of the sword. With tears in his eyes he had fallen into Carlisle's arms and cried for his murdered father and mother and the devotion of the servant he had always thought of as 'father'.

'I beg your forgiveness!' Carlisle had mumbled.

'There is nothing to forgive!' Edward had said. 'You saved my life and to me you will always be 'father'. I love you, Father!'

'Where are your thoughts again, Edward?' William asked. 'I have been speaking to you but you are miles away.'

Suddenly Edward turned and felt guilty knowing he had been so far away...so far back in the past. The warmth of Carlisle's love still filled his life and even though he was not related, Edward would forever think of him as 'father'. He bore his name 'Cullen' and was proud of it. The name 'Prince Wulfgar Johannes Von Hapsbrugen' seemed so strange...another person, certainly not himself and Edward sighed, knowing that the life he had never lived, he could not live now...it was gone as had the Sword of Wulfgar which had disappeared, or had been stolen not long after that day. It had never been found again so there was no likelihood in the future that Edward would be able to see if he actually was the 'heir to the sword of power'.

Now, he almost laughed at the thought of such a possibility and he thought it all rather ridiculous. He smiled at his friend.

'I was just remembering the past, friend. Sorry to ignore you!'

William returned the smile as he filled his water bottle in the stream and climbed back onto his horse's back.

'Best be getting on, Edward...the day's almost over and I'd like to reach that canyon over there before dark. Find a cave for some shelter. There's a storm coming!' he said, pointing to the storm clouds brewing in the west.

Eventually, they came to the entrance to the canyon where a stream ran with all the exuberance of the first snow melt of spring. The vast climate changes of this land were a constant source of wonder to the two wanderers. Recently, the land had been so dry...dying cattle and crops...a tragedy of drought and despair. Here the autumn rains had come replenishing the earth, the streams and the rivers, finally giving the promise of life back to a wasteland. Flowers were abundant...all shades of red, yellow and orange became a weaving pattern of brilliance.

Abruptly, Edward pulled his horse to a stop, suddenly, wishing to appreciate the beauty beneath him. On his haunches, Edward paused before the spectacle of wonder, the living carpet of flowers at his feet. He plucked one crimson flower, the fragrance so sweet, the petals so soft, so smooth…just like Bella and then he sighed painfully, wanting her, needing her...like these flowers had needed the rain. The flower fell to the ground as his soul despaired, becoming despondent as he climbed on his horse again.

Silently, he rode into the canyon and selected a site near the stream, adjacent to a cave. Automatically, he tended the horses, his mind numb...his life on hold.

William served the meagre meal with strong, black coffee without the luxury of cream and sugar. Beans and beef jerky...synonymous with the sad existence Edward had embraced fervently. They ate silently as William fantasized of a juicy steak. Suddenly, he broke the silence with his admonition.

'You cannot go on like this for years, Edward. Come on, friend, admit it, if she is lost to you...you have to live, life goes on!'

William winced, fearing he had drawn his friend's anger but Edward's smile was sad, resolved.

'I have no life without her...yes...I will search, for years, if I have to...I do not wish to talk about it!'

Edward walked to the stream to wash their bowls and cups. Solitude descended on the men as if their thoughts were too powerful to be spoken...William's words of wisdom and the experience of age, then Edward's valid statement of self sacrifice, coupled with the impulsiveness of youth. Pensively, Edward stared into the sky, watching the storm clouds billowing and the setting sun which suffused the sky with a splash of colour...brilliant red and orange, pale mauve and a fluorescent crimson. He sighed witnessing the spectacular brilliance of God's beautiful mastery and he felt so small, so insignificant compared to the wonder of the world.

He walked to the horses and patted them, rubbed them down and hobbled them for the night. He retrieved his saddle blankets, trying to make himself as comfortable as possible on the hardness of the earth. Edward stared at the oncoming night. The first star appeared, twinkling dimly then becoming bright and luminous as the sky darkened. He smiled as a sweet memory passed his mind, a boyhood memory of the gentleness of woman and the brilliance of the night sky.

Sickness had held his young body with fever and Renee had nursed him, sitting beside him, bathing his forehead. She had told him to look at the stars and to make a secret wish on the first star to brighten the night sky. With her words and her gentleness, she showed her love for him although he was not her son...his only family had been Carlisle who, at that time had been ill with fever also. Renee had filled the void of mother and encompassed Edward's life with feminine charm and tenderness.

Now a man, Edward sighed, a sign of extreme sadness missing Renee and her family of females.

'Bella!' he spoke longingly into the night but no-one heard him as William snored loudly on the other side of the fire. Tears fell from his eyes as his love for Bella seared him with a pain so exquisite he reeled with agony but then he accepted the power his love gave him...the limitless resources of energy and the determination to find her at whatever the personal cost he had to endure.

Twenty

The dark, gathering shapes of ominous clouds fascinated him as he stared, wondering if the rain would come again. His head ached and he rubbed his temples as his mind threw up a memory he wished so passionately to remain buried deep within his subconscious, never to be remembered but relentlessly it came to torment him as clear as if it had been yesterday.

She had cried out, calling his name, telling him to stop pulling her hair. The sound of her voice chilled his heart and he turned to her.

'What are you doing here?'

Abruptly, he sat up, staring at Tanya lying beside him and she was smiling. She yawned extravagantly, displaying her lack of clothing.

'You do not remember? My...my you have a terrible memory!'

Her look was innocently calculating and his frustration grew as he rubbed his brow, his mind dazed and foggy. A stabbing pain scattered his thoughts and his heart lurched into his throat as his stomach twisted with knots of nausea.

'Where is Bella?' he thought as terror seized him.

'You seduced me, you scoundrel...and on your wedding eve too! My, you are a philanderer, Edward Cullen! Who would have thought? What will Bella say? You have to marry me now you have my virtue!' she demanded, revelling in her intrigue.

Her words scorched him and he did not believe her. Desperately, he tried to remember the night before but his memories were hazy and his head ached. A strange taste filled his mouth and suddenly he suspected his drinks had been tampered with.

'You drugged me!' he accused her and she laughed.

'You were drunk of your own doing!' she told him but he denied her statement.

'Two ales...that is all,' he said in his defence but her words were fast and damaging.

'And the rest...they had to roll you out of the saloon!'

Her words tried to convince him but even though his mind held a hazy memory of the previous night, he still had a sense of reasoning at his command.

'If I was so drunk, how did I get here? I could not have ridden my horse. Why are you here?'

His probing questions were annoying her as she had counted on his confusion but he had a sharp mind.

'You rode your horse. I was with you. You told me you wanted me to come with you. You said you loved me and you had made a mistake. You did not want to marry her anymore!'

The absurdity of her words made him laugh which aggravated his headache.

'You are a liar!' he told her and he rose from the bed, pulling on his breeches and shirt.

'Get out of my house!' he told her but she refused, snuggling into the blankets, gesturing for him to join her. Fury filled his mind and he lunged for her, pulling her painfully by the arm until she tumbled on the cold floor. She clutched the blanket around her as he dragged her towards the door. Forcefully, he pulled the door open to see Renee Swan who had her arm raised to knock. A look of shock covered her face and tears filled her eyes.

Guilt scorched Edward as the evidence of his infidelity in the form of the naked Tanya Denali stood between them. He became paralyzed with fear...his mouth fell open and his heart ached with despair. Given the opportunity, Tanya struggled from his grasp and hurriedly picked up her clothes and dressed. Pushing past Edward and Renee, she threw more fuel on the fire of her treachery.

'Remember, Edward...do you remember this? I said I would wait for you, since we were children. I told you I would wait for you. You have taken my virtue and now you have no choice but to marry me! Last night you said you loved me...you wanted only me. Father will make you, especially if I tell him you forced me here and forced yourself upon me. Marry me or go to prison and then I shall put her out of business!'

She gestured towards Renee and both were stunned by the venom of her threats. Relishing in the success of her intrigue, Tanya mounted her horse and galloped away, her laughter, a taunting and painful sound drifting back to them on the strong morning wind.

'You are mine!' she added before she disappeared out of sight but Edward heard her words and turned to Renee, angry and embarrassed.

'What are you doing here?'

'That is my question, son!' Renee had answered him sternly and the use of the word 'son' made him wince with remorse. She had called him 'son' many times in the past but that very day he would have become her son by marriage and the knowledge of his wedding day...the evidence of his obvious infidelity and the absence of his fiancée was damaging. Renee had witnessed the incriminating situation with her own eyes. Even if he had not been guilty of the crime he had no recollection of, his soul scorched him with sorrow.

For moments unending, the painful silence of indecision and uncertainty continued as Edward could not speak. Embarrassment, fear, suffering and disbelief filled his soul as

the import of Tanya's presence overwhelmed him.

'I do not remember why I am here. I am positive I have been drugged!' Edward answered, trying to make sense out of the cloudy haze filling his mind.

'She is not here then? Edward, she is not here!' Renee yelled, suddenly very afraid. 'Where is she? Where can she be?'

The sobs started and became gasps of breathless panic as she came to terms with the seriousness of Bella's disappearance.

'She is not with you?' he answered, shock possessing him as he thought of the ships in port...the vagrants and seamen in town.

'Today...' Edward started to say but his thoughts froze in his mind and were not born as words.

'Today you were to marry my daughter. Where can she be? She came to see you! Your message...where is she then?' Renee urgently questioned, then suddenly became silent as her eyes grew wide with a sudden knowledge. Her face paled to white as her hands gripped Edward's arm.

'Bella came here! Edward! Do you hear me? Bella came here. Susanna told her there was a message from you to meet her here. Do you understand? She saw you with Tanya...she must have! Oh! How could you be so cruel?'

The words...the condemning words of fear drifted into Edward's mind, terrifying him.

'No, no!' he yelled as dizziness flushed his mind with instability and his guilt broke his heart. His thoughts were jumbled, confused and he cursed himself for going to the saloon...one drink the men had said...a custom, they had told him and he had gone with them...remembering nothing after the second drink. His head ached as queasiness gripped his stomach, wilfully forced down by the need to function. Disbelief filled his mind that this treachery had been planned and calculated.

'I must go!' he said urgently, overpowered by a need to find Bella and not willing or able to answer Renee's previous questions.

She followed after him but she staggered and almost fell as Edward caught her and helped her to her horse.

Down the left fork of the road he galloped, searching, expecting to see Bella lying on the road injured or dead. For twenty miles he searched, up and down the main road from Denalito Charlotte Town but he could not find her. Despondently, he returned the way he had come and this time took the right fork off the main road to Burrowsville but again he was unsuccessful.

Tears flowed down his cheeks as he desperately pulled his horse to a sudden stop under an old elm tree. Weary, hungry and despairingly ill, he almost fell from the saddle and sat in the long grass, burying his head in his arms. Torment, apathy and the agony of loss filled his mind and he sobbed, deep gulping breaths of torture as his tears fell in a torrent as he imagined the worst... a ship had taken her...she had become the captive of a slaver to be sold anywhere in the world.. or she was dead and buried somewhere where he would never be able to find her. The remainder of his life flashed before his mind's eye as an endless night of loneliness without her.

Suddenly, he rose onto his knees, clasping his hands together and praying like he had never prayed in his life before. He had attended church with Carlisle and the Swans but he had never felt like he did at that moment. His heart was broken and he was humble. His tears fell as his words begged for divine guidance and suddenly, it came to him in the strangest way.

A warm glow filled his being, a sudden feeling of hope held his heart and a voice urged him to go on, keep searching, to never give up...never...

He wiped the moisture from his face and with a desperate determination he mounted his stallion and rode off, this time down a track lined with trees and shrubs. Worry seized him as he imagined Bella riding down this path in the darkness and the loneliness of night. Desperation held him as he wished to change time but he knew there was no going back...and then he saw it, a piece of cloth on the bushes and he pulled his horse to a sudden halt. He leant forward and took the cotton between his fingers and inspected it but was not sure if it belonged to Bella so he continued until the dense vegetation cleared and the noon day sun shone, illuminating a silver object on the ground beside the road.

It was the silver cameo he had bought her for her birthday...it was dirty and blood covered the ribbon. He knew it was hers because he had sketched her initials into the gold. As his eyes fell on those marks he cried...savage painful tears as his mind rebelled, thinking she was indeed dead. Frantically, he searched the balance of the afternoon until the sun started to set and he accepted his failure and turned his horse back to Ryantown.

His eyes were dry and his mind numb. The words he had rehearsed in his mind chilled his heart. How could he tell Renee he had not found her daughter?

In the stillness of early evening, Edward opened Renee's back door, his face of anguish telling the story of loss. A hopeful smile in greeting became a landscape of agony as she cried in his arms, so many tears she forcefully willed their cessation, needing to prepare food to appease Edward's churning, sickening hunger. They did not speak although words of comfort came to mind but the effort ended before the words were spoken as each felt unsure of Bella's safety.

'A fresh horse and I will be going!' he told her as he rose from the table. She handed him the packed saddle bags and she spoke the silent vow he had made so many times during the past terrifying hours.

'Edward, bring her home...I beg you, bring my daughter home!'

Sincerely, he spoke his promise and hurried to his place of business. The street was unusually quiet as a storm gathered, rushing in from the west. The creak of the wooden door sounded loudly as it banged with the force of the wind. Edward called a name...the name of his apprentice. Startled, the young man rushed from the barn.

'Edward, what is it? Bella...where is she?' Painful questions flew from the mouth of the concerned apprentice but the hurried interrogation was silenced by the look in Edward's eyes.

'Stephen...I am leaving...take care of the business for me. Bella is missing. I do not know when I will be back...if I never return...the business is yours,' the words were barely audible as Edward rushed to his other horse, the black stallion he had only just broken in.

'Pass me the bridle, quickly!'

They did not speak as the horse was saddled and Edward took a change of clothes, all the money he had, his rifle, guns, knife and the painted image of Bella he kept beside his bed.

'Good luck!' Stephen encouraged as they shook hands, and, as quickly as he had returned, Edward was gone to leave the young man watch the door bang suddenly with the increasing wind as Stephen wondered where Bella could be... how long would Edward be gone?

The same questions Renee tried not to think about over the many despairing months, hope being a dangerous commodity. She offered her prayers daily...hopefully and a glimmer of light held her up as did the prayers and hopes of Edward...so far from home, so many months, wandering, searching, never giving up as he gazed into the faces of young dark haired women.

Seven months had passed so slowly and as he lay on the hard earth gazing at the stars unable to sleep, Edward felt his guilt hold him...guilt for the past he had just remembered so vividly. A tear, which fell from his eye, was wiped away impatiently as he sighed and a knowing smile covered his features. His smile held the knowledge of acceptance, due punishment for his crime and suddenly, he welcomed his suffering. Wasn't he guilty of betrayal...putting himself into a situation where he had been used and manipulated? Humbly, be blamed himself for the day he had gone to the saloon and agreed to re-nuptial celebrations. The glass should never have been raised to his lips...he did not indulge in strong liquor as Carlisle had warned him so many times.

'Keep away from that saloon, son,' Carlisle had said, it seemed so long ago now. 'Strong drink will destroy your mind and your reasoning, son, believe me, I have witness of it,' Carlisle had counselled but the lesson had not been learnt.

'Forgive me.' the remorseful words came from his lips as Edward wondered who would forgive him. Carlisle for a lesson not learnt, Bella for a betrayal so cruel or Renee for the loss of a daughter so dear. The sound of Bella's name passed his lips as his eyelids fell heavily in sleep and a single tear...a tear for the past travelled the smooth course of his face as the wind gusted around him and the night birds screeched.

Twenty-One

The fine, crusty white perspiration of hard riding covered the damp coats of the horses as Edward and his companion travelled across the land of canyons. Both men felt draining tiredness but rode on relentlessly, just one mile further to the point of exhaustion. They had ridden hard all day and the late afternoon sun streamed its scorching rays of fire onto the men's backs, sapping the remains of their energy.

Edward wiped the moisture from across his forehead and squinted into the distance. His hat flew off in a sudden gust of wind which circled and swirled through the rocky canyon and, as he stopped to retrieve it, he gazed at the sentinel of light, imagining cool streams, waterfalls and most of all, a bath...a long, languid soak. He had been dirty for so long!

A gathering storm on the horizon, the thickening of the clouds, warned the men of the approaching storm and they raced ahead of it but within minutes it overtook them and the dusk lit sky darkened. Lightning flashed, the thunder rumbled as the men surveyed the brewing clouds and the fierce statements of nature.

William noticed a farmhouse just visible in the distance and they kicked their horses into a gallop, the need for safety paramount as the wildness of the storm raged around them. The cottage lights shone brightly as they approached and the wind driven rain pelted like bullets, biting into their skin as they thundered across the ground, one goal in mind. Welcoming aromas of fire smoke and cooking food enticed them as did the happy stream of light from the window. They laughed with relief as they lodged their horses in the stable and ran to the front porch, shaking the rain from their hats and coats, hanging them on the hooks. Their knock was desperate, pleading and the door was opened by a fresh faced, pretty girl of fourteen or fifteen. She gasped, staring into Edward's eyes as she noticed the handsome line of his face.

'Where are your manners, girl? Ask them in out of that storm!' a male voice spoke loudly.

The girl appeared to be nervous as she spoke to them. 'Come in. Where are your horses?'

She tried to compose herself but she continued to stare at Edward, unable to take her eyes from him.

'We took the liberty of finding your stable,' Edward told her, taking the gold coin from his money pouch wishing to pay for the use of the stable and the horse feed.

'Best see my pa 'bout that,' the girl said, pointing to the old man who smiled at them as he rocked in his chair before the fire.

'Come in, come in,' he said, rising to his shaky feet. 'The fire will warm you and dry your clothes. Are you hungry? Care for lodging for the night? You can bunk in the barn with your horses.'

The invitation was given as the lid was lifted from the pot of soup and the aroma wafted across the room, turning the travellers' stomachs into spasms of hunger. The girl smiled as she pulled out chairs for Edward and William, placing bowls before them as well as the freshly made warm bread.

'A good cook, this one...a fine wife she'll make, she's fit and ready to go. Need a wife, son?' the question came, addressed to Edward and he almost choked on his first spoonful of soup.

The sweet doe-eyed expression chilled Edward's heart and William chortled trying to suppress his mirth.

'I am engaged to be married!' Edward spoke, saving himself but the sweet face expressed disappointment and a young man laughed as he entered the room through the back door.

'Is Pa trying to marry Maria off again?' the teenager asked. 'I thought we almost had Jasper Travers but he's in love with the gypsy...or so the gossip in town says.'

'The gypsy?' William enquired. 'I have not seen any gypsies around here...haven't passed any on the way, either!'

His eyes travelled to the sad, crestfallen face of young Maria who spoke vehemently.

'You mean the whore!'

'Yea...the whore...Maria thought she had 'im but he saw the new whore at Angela's and he's head over heels. Haven't seen her me self but the tale is she's a beauty...long, raven hair, green eyes and the body of a goddess...has no memory or she's mad they say, sold by bandits they said, probably had their way with her, I reckon!'

'She's only fit for whoring now!' the old man said, shaking his head and Edward winced, feeling pity for the gypsy as a nervous feeling gripped his stomach and he felt faint.

He touched the picture of Bella in his shirt pocket as he tried to dispel the fear lurking in his mind.

'How old is she?' Edward needed to know as the thought gathered, growing in intensity as the storm which had driven them to this homestead for shelter. Edward's brown eyes turned to the colour of jet as intense emotions held sway on his heart.

The old man drew on his pipe, creating clouds of smoke around him as he pondered the question.

'Oh, reckon she's young...not much older than this one,' the old man said, pointing to his daughter who sat sullenly in the corner.

'The gossip goes that Travers wants to marry her when he's dug up enough gold to buy her from Angela!'

'Marry a whore?' Maria asked indignantly, 'he wouldn't, would he Pa...he'll risk his own soul?' the young girl screeched in a whining voice and the old man nodded his head as he agreed.

'Fool, if he did!' the old man said, as his offspring mutely agreed with him, although the teenage boy knew he would gladly have the dark haired gypsy if he had the opportunity.

Edward stared at the ranchers as he became increasingly impatient with their narrow-minded, critical conversation.

'Anyone seen her?' Edward asked as he took Bella's portrait from his pocket. 'Is this her?' he asked, holding it in front of the old man's squinting eyes.

'Yep, looks like her...but the old eyes ain't what they used to be...could be wrong...the young'uns ain't seen her...only me,' the old man answered then put his pipe into his mouth again.

Resolutely, Edward walked to the front door as Maria jumped up and grabbed his arm.

'Oh! no, you ain't going?'

Disdainfully, he released her arm not answering her questions as he opened the door and pulled on his coat.

'There is a town near? I gather that is where the whorehouse is?' William queried as Maria frowned, addressing Edward.

'You're like the rest...you want the whore!'

Edward's annoyance was obvious as he adjusted his hat and turned to answer the question he knew had been directed to him.

'No, I do not want to bed a whore...or you for that matter. I told you I am engaged!'

'Thanks for your hospitality!' William said placing the gold coin for the meal on the table as Edward left the porch, heading in the direction of the stable.

'Sure you don't want to bed down for the night?' the old man asked, 'seems like the storm's here to stay!' he said as the rain fell heavily on the old tin roof.

Maria smiled becomingly at William, hoping to convince him so that handsome young stranger would stay the night but William shook his head.

'The young one's determined to leave...best be going!'

He tipped his hat fare-welling the family as he closed the door behind him, suddenly wishing for the meagre shelter and warmth of the old stable...at least it was dry and warm. William stared into the night and the wild, windswept rain. He hurried to the stable and took the reins of his horse Edward handed to him. The look in Edward's eyes was warning enough as William silenced the questions he wished to ask.

Edward's own questions scorched his mind and in response to his urgency, his stallion flew across the ground onto the marked road, closer and closer to Diamond Gully.

Grateful for the full moon, which suddenly appeared from behind the rushing clouds, William struggled to keep up with his companion whose determination seemed to be verging on a state of insanity. William guessed Edward's thoughts as he watched his disappearing form melt into the raging storm, pelting rain and gathering darkness.

Driven by an unknown fear, Edward pushed his animal to the limit of his endurance and William feared for all of them. He called his companion's name into the wind, hoping Edward would hear him but his pace was as a whirling projectile as he swooped down on the town, not stopping until he had pulled his horse to a stop in front of the bordello. Wet and cold, his eyes scanned the building before him as he read the words, 'the Pleasure Palace' and his fear constricted his throat.

All the months of searching surged into his mind and he took her picture from his pocket. Suddenly, he laughed, sadly...strangely and he told himself he was a fool. The rancher had been mistaken. The old man had said his eyes were bad. She would not be here. She would not be the whore spoken of by the ranchers.

For so long he had sought her...to find her...to bring her home but something constricted his heart when he thought of her as a whore. He could not accept this thought as reality as he shook the rain from his hat and removed his long jacket as he pushed the doors open and walked into the bordello.

In a rush, William followed him struggling up the steps, trying to keep up.

'Come on, slow down!' William yelled, rushing after Edward who was impetuous, young and determined.

His eyes burnt as darkened coals of flame as he turned to face William. Edward did not speak and there was no need, as William read the feelings pouring from Edward's soul. Holding his breath, Edward pushed the door open.

Soft lights, gleaming chandeliers and potted plants pleased the eye as the music was loud and vibrant. Men were grouped in a corner, stamping their feet, clapping their hands in time to the music of a guitar. The dancer was hidden from Edward's view and he again told himself he was a fool. Why would Bella be here? If she had lost her memory, she would be safe as a husband would have claimed her...but this thought suddenly terrified Edward as much as the thought of Bella being a piece of merchandise to be bought, used and thrown away.

Edward watched William join the men around the dancing whore and he could only see her black hair as fear turned his aching stomach into knots of agonising anticipation and he sought the safety of a wall to lean on. He gazed around the room but he could not see her and his vision returned to the entertainment in the corner and the expressions on the faces of the men.

Suddenly, the dance ended as coins were thrown eagerly received by the dark haired woman, now visible to Edward's gaze as the crowd dispersed. Her hair was very long, straight and very dark, almost jet and her limbs were long and slim. William stood before her handing her a gold coin and she smiled at him, taking the gold into her hand.

Edward stared, seeing her face...her sweet face, the face of his Bella. His hands shook, his legs buckled beneath him as he sat on the floor. He felt as if would faint and nausea rose to his throat but he denied the truth as he managed to rise, then he walked to the bar, noticing William followed him. Observing the paleness of his friend's face, William took Edward by the arm, supporting him until they sat on stools.

'She is more beautiful than the painting you have of her,' William commented, sure of her identity. 'Now I understand your quest, young man.'

Edward stared at his friend unable to speak. His eyes travelled to her as his heart constricted in his chest.

'What are you drinking?' the barman asked him but Edward could not speak.

'Water for the both of us,' William answered as Edward suddenly took his eyes from Bella and found his voice.

'Who is she?' His question was directed at the barman who did not answer at first.

'Who is who?' Eli eventually replied, being evasive although he knew to whom the man was referring.

'The dancer...who is she? Is she the gypsy?' Edward asked, desperation holding his heart in its tenacious grasp.

'Her name is 'Isabella'. What is it to you?' Eli replied. 'She is my friend, if you wish her harm; you will have me to deal with!'

The name struck Edward as a knife wound. 'Isabella Swan'. He had been told she had no memory. Why was she called Isabella then? The thought terrified him that she knew him and was set about breaking his heart like he done hers.

'She has a last name?'

Eli stared at the young man and annoyance creased his brow but he answered him anyway.

'She has no last name...she has amnesia'. Eli's eyes travelled to Bella as she hurried to speak to him. Edward stared at her as she spoke and he could hardly believe he had finally found her.

'My friend, my dear friend, look at the coins. I can buy my freedom soon. Is that not wonderful? Jasper has promised to help me...he tells me he is digging more gold out each day!'

Eli's smile was broad and joyous to see the happiness shining in her eyes after the long illness of her mind. He noticed the man who had questioned him about her, standing beside her, watching her avidly. Eli's eyes wandered to Edward and Bella's eyes curiously followed the direction of her friend's gaze.

Her mouth dropped open as her heart constricted with a total impossibility...recognition? Edward witnessed the look in her eyes...she knew him! For seconds of agonising tension she stared at him, then turned and hurried away up the stairs to her room, to safety and sanity but she was wrong.

Was she losing her mind? She fell into her chair, feeling more confused than ever. A burning hope surged forth through her fear and dismay.

'His face...I know him!' she thought, but suddenly became unsure now as the past lurched in front of her. She searched her mind for memories but she only had her dreams! He had held her so tenderly and kissed her, spoken words of joy and love. Yes, she knew...it was him! Who was he? Husband...no, that could not be possible for she knew she had been a virgin when Jacobhad taken her to wife. Was he a fiancée...a friend?

Eager to see him, she dressed quickly. He could tell her who she was, she was sure of it! The questions flew in her mind like soaring birds, faster than she could make sense of them. She pulled on her ball gown and brushed her hair, combing it up and securing it with her combs. Anticipation surged her onward to her past and she rushed down the stairs but he was gone, desperation making him seek some fresh air to clear his mind.

He paced up and down the street, agitation filling him with adrenalin.

'Edward you are acting so strangely. She is the one you seek, she is the image of your picture but even more beautiful! Tell me, what ails you?' William prompted Edward who turned his tear strewn face to his friend.

'Yes, she is Bella...my love, my intended bride. But I am distraught. I should be delirious with happiness but I feel...I feel despair to the pit of my stomach!'

Edward tried unsuccessfully to suppress the tears brimming in his eyes. 'I have dreamt of this moment for so long but now I am so confused at the feelings that are tearing me apart!'

'You cannot blame the girl, Edward. You cannot blame her for whoring herself...seems to me she had no choice!' William advised, staring at his friend and demanding an answer.

'No, you misunderstand me! I do not blame her. I brought her to this when I broke her heart. Now, I am confused. She seemed to recognise me but she is supposed to have amnesia. Oh! William I do not understand!'

The expressions on the young face saddened William and he turned Edward in the direction of the whorehouse.

'Let us sort this out!'


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

They scanned the room before them but they could not see her and then Edward's sharp intake of breath told William she had been found. She stood beside a young man holding his arm, smiling sweetly and jealousy raged in Edward's mind...unchecked, dangerously savage jealousy...feelings he had never experienced before. He had never expected this...never anticipated that she would not know him when he found her.

The reality was altogether different from the scenario he had imagined and day-dreamed about. Did she remember him? Remember everything? Was this his punishment? His heart tore to millions of pieces as he walked towards her, his eyes drinking in the sight of her.

'What a beauty she is. Have I forgotten just how lovely she is?' he thought. Her hair delighted him and his eyes travelled to the soft curve of her nape, her graceful neck and the slender femininity of her shoulders.

She had her back turned to him, intently seeking the company of the young man and Edward guessed he was the man the ranchers had spoken about. Edward stared; suffocating, hardly breathing and his jealousy drowned him with longing as his eyes wandered the length of her and back again. His soul ached to have the knowledge she would be his again. His mind travelled to the past...their plans and promises...vows of chastity to wait for their marriage and a deep, burning pain filled his mind, knowing he had not been the only one to love her, as he had planned.

Moving closer to her, he wilfully disregarded the warning signals from William. Edward was oblivious to the danger of displaying his affections so openly...loving her so desperately, it was physically painful. He continued to stare, drawing attention to himself as he set about his quest to take her for his own again. His despair had instantly flown on the wings of anticipation as a grim determination had taken hold of him and he knew there was only one choice...his chance for happiness and she was standing before him...a picture of feminine beauty.

He tried to find a change in her as he stared intently but he realised, there was none, only a loveliness he could not deny and he longed to hold her in his arms. So close to her, the fragrance of lavender arrested his senses, surfacing poignant memories flashing before his mind's eyes of her standing beside her lavender garden in her backyard...picking the blooms, rubbing her face in them...making him help her to hang them in the barn so she could extract the oils to make her perfumes. The poignant memories brought a smile to his lips.

But as suddenly as it had appeared, it was gone as he saw her hold the man's hand and kiss his cheek. Edward moved closer to hear the conversation.

'Thank you for being here for me, Jasper. I would be lost without you. There is something of importance I have to tell you but we'll have to talk later...Angela's coming!'

Suddenly, she turned from Jasper, colliding with Edward. She felt the firmness of his midriff muscles as her hand rested against his body and his hand fell protectively on her waist. Their eyes locked, magnetising them together as warmth flooded her body. A sudden flutter invaded her stomach and her heart pounded. Blushing, she suddenly pulled away from him, walking to the table where the chess game was always played.

'Who is he?' the thoughts whirled in her mind as she examined the strange feelings churning in her stomach, the butterflies of nervousness and the flush to her senses she had no memory of experiencing before, even with Jacob. She needed answers as she had to know who he was? Who she was? She knew at that moment he was more than a friend...the sensual attraction between them in that instant had been powerful, so powerful and she knew then that she had loved him and he, her.

Time was against her knowing the truth as Angela yelled, 'Gentlemen, gentlemen, take your wagers. Isabella is ready to play. Who will win her tonight, hey, gentlemen? Her winning streak has to end soon. Who wants a whole night with her? Come on, gentlemen, pay your wagers!'

Bella hung her head in shame as Edward's jealousy soared to furious proportions as a huge, surly man pushed his way to the front of the crowd.

'I've had it with this game, Angela. Twenty dollars I've wasted trying to bed the wench. Why does she have her choice each night? That young skinny prospector over there, look at him! What does he have that she wants?' Cyril Beauregarde yelled, pointing to Jasper Travers who stood near Bella.

'What's so special 'bout 'im. What about me, baby?' Cyril screamed at Bella, lurching for her.

Jasper stepped in front of the table, protecting Bella as Edward moved in, touching his revolver.

Cyril continued to snarl, falling drunkenly over a table, then collapsing in a chair.

'Velvet! over here, girl...take him upstairs, calm him down, there's a good girl!' Angela ordered and the prostitute winced.

Voices increased in volume as all discussed the drunken southerner but Angela seized control.

'Now, now, back to business, gentlemen. Pay your money and let the game begin!'

'Game, what game?' Edward wondered as his eyes travelled to the table where Bella had been seated by Jasper Travers. 'Chess? I taught her to play chess!' Edward thought and the memories flew like missiles of torment. 'But...but this is not possible! How can she remember the game when she has amnesia?'

His mind whirled with confusion as a headache grew building intensity as William came up to him.

'Are you not putting your name down? Come on. If my memory serves me right, you told me you taught Bella to play chess. Well come on, then, play her!'

Furrows of frustration multiplied as Edward rubbed his aching forehead.

'But, I do not understand, William. How can she remember the chess? Is she pretending not to know me as some sort of perverted revenge?'

Edward's expression was pleading, begging William for answers he could not give.

'Now listen, son,' William advised, 'in my line of thinking your priority is to win her...save her from this. You said you are certain she is Bella...well go and win her!'

Pushing his fears aside, Edward walked to the Madam and paid the required fee. A woman approached him, giving all manner of enticements as she took his arm, almost purring into his ear, 'What is a gorgeous specimen of man doing without a woman at your side? Why do you want to play her? You are wasting your money. She always wins.'

The look in her eyes sickened him and he released her hold on his arm. Angrily, she walked away but he was oblivious to her chagrin as he stared at Bella where she sat silently, still as a mouse, her head bent.

Eli talked to her and Edward moved in trying to hear the conversation but his efforts were to no avail.

'Gentlemen, the first draw is 'Ryan Clark', then 'Rex Smyth and, the third, 'Edward Cullen'. The words spoken turned Edward's stomach and a nervous sweat covered his skin. He retreated to the bar and watched her intently focusing on the game as she played her opponent...expertly! Quickly, the first opponent was dispatched and then the second as Edward marvelled at her increased talent. Finally, it was his turn and he took the seat opposite her.

Questioning brown eyes watched him intently as nervousness controlled her. Dreams filled her mind and she remembered his name. In her dreams she had called him 'Edward'.

'Who is he to me?' she thought again and this time she rushed in with her words, words demanding and needing answers.

'Who am I? You know who I am! I know you do. I can feel it in my heart. I used to know you? Are you Edward? I loved you?'

Her look was serious and determined as she clenched and unclenched her hands. The choice of her word 'loved' pulled at his heart strings but he tried to smile.

'Yes, I am Edward and we loved...I still love you. You are Isabella Swan but you like to be called 'Bella'. You were to become my wife!'

'My real name is 'Isabella'...how strange?'

She mumbled something quietly and Edward heard the name Jacob but he did not understand. Bella smiled as the knowledge she had desired for so long filled her mind and her tears fell.

'Bella...my name is Bella?' She tried to suppress her tears but she was unsuccessful as they poured down her cheeks.

'I have wanted for so long to know who I am. It is terrifying to have no memories, not even my own name.'

Suddenly, a cold voice startled her, making her jump and she turned to see Angela beside her.

'What is wrong with you girl? Has the man upset you? Pull yourself together and begin the game!'

The words were an order, not to be disobeyed and Bella rubbed the moisture from her cheeks as she moved the first pawn, then waited for Angela to leave before she spoke her words of vital importance.

'You have to rescue me from her! Is that why you are here? If you win the game, I am lost. It is Angela's intentions to make me a whore like the rest of them and I will die first. I have stalled her this long but if you win, I am lost.'

The nervous twitch around her mouth and eyes worried him as did the tears starting to run down her cheeks. His heart bled for her, for her fear.

'I will not allow them to have you. You are mine and I am taking you home!'

His words of strength and sincerity made her feel faint with relief and she managed to smile.

'It is irrelevant if you win, or I win for if I win, I will be with you for the night. If not, you can choose me as they have said, you have chosen Travers!'

His jealous words scorched him and he tried to hide his temper as he wondered at her choice of words indicating she had not become a whore. How could that be if she had chosen Travers?

She stared at him and became mesmerized. Words she wanted to say would not come and then it was too late as Angela swiftly arrived beside them again.

'You are delaying this game, Isabella. I told you to begin!'

Bella remained silent but Edward answered for her and his tone was firm as he cleverly kept his annoyance in abeyance.

'Isabella has made her first move, Madam. It is my turn!'

Angela smiled as she left them and Bella was grateful for his interference.

Concentration held them and they played expertly, falling into the old familiar patterns of the game, the result of so many hours, for so many years. A crowd gathered around them eager to see the whore lose but the game became a marathon as Edward and Bella battled wits, drawing stimulation from the competition. The hours passed and the spectators lost interest except for William, Jasper, Eli, and Angela.

Suspicion held Bella's mind and even though she had dreamt of him, she was on her guard and wary. Even if he was who he said he was...her fiancé, Bella realised she still needed to win! She did not trust him. What if he changed his mind and left her here? Concentrating, she put his King into checkmate, winning the game. He stared at her triumphant smile and the tears glistening in her eyes.

'You play better than I remember!' he told her, frowning and his annoyance was obvious. He had expected to win or for her to let him win but he had underestimated her.

She watched the disdainful expression on his face and she despaired, remembering the cruel words of Angela denying that there was anyone in the world who loved her or wanted her. She told herself he did not really love her...he was lying.

His own insecurity held him as he thought she did not want him now she was the prospector's lover. Perhaps she had fallen in love with Travers? These thoughts terrified him and he watched her rise from the chair to leave the table. Intensely, his eyes followed her and his jealousy flared as she took the arm of the prospector, smiling at him. The noisy, smoke filled room suddenly became suffocating as Edward signalled to William at the bar and they both left the bordello.

She watched him leave as her lips trembled but she wanted some time to think...to be alone but she needed a customer, so impulsively she asked Jasper to accompany her. She needed his company and his advice.

'He has come to take me to my home. He says my name is Bella!' Her words were pure joy, despite her previous insecurity.

Sadness lurked in his eyes as he had to ask the question he feared.

'Who is he to you? He claims you?'

'He says we were to marry.'

'Do you love him?' the question came suddenly as Jasper's heart was in his throat,

knowing he was losing her.

'I do not know, Jasper. All that is important now is that he can take me to my family. I am sorry Jasper. You are my friend. You will always be my friend!'

'Is that all I will ever be to you, Isabella? I mean, Bella...a friend? I want to be your husband. Please marry me, Bella.'

'Jasper, I cannot. Not now. It is true...I had considered it when you had taken me from this place but not now. Do you understand? He knows my past. He can take me to my home. Perhaps, then I will remember it.'

Sadly, Jasper nodded his head knowing if he loved her he had to let her go.

'Do not abandon me now Jasper. I still need you. You are my friend.'

'I will always be your friend, Bella,' he replied and he held her to him, reassuring her of his devotion. His love warmed her life and she told him she would be forever grateful for all he had done for her. His words had brought tears to her eyes and she smiled as she held his hand as they sat quietly in her room and discussed the import of her really going to her home.

During this time Edward re-entered the bordello seeking her, hoping she would chose him for the evening. His eyes blackened and his fists clenched as the Madam informed him Bella had already chosen her customer for the evening, having retired to her room. William steered him outside again and they walked the gold town's streets as Edward's tears fell. Frustration consumed him, churning his stomach.

'She chose him, William. I cannot believe it! I told her who I was and she has chosen the prospector! I have to marry her tonight before I lose her.'

His impulsive words startled his friend. 'Not so quickly, Edward. Take her home first. Then see about the marriage!'

'No, William...this is what I want but how do I get her out of there or get a preacher up to her room!'

William's smile was a surprise to Edward as the answer to his question came suddenly. 'I have never told you about my past, Edward...I had my own parish and my own congregation but the drought wiped out their crops and eventually they all left town, including myself and that's when you found me, beaten and left for dead by those bandits. I thought of starting up again to serve God but suddenly I felt my path was intertwined with yours. I can marry you and her, if that is your wish!'

Finally, a smile returned to Edward's face as he re-entered the bordello, making his plans. He approached Angela, paying her an exorbitant amount for Bella. He found her beside Travers and as he suppressed his jealousy, he told her he had to take her to her room, to talk.

_Chapter 6_

Their questions were unspoken as they walked silently up the stairs, down the hall to Bella's room. Before the door was locked, he reached for her, pulling her into his arms.

Her reaction was fast, a subconscious reaction as she struck out wildly, hitting his thigh just missing his groin. Winded, he sat in the chair, his emotions in turmoil...his mind in agony. He did not speak for several moments as he tried to control his temper and then, using all the calm he could, he questioned her.

'Why did you do that and why did you look like you remembered me. Why do they call you 'Isabella'? Bella, is this a game?'

He was suspicious as he eyed her, not recognising the woman standing before him. He noticed the fear in her eyes and the nervous stance of her body.

Suddenly, she turned away from him and it was many moments before she could speak.

'Jacob named me for his mother. I do not remember you. I have amnesia. I have dreamt of you. The first time was over six months ago and many times since then. When I saw you it startled me for I know your face and I have heard your name in my dreams...that is all.'

Edward felt annoyed hearing another man's name. 'Jacob', who was he? Another lover?

She turned to him and he could see the annoyance in her gaze as she silently digested his choice of word 'game'. Was this miserable life of hers a game? She wanted to commence an angry tirade against him but he had said he was her fiancé...he was taking her home and she could not risk him abandoning her. The pleading in her eyes pulled at his heart strings as she spoke.

'What happened to me?'

He gulped at her question, knowing she deserved the truth but suddenly realising he was incapable of delivering it.

'You disappeared on our wedding eve,' he told her, feeling ill with remorse.

'For years...has it been years? It seems an eternity. As far as I have guessed I have had no memory for seven months. It seems so long.'

Edward stared, falling so deeper in love as her sad beautiful brown eyes captivated him and he wished to hold her in his arms but a fear lurked...a worry as he puzzled why she had attacked him. Thoughts flew as missiles, careering around his mind, tormenting him as he remembered the ranchers' tale of bandits selling her, abusing her! What had happened to her?

'I have missed you so terribly. For seven months, I have been searching for you,' he said as he pulled the picture out of his pocket to show her.

'You were sixteen there, on your birthday, the 6th of November. That was last year. You will be eighteen year old next year. I have wanted so long to marry you but your mother insisted you had to be seventeen.'

He witnessed the tears in her eyes as she stared at her picture and suddenly he rose from his chair, desperately wanting to hold her, kiss her. These conversations were making him crazy. He was still confused...suspicion claimed his rationality as he felt vulnerable, not understanding how she could have amnesia and play chess so expertly. Was this her revenge? Was she acting? His thoughts were uncharacteristic and illogical when he should have just been happy that he was with her but he wanted answers to the things he could not understand.

'If you cannot remember anything, not me or your life before...why chess of all things?'

Uneasily, her hand rested on her thigh, caressing her knife as she observed his aggressive stance. She was like a wild cat ready to pounce if it was necessary.

'That question has puzzled me for a long time. All I can remember is chess and I make the greatest apple pies. Do you know why?'

Her look was sincere and the honesty shone from her countenance like a beacon and he felt doubly guilty. She walked to the window and gazed out onto the dusty street of Diamond Gully, then she turned and sighed.

'What happened to me, Edward? Do you know?'

Her questions were innocent. She did not know and suddenly he did not want her to know.

'You went out riding...you never came home...only your horse.'

His stomach lurched and his guilt scorched him like fire. Nervously, he walked towards her, closer, enough to touch her but her fear warned him as he witnessed the haunted expression in her eyes. His hand fell to his side and she turned away from him, wearily supporting her head in her hands as a headache throbbed and tormented...then silence...heavy and enfolding, crisp with tension.

'Do you love him? Is he your lover?'

His words startled her and she turned to face him. She observed the twitch near his eyes and the hard line of his lips.

'If you mean Jasper Travers...no, I do not love him. I depend on him. There is no man. I want no man,' she replied angrily, pulling her woollen shawl around her shoulders as a shudder of disgust scorched her with revulsion.

'But, they say...,' Edward said, beginning to disbelieve her words but she interrupted him with her truth.

'Just what I wanted Angela to think...Jasper is my friend. He has been a gentleman from the beginning. I did not...I could not...I...' Her words ended disjointedly as the huge imaginary box she held in her mind started to ooze all the painful memories from the past she tried to keep in there and she could almost feel the hands of evil intent upon her. Her stomach heaved as she felt faint. She sat down on the bed.

He waited for more words but her dialogue disappeared as she struggled to push the

memories back where she could almost forget them.

For a long time, she sat there...staring into nothing and then she rose and walked to the window, gazing out into the dusty street she knew so well. Scorching tears fell relentlessly down her cheeks.

'Can we talk about it? A gypsy...you are a gypsy, you were with gypsies?'

So many questions...his mind whirled as he wondered who had been the one to love her, instead of him. Had the bandits raped her? Had a gypsy loved her? Jealous thoughts tore his heart and he had to know.

She stared, not answering and his patience wore thin.

'Did they hurt you?'

Her lips quivered as she remembered all the hurts, all the bruises and her temper flared.

'Which ones?' she asked, sarcasm heavy in her voice. 'So many have hurt me. Was it perhaps the horse which threw me or whatever, as I do not remember that...just suffered a head injury for months? Or was it mad Victoria's knife attack or maybe, the bandit who tried to rape me but I stabbed him and made him cringe only momentarily as his compatriots subdued me? Or the lasso that pulled me off my horse? And then they beat me and kicked me but one thing, they never raped me...only starved me, shot me, terrorised me!'

Her words finished on a high pitch wail and then she turned away, bursting into heavy sobs which tore Edward's heart as his mind digested the tale of terror and the evidence of her instability.

'Oh! I forgot about Angela's guards. They always found me and brought me back. They beat me and chained me. They tried...' Her words ended in a sob as she could not verbalise what the guards had tried and intended to do to her. She started to cry again as anxiety gripped her stomach as she wanted to flee, somewhere to run and hide and forget the memories.

'Where were you?' she sobbed and her words tore his heart as he would have moved mountains to have been able to save her.

Her tale of abuse terrified him and his guilt seized his heart, squeezing...constricting until he felt he could hardly breathe. He watched her crawl onto the bed, wrapping the voluminous quilt around her. Her sobs sounded deep and muffled. His soul grieved for her and condemned him. Shame flooded his senses as he became resolute in his plan to take her home, to somehow heal her pain.

Sounds of giggling women and intoxicated customers wafted along the hall to the rooms, an argument in the street and then gunfire, the screech of an owl and the bellowing of a cow bombarded his mind as mental images of Bella's suffering tormented him. He pressed his hands to his temples to try to physically dispel the imaginings but they persisted. Despondently, he slumped in the chair, holding his head in his hands and his tears flowed, silently, hopelessly, as he pondered how he would be able to help her. She treated him as her enemy and he cursed the people who had hurt her so she was so different from the Bella he had known. Sighing, he lifted his head to gaze at her.

Silence prevailed as she slept curled in her quilt, protected by its warmth. A compelling urge motivated him as he approached her and shook her awake.

'Bella, Bella?' he prompted and she jumped up suddenly, her eyes wide with fear as she threatened him with her knife.

The look in her eyes was wild...like a cornered animal and his heart fell, realising the extent of the emotional damage she had sustained. At that moment, he wanted to protect her and take her home as his wife.

'Marry me?'

Her look was puzzled as she tried to comprehend his words.

'Marry you?' she queried as she yawned. 'Are you crazy? I do not know you. Perhaps the Bella I used to be wanted to marry you but I do not wish to. Take me to my mother. That is all I want!'

Her words frustrated him as she snuggled into her blanket again and closed her eyes.

'No, Bella, please. I have to marry you! If you will not agree, then I will have to use force. Marry me now or I will not take you home!'

His own words chilled his soul as he had reverted to blackmail to achieve his desires when he knew he would take her home under any circumstances.

She stared at him and frowned. 'You mean that? I have to marry you for you to get me out of here?'

The nod of his head was the answer he gave her and she replied with a disinterested shrug of her shoulders.

'So be it. If that is what it takes!' she said as she yawned sleepily.

Abruptly, Edward left the room before she changed her mind. Seeking William, he found him talking to Eli who plied Edward with questions.

'She is not well still. She has suffered incredibly. Are you being kind to her?'

Eli's words spiralled Edward's guilt but he answered the question. 'Of course, I love her. I would not harm her!'

'William, I have to speak with you. It is urgent.'

The friends talked together, conspiring how to get William to the top floor of the bordello. They both noticed the room was almost empty as the hour was getting late and most of the customers were either drunk or occupied...the Madam also seemed to be absent. While Eli left the main room, William hurried up the stairs with Edward to Bella's room. When they rushed into her room, she sat up quickly, her face full of fear as she held her knife before her.

'Oh, it is you!' she said and fell onto her pillows again.

William frowned and Edward shrugged his shoulders not knowing what to say.

'A ring? What about a ring?' William asked as he took his Bible from his coat pocket.

Edward smiled as he retracted the golden ring he had kept tied on a piece of leather around his neck. He had been keeping it, hoping he could give it to her. He remembered then when he had found it...in the grass before his cottage and guilt churned his stomach in knots.

William smiled as he spoke, solemnising the marriage between Bella and Edward as she sat on the bed, wrapped in her blanket, too tired and disinterested to move. As the marriage vows were exchanged, she yawned, lying against her pillows and she seemed to fall instantly asleep when the ceremony was concluded.

Edward stared at her amazed. Bella was certainly strange! Both men exchanged puzzled expressions then grew silent, especially William who did not know what to say, especially about 'kissing the bride'. William left Edward who continued to stare at her sleeping form, needing to lie beside her but he was afraid to disturb her. His need to be near her prompted his actions as he locked the door, not caring that the Madam would be annoyed that he would have all night instead of the allotted two hours. Removing his boots, he stretched out on the bed, feeling her so near, so close, so fragrant...so beautiful. He sighed wishing to hold her and love her but his punishment was fitting. Fate had dealt him a heavy blow and he struggled with the enormity of the situation...far from his waking dreams all the past months. He had found her and she did not know him and likewise, she did not want him. He closed his eyelids as he tried to go to sleep...to perhaps find some escape from this reality. Swiftly the answer came as he fell asleep beside her like he had done many times before in another place, another time.

In the first cloudy moments of waking Edward thought he was back in Denali and they had fallen asleep in his cottage after a marathon chess game. His eyes fell on paintings above him on the ceiling and he grew angry as he gazed around Bella's room in the bordello of Angela. Bella lay beside him, still asleep, cradled against him, her head on his shoulders and he smiled, wondering when she had snuggled into his arms or had he held her to him during the night, desperately needing to feel her physical presence.

His smile was tinged with sadness as he thought of the wedding night they had not had and the reality of their marriage day. The wonderful, joyous day they had planned was not theirs to have as they dealt with the situation life had thrown at them. He thought of the author of his sadness and he grimaced in fury, wishing revenge. A headache throbbed in his temples but he closed his eyes and eventually fell asleep.

_She walked beside him... a white virginal gown of marriage and she looked so beautiful. He took her hand to exchange their vows then suddenly, BANG! BANG! BANG! The sound came in his dream and he gazed around his wedding guests puzzled, then BANG! BANG! BANG!_

Suddenly awake, Edward jumped from Bella's bed as he realised someone was thumping on the door! He pulled on his boots, whistling as he opened the door in a rush.

Angela had started to walk away but then she turned and her eyes feasted on the handsomeness of Edward Cullen.

'You never paid for all night, so I figure you owe me!' she told him and he took the gold coins from his pocket, handing them to her as he closed the door.

He turned to see Bella in a frantic hurry, flinging her meagre possessions into a bag as she also tried to pull off her ball gown.

'Bella?' he started to ask but her sudden terrified expression stilled the words on his tongue.

'She let you pay to come up again, last night?' she asked as her heart caught in her throat and terror rushed alone her spine like a plague of death.

'Yes,' Edward told her, not understanding her fear. 'Bella, what is it? Why are you so afraid?'

She did not answer him as she pulled off her gown and hurriedly pulled on her blouse, skirt and boots. Throwing her bag over her shoulder, she rushed to the door.

'I am leaving with you now! If you paid her to have me last night that means she has gone back on her bargain. I told you about the deal I had made with her...she wants to whore me and I am not staying here one moment longer. You owe me, Edward. You said you came to take me home, well take me home then...now!'

Her determined stance and the defiance in her eyes worried Edward as he knew the strong will and pride Bella had in her personality. He recalled all the little arguments they had had over minor issues because of her strong will and he had learnt that Bella had to do what she wanted her way. Faced with her demands, his stomach churned in knots of apprehension knowing he could not take her until the night. Plans had to be made and goods obtained for their escape that evening.

'Bella, please...listen to me. You have to stay here...just for today. Then tonight, I will be back for you. I have to see Eli to make plans and seek his allegiance. Can I trust him? Will he wish to leave with us?'

Suddenly she could not answer him as emotions claimed her and she remained silent, her face sad, her lips pouted and he remembered that particular look as she struggled with her will to leave now although she knew he spoke the truth and his plan was sensible. More than anyone, Bella knew the deviousness of Angela and the strength and agility of her body guards. Edward's plan would have to be precise and they would have to be cunning to leave the town alive.

His smile unnerved her and sent her stomach into butterfly flutters as he held her hand.

'Trust me, Bella. I love you. I am sorry I did not find you before you had been hurt so terribly. Forces have been at work against us. The Madam is evil...listen to me, for this is the truth, I know. My companion, William, has been speaking to the barman at the saloon. Angela has lied to you, the bandit never escaped with the cash tin. You are free. She is cunning and she will not let you go easily. We have to be careful. Do you understand?'

He noticed the trembling of her lips and he wanted to kiss her, embrace her but his fear stalled his action. He hurried away, telling her to remember to lock the door.

She frowned, puzzling at his words...she was free? Angela had been lying all the time? Caressing her knife, intense feelings of hatred controlled her. She ran from her room, forgetting Edward's request, eager to find Eli to learn the truth from his lips...lips she trusted. She could not believe that Eli had known she had been free the whole time and had not told her. She did not believe he would do that.

When confronted with the truth, Eli's huge iridescent eyes misted to tears.

'The sly old dog. She told me one of the bandits had escaped with all her money and she had to keep you until you repaid her. My dear Isabella...I am so sorry.'

She started to cry and as he held her closely, he repeated his apology.

'Isabella, my dear Isabella. I am so sorry for you.'

'Bella...my name is Bella. The man, Edward Cullen...he knows me. He is taking me home...tonight! He is coming to see you...he wants you to come with us!'

Wonder filled Eli's countenance but was suddenly replaced by a suspicious fear. 'Do you believe he is who he says he is?'

'I believe him but I do not remember him...except for my dreams. He is the man in my dreams I told you about and I have to trust him...there is no other way. He says he loves me and he must mean it...look Eli', Bella said as she showed him the golden wedding band. 'He must be serious. We were married last night!'

'Last night…how can that be?'

'His friend, William, he is a preacher...or so he says. If it is the only way I can get out of here, then that is the way it has to be.'

Eli frowned, suddenly unsure but dedicated to protect his friend.

'Eli, please come with me...you can live with me, wherever that is!'

She seemed so happy...her infectious smile bringing a joyous smile to Eli's countenance as they sealed their pact to escape together.

Bella hurried to her room, to check her bag of possessions to prepare for her escape that night. So excited about her imminent departure to her past she forgot to lock her door. As she gazed at the dress from her past and the gypsy shirt Jacob had given her, she became sad, knowing her other possessions were in the hands of her enemy. Desperately she pondered how she could regain the items stolen from her. Suddenly feeling cold, she snuggled into her blankets and hugged her arms around herself, fully realising the import of Edward knowing her, wanting to take her to her home.

Immediately, happiness filled her mind knowing he had wanted to marry her and she stared at the wedding band on her finger, suddenly realising the joy of being wanted. Her happy smile drifted into the bliss of contentment as she fell asleep, hugging her pillow, peace finally chasing away her pain. Edward loved her...he was coming back for her...to take her away...far away.

_Chapter 7_

Edward wandered down the dusty dirty street in the wild, gold mining town and surveyed the buildings as well as the people, as if, for the first time. When he had stormed into the town the night before he had not noticed anything about the place he had come to. Bella had filled his mind and nothing else. Now, she was his prime concern but he was suddenly realistic, wary and on full alert, eager to make his escape with her successful. To his mind there was no alternative...he was going to take her home and that was the only reality. He thought of the joy he would bring to Renee when he returned Bella safely to her mother's arms with no memory unfortunately but alive and well, at least. He despaired for her memory loss but a small part of him, the coward in him, welcomed her amnesia as he had thought about it so many times, how could he tell her he had betrayed her especially when others had hurt her so terribly? Now he did not have to...her amnesia had taken care of that. He knew it was only affording him a little space until he worked things out...until they reached Denali at least. He knew he was being a coward as he felt ashamed but suddenly, he did not feel brave...only weak and inadequate.

His eyes travelled across the road to the saloon and the other old buildings. Squinting in the glare of the sun, he remembered the quaint, clean, tidy vibrant town of Denali with its cobble stone streets, gaily painted houses, flowers and gardens. Most of all, he missed the sea, the sand and the screeching of the sea birds. Feeling comforted that he would be home again soon, he walked into the saloon seeking out William and found him playing cards with a dubious collection of characters. Joining his friend at the table, Edward smiled at William who returned his greeting, eager to learn Edward's plans for their immediate departure. As Edward pulled up a chair beside William, a man stared at him.

'So you're the one who had the whore all night...you did not beat her at that stupid

game so that means she's fair game for us all. 'Bout time, too. We've all wanted her for months but she's had her choice and it was that prospector. Did ya enjoy yourself? She certainly looks like a tasty dish!'

Edward's green eyes glared dangerously and he rose from his seat, clenching his hands, wishing to rearrange the man's face but William noticed the furious gleam in Edward's eye and stalled his friend's anger as he whispered to him.

'He's not worth it, Edward...come on, let's get out of here!'

Edward's fury simmered as he used all his self control not to make the man eat his words.

William collected his winnings and walked out the door with Edward.

'When are we leaving?'

'Tonight...I am taking her home tonight! We have supplies to buy as we have a long journey in front of us!'

Even though Edward's words were excited William could see all was not well with the newlyweds. 'She still does not remember you?'

As they walked into the general store, the answer to his question was Edward's frown.

'She has been hurt so badly, William. She is really strange. I doubt she will ever be the same! Bella always had a fiery temper but this Bella is verging on hysteria and so afraid of me, I could not even kiss her!'

Suddenly, he fell silent as his own words saddened him.

William denied the questions he wished to ask as he sensed his friend's desire to remain silent. They purchased all the requirements they needed for the long journey as they talked to the shop owner about their 'prospecting trip'. Thinking of Bella, Edward turned suddenly in the doorway, his arms full of goods and he collided with Angela who fell against him, staring into his face, sighing like an adolescent in love.

'I'll be off in a day or two but I must have the gypsy again before I go. I will be there early tonight. All night, I want all night again and I will pay you handsomely to keep her just for me. Is that agreed?'

Edward forced the words from his throat as he acknowledged his real desires...to take Bella instantly and stop playing these games. He handed Angela the exorbitant payment as she smiled and her greedy thoughts spiralled imagining the wealth the gypsy would make for her over the years.

Edward turned away from her sickening grimace of rotten teeth as he hurried with William to his room in the saloon to deposit their purchases. Then, hungry and thirsty, they sought a meal. They ate and talked sporadically as Edward's thoughts of the unknown tormented him. Where had she been? Who had found her? If Jasper Travers was not her lover, then who had been or was she still a virgin? His thoughts whirled until his head throbbed and he wanted to sleep. He retired to their room and lay on the bed, tormenting thoughts possessing him until he wanted to scream. Sleep eluded him as the room seemed to close in on him and he suddenly needed space and fresh air. He had been in the wide open spaces for so long that the confinement of the small room stifled him.

Noticing William had fallen asleep, Edward silently left the room and wandered out onto the veranda of the saloon. He noticed Jasper Travers walking toward him, down the dusty street. His attitude was defiant and his look serious.

'We have to talk,' the words were spoken and Edward agreed, knowing instinctively that this man knew more about Bella's recent past than he did and this annoyed Edward who wanted to find out all he could about her.

They sought a table in the corner of the saloon and when they were seated, the questions flew from both sides.

'You claim her?' Jasper's question was to the point, demanding an answer he had suffered over all night.

'Yes and I will do everything in my power to take her home. I have a promise to her mother I have to keep!' Edward's answer was serious and then he fired his question.

'She is not your lover, then?'

'No, has she told you? That first night, I saw her. She played the game and won three times. I watched her as she sat all alone and she seemed so afraid. I will not lie to you...I have wanted her since I met her...she is so beautiful but I could see she was disturbed, any man with half a brain would have noticed that but the trouble around these parts there are not many men with quarter of a brain, let alone, a half. Anyway, that night Angela forced her to choose a customer and she was beside herself with fear. I begged her to choose me and we talked...that is all...she did not trust me...she did not believe me when I told her I only wanted to talk. She pulled her knife on me and I had the devil of a time getting her to put it away. She would not give it to me. She keeps it on her always...it is only a kitchen knife but she will not be parted from it.' His words ended as his face grew sad, knowing in his heart, he had lost her to the man sitting opposite him.

'You know everything that happened to her?' Edward stated, more than asked, needing confirmation of Bella's wild statements of the night before.

'Yes, she told me. She needed to talk it through...she has been and is still disturbed. Eli is her friend. I hate to think what would have happened to her if he had not befriended her.'

'Tell me what you know?' Edward demanded but Jasper shook his head.

'I am not the one to tell you...it is up to her.'

Edward's look was pure frustration and he hung his head.

'Last night she spoke of terrible things...so quickly, mind you. I could hardly understand what she said...bandits...mad Victoria...knives...beatings. What happened to her? Please tell me! Did those things really happen to her or has she lost her mind?'

'No, she is sane...just suffered too much. Her words are not lies...I believe her. I feel so sorry for her. If it helps, I will tell you but if you love her as much as I do, it will hurt. A gypsy found her, half dead on a road...how she got there she does not know. She was ill for a long time and he cared for her and loved her...he married her. Victoria tried to kill her but in the fight he was killed trying to defend her.'

'What?' Edward cut in as his jealousy seared him with pain. 'Husband...she had a husband...she married the gypsy?'

His angry jealousy was obvious to Jasper who defended Bella with his words.

'She did not remember you then. She still does not, does she? You cannot blame her. He found her and cared for her...Jacob his name was and he died defending her life, so be glad of it! He gave her more than you and I put together...a child...he gave her a child!'

Edward stared at Jasper as pain churned his stomach and he felt foolish. He was a man but he wanted to cry again. He did not feel strong or brave, even though he knew he was supposed to be.

'Child? She was having his child?' Edward's voice rose as he felt sick and faint.

'How did she get to be injured in the first place? What were you doing? If I had a woman like her, I would care for her as a precious pearl. Seems to me, there is more to this than I know. She has obviously forgotten it and you do not seem to be telling your side of the story!'

Paleness covered Edward's face as he gulped down his nausea. He felt vulnerable as if Jasper had glimpsed into his soul, into his guilty heart. Edward's eyes glinted dangerously, annoyed at Jasper's rebuke. With a steely glance he met Jasper's gaze as another question came.

'Is she your woman?'

'Yes!' Edward answered, sick to his heart that Bella had been someone else's wife before being his very own. Tears welled in his eyes and he forced them away.

'You love her?' Jasper continued to pry as Edward battled with his temper.

'Of course I love her...so you have no chance, Jasper. She loves me although she does not remember it yet. I am taking her home to Denali!'

Suddenly thoughts of betrayal filled Edward's mind and he leant forward in his seat as he spoke by way of warning.

'If you betray us to the Madam...I swear I will find you and make you pay!'

Jasper felt annoyed at Edward's insinuations 'What do you take me for? I wish Bella no harm. It would give me the greatest happiness to see her out of this hellhole. Sadly, it is not with me, as I planned but nonetheless, I glory in her freedom. You underestimate me, Edward Cullen!'

Jasper's stern words accelerated the guilt and remorse already raging in Edward's soul and he wondered how much more he could take. He rose to his feet and left the table. His head ached and he wanted to vomit. He rushed into the street and expelled his breakfast and sat on the porch of the saloon, holding his head in his hands. Listlessly, he sought the bed in William's room again and closed his eyes, wishing to sleep. William snored on the bed beside him as Edward battled with his grief, alone. Tears he had previously suppressed fell freely as he accepted the reality that his life would never be how he had planned it. Valuable learning lessons filled his mind as he realised he had shaped the course of his life...he and he alone. The consequence of his actions in the past fashioned the events now and he accepted he would live his life more wisely. Eventually, he fell asleep only to wake with a start. William shook him.

'Edward...it is almost sunset. We have plans to make and a certain slave of Angela's to see.'

Out in the street, Jasper crossed paths with Edward again and the glare in his eye warned Edward he had gone too far with his accusation.

'That Travers fellow is a worthy opponent, Edward. I can see the fight in his eyes. He obviously loves her and I can tell there is a battle looming. Perhaps he will not give up so easily. Tread carefully, Edward. She does not remember you...she has to learn to love you again. She seems like such a sweet girl under that fiery temper. So be wary. I am sorry to give you advice you obviously do not want but I care for you as my son now!'

Edward's look was stony and as much as he appreciated his friend, his questions and advice were a chore to bear. Sadness held his eyes and gloom loomed close by, threatening to overcome. Edward had always been a positive person, looking on the bright side of life but the recent events had shaken him and depression held his mind. He grieved for the past he could not change. He took a deep breath, said a silent prayer for wisdom and humility, then answered his friend.

'I will be wary, William...my life is there in that bordello. She is so different, so aggressive. Bella always had a fiery temper but now she is definitely unbalanced. She needs to go home to her mother and her sisters. They will help me!'

Edward's smile was more pretence than a display of confidence however he knew he had to try to think in a positive manner.

'That's the spirit, son...now let us see how we can approach that barman, Eli without the Madam knowing!'

They skirted around the front of the bordello and wandered behind the building, hoping to see the man they wanted to see and luck was on their side as Eli exited the building from the back door. The look on his face was encouraging as he gestured for Edward and William to follow him. They entered a small shed beside the large bordello premises.

'Isabella...I mean...Bella said you are leaving tonight and you want me to accompany you. Is that correct?'

Edward eyed Eli wondering and wishing to know all the details Bella had not told him about her life. Obviously, Eli knew even more than Jasper did and Edward despaired knowing this was not the time to ask. Stubbornly, he put the questions out of his mind, knowing he would find the answers at another time. Now, escape was the prime objective.

'Yes...I wish you to come with us. You are Bella's friend. She trusts you and I need you to help me. She does not know me...she is wary. Are you willing?'

The thought of escape filled Eli's heart with joy but he was realistic. 'I do not know you, either. Are you sincere about Bella? If you wish her any harm...I will find a way...'

'Will you stop threatening me? I told you I love Bella and I am sick of being questioned about my honour.'

Eli muttered his apologies and extended his hand in friendship and as a token of his part of the plan. He listened to Edward's plan to secure Eli and Maree's safety until they reached the northern states. As Eli smiled, Edward decided to suppress his annoyance at the repeated accusations and he even managed to smile.

'In the early hours of the morning we are off. It is a long journey and we want you with us, Eli. There are many men of your colour in our town. You can stay with us if you wish. I am sure there will be plenty of work for you at Bella's mother's tavern...if not, I have a livery where there is always money to earn. What say you?'

Eli was reassured and shook hands with Edward. 'It will mean so much to my woman, Maree to finally be free. I overheard the Madam discussing a purchase of new slaves and I heard her say she is going to sell Maree. She knows Maree is pregnant with my child and will get the price of two slaves and not just one. I cannot let that happen. I told Bella and she is devastated as she loves Maree as her friend.'

Edward smiled, knowing Bella needed as many friends as she could get. 'So be it, Eli...met us in Bella's room at three in the morning.'

The men parted on friendly terms and each hurried to accomplish their goals. Hope struggled to surface in Edward's mind and he remembered how he had read in his scriptures that hope is the beginnings of faith and he realised he needed to have more faith...in himself and in others.

_Chapter 8_

He had watched her for weeks, planning to take her for his own. Anger was born of failure and another's success infuriated Cyril Beauregarde. The tall stranger had taken the whore although Cyril had paid a small fortune to take his chances but he had known disappointment and he became dangerously secretive.

Cyril had been spoilt...over indulged by a neurotic mother and the spoilt, nasty child had become the demanding, cruel man. He had forced himself on the whore, Velvet and he had hid under the stairs after he had been ordered from her room. He planned and waited until he heard Edward's words with the Madam and he listened intently at the staircase door, waiting for his opportunity. Silently, for one so large, he entered Bella's room and he paused, staring at her. Walking beside the bed, he pulled the covers from her as her eyes flew open.

'Edward, are we...' but her words froze in her throat as her eyes dilated with terror taking in the sight of the stranger beside her bed. She jumped to her feet onto the floor as she rapidly pulled her knife from her thigh pouch. He lunged for her but she struck out, cutting his arm. Furious, he used his Herculean strength to force the knife from her hand.

Brown eyes, luminous with fear sought an avenue of escape and she rushed for the door as she began to scream but he lunged for her, pulling her onto the bed, beneath him. His weight suffocated her as he clamped his huge hand on her mouth smothering her cries. He straddled her body, knocking the wind from her lungs.

Frozen in fear, her mind whirled as she whimpered like a cornered animal and he laughed thinking he had vanquished her. The faces of the bandits filled her mind and she rebelled. As she lay still, he thought she would be submissive and he released his hold on her. She saw the opportunity and she took it...biting savagely, wounding him and he snarled at her as he felt the blood on his lips. He was taken unawares as she struck him and he growled in pain, her attempt fruitless as he grabbed her arm bruising her skin with his tight, clenching fingers. Turning her around, he slapped her face as her strangled scream escaped...muted and pathetic as panic captured her voice.

'Shut up, you bitch,' he yelled, slapping her again, then pushed her and she fell, striking her head on the corner of the four poster bed. Suddenly, he stopped his attack. There was a noise...what was it? Instantly he panicked, thinking he had been discovered and he hurried to the window forcing the rusty iron bars apart with his Herculean strength. He escaped along the precariously high roof, leaving Bella unconscious on the bed.

Her eyes were deep brown, almost black and hooded with a mist like iridescence as a pain throbbed through her whole body, bringing her awake.

'I was riding...and...and I must have fallen!' Her mind was dull with disjointed images as she tried to remember what had happened to her. She opened her eyes, seeing only black...the engulfing duo of thick hair and soft sheets enclosed her face. She pushed her hair and the sheets away, gulping air, touching her face and crying as the pain throbbed...her blood falling fresh.

'Yes, I remember, I must have hit a branch from a tree and fell from my horse. I must be home in bed,' Bella thought as she turned to face the ceiling and her mouth dropped open as the ribald kaleidoscope of entwined lovers hovered above her and she believed she had lost her mind. Questions probed...puzzled...hating and accusing. The face of a man appeared before her mind's eyes and she became furiously angry.

'Edward, how could you!' she muttered, remembering the cruel betrayal she had witnessed.

'Mother, Mother, are you there? Alice, where are you? Where am I?' she pleaded and then her voice grew shrill as she screamed, 'This is not my room!'

Her cries were not answered as she jumped up too quickly and a pain in her head thumped and a strange feeling crept along her nerves as she stared in disbelief around the room. She walked to the dresser, staring at herself in the mirror and she gasped. Fearfully, she examined herself...so different...her face blue with bruises. She had been beaten and abused! Huge purple fingerprint bruises covered her arms and her clothes were torn. She started to sob. Reality wavered before her like a vanishing mist as she turned to notice the length of her hair hanging down her back...it almost reached her knees.

'This cannot be...this is not possible?' she thought, totally perplexed. Suddenly, she remembered the burn on the oven door.

'Yesterday...it was yesterday!' she thought as she stared at her arm and the scar. She gasped. The wound was gone leaving a pale old scar, the same shape as her burn...a tiny star.

'This is not possible! Today I am...I...it is my wedding day. Edward...Oh, how could you? You...I will never forgive you, never!'

Her thoughts were fast and venomous as jealousy tore her heart to shreds. Her sobs started as a small, silent bubbling from a bottomless well then gushed, flowing as a raging torrent, grief seizing her, paralysis numbing her feelings. She stared at her left hand and saw the ring of promise Edward had bought for her...on her wedding finger...the ring she had thrown away in the realisation of his treachery. Confusion held her mind as she continued to stare at the band of promise she had picked out with Edward.

'We cannot be married?' she questioned her own mind. 'Why do I wear his ring? Where am I? Oh, Lord, please help me!' she prayed aloud and suddenly her tears subsided as her safety became paramount and the betrayal of Edward Cullen was a matter to be dealt with at a later date.

She rushed to the unfamiliar window in the unfamiliar room and stared at the metal bars stretched and broken from the window. Curiously, she inspected them, noticing the splintered wood and rusty metal. Her head ached as the mystery puzzled her and then she gazed out onto the town of Diamond Gully. The dry, dusty whirlpool of a street of gunslingers, cowhands and prospectors met her eyes and she became more puzzled and also afraid. Compared to the neat, orderly town of Denali, the sight meeting her eyes totally bewildered her. She took a deep breath, wishing for sanity and then a man saw her and hurried to beneath her window.

'Isabella,' he called her, forgetting to use the name she preferred. He walked closer to the window, noticing her distressed expression and the evidence of abuse. The broken window worried him.

'What has happened to you? Isabella...was it him, the one who said you knew? Did he hurt you?'

She did not answer him. She screamed and fell to the carpet, gasping for breath as anxiety held her. She crawled to the door and locked it as fear sent shudders down her spine.

'Why does he call me Isabella?' Bella thought as worry filled Jasper's mind and he hurried away, eager to find Edward Cullen and confront him.

Bella leant against the door with her head in her hands as she continued to cry...deep ragged breaths of agony which burnt her throat and, as she gasped for air, she felt so alone and suddenly she knew she was far from home. She could not imagine where she could be as her thoughts jumped to her mother, her home, her sisters and she continued to cry.

'What have you done to me, Edward? Did you not really love me? Did you live a lie?' Her thoughts ran as rivers of apathy as she tried to understand how so many promises and so many years of love could have been destroyed so quickly. She huddled into a ball, gently sobbing as she closed her eyes, wishing to die.

'Isabella...Isabella...are you in there?' a voice called but she did not hear it. 'Isabella...the door is locked...open it!' the voice demanded loudly as Bella raised her head to gaze at the key in the lock.

'Isabella? I must be 'Isabella'' she thought as she listened to the rapping on the door.

'Open the door Isabella or you will be sorry. Do you want to be beaten again for being disobedient? Just when I thought you were going to behave! Now come on girl, open the door!'

She tried to speak but her voice would not come. The sounds rasped painfully over her vocal cords until finally she was able to mutter, 'There is no key!'

'You are lying Isabella. Of course there is a key! Open the door, now!'

'There is no key!' the lie past her lips again as she stared at the key in the door.

'Well, you best find it or I will have the door battered down. Get yourself ready girl because that man who had you last night...he's coming back, eager for you he is...paid

big money. You'll be free before you know it!' the voice prattled and Bella listened as her skin turned pale highlighting the dark blue and purple bruises.

'Free...free?' the word flew around her mind, unable to rest, not accepted as reality.

'Isabella...Isabella! Answer me girl! Will you be ready? See you are as sweet to him as last night 'cause he looks keen. He has the look and smell of money, that man. He's dressed like a cowhand but he has the bearing of nobility and a body, my, Isabella, you are such a lucky girl!'

Bella crouched on the floor, blocking out the droning voice with her hands. Her throat was paralysed and she could not speak. Horror and fear seeped into every sense as the moral codes she had been taught collapsed around her like a fallen tree in a dense forest creating destruction.

'It is all his fault!' she thought, pounding her fist into her open palm.

'I am a whore! How?' Bella spoke aloud as her mind exploded with all the whys and worst of all, the implications.

'Where is he...with Tanya? Has he been her lover all the time behind my back? Oh! how I hate him. Did they plan this to doom me to the life of a whore?'

Her heart was raw and bleeding as she had to accept that all her dreams had been destroyed. She began to sob again, cradling herself. The stream of tears became a raging torrent of flooding despair as the grief of his betrayal and the uncertainty of her situation overwhelmed her. She lost all track of time as the tide of hopelessness flowed and ebbed until she sobbed...softly, weakly...all her energy gone...afraid, so alone and afraid.

The name someone had given her echoed through her mind, louder, louder then suddenly Bella raised her head gazing around the room. She acknowledged the calling of the name and wiped the moisture from her cheeks, rubbing her swollen eyes. Shakily, she rose to her feet and stood in front of the door, staring at the key in the lock. An impatient rapping on the door startled her and she jumped backwards, gasping with fright. The closed door seemed to symbolise the closed door on this life she had found herself in and she did not want to face it. She could not physically bring herself to open the door as anxiety held her.

'Isabella? Isabella! answer me girl, what is wrong with you?'

Silence was Angela's answer and she turned to Edward in anger, glaring into his eyes, pointing an accusing finger at him.

'What is wrong with her? What did you do to her?'

Bella listened at the door, knowing the woman conversed with the man who had bought her and abused her. Loathing for the man...for Edward and all men filled her being with vengeance.

'Isabella! Isabella!' a voice called again but this time the voice of a man travelled to her ears and the deep baritone tones reverberated through Bella's mind, telling her who he was as her will rebelled, not believing.

Angela grew alarmed, believing that Bella had lost her mind for she remembered the girl's mental instability in the past.

Edward's worry accelerated to fear as he remembered the scene he had had only a short time ago with a lividly furious Jasper Travers, ready to fight to avenge Bella's honour. Edward had laughed at first, holding the shorter man at arm's length to avoid his flying punches but the story Jasper had to tell chilled Edward's heart as he knew when he had left Bella she had been the picture of health. To Edward's dismay, Jasper had spoken of a battered, bruised and strange woman, not the one Jasper had grown to know and love.

Edward gulped in nervousness eager to batter the door down.

Then a voice, so faint it was hardly audible muttered, 'Edward? Edward?' Then the volume of her voice increased, 'Edward? Edward, is that you, Edward Cullen?' The tone of her voice was accusing and Edward frowned.

'Of course it is I. I said I would be back. Let me in please?'

She listened to his words as her hands and teeth clenched. Her jealousy increased to

a fever pitch.

'Wait!' she snapped as her eyes darted around the room, seeking alternative clothing to the gown of a whore.

'I want her downstairs in an hour. Is that understood?' Angela demanded in her arrogant tone of voice as she turned away and went to other business. Edward acknowledged her words, succeeding in hiding the snarl growing on his lips and the angry flaring of his nostrils.

Edward waited and then he waited, the suspense becoming unbearable as he stood at the carved oak door. He needed to see Bella...to love Bella but the door still remained closed. As the agonising seconds dragged on to become fearful minutes, he stared at the door before him feeling as he had the last seven months and he remembered the loneliness he had felt as thoughts of a life without her had filled his mind as they did now. Tears of frustration filled his eyes as he impatiently folded and unfolded his arms. Emotions held sway on his heart as he thought of the calculated treachery that had brought this to pass and he hated Tanya with an intensity that surprised him. Previously, he had only been indifferent to her but now he vowed to seek revenge on the woman who had caused this pain in his life.

_Chapter 9_

Close by, a door away Bella's thoughts were equal in intensity. Jealous rage filled her with a power, an energy she had not known before. From the moment of recognition, her fear had disappeared to be replaced by a cold, unforgiving rage making her come alive. Every nerve ending tingled with adrenalin which surged through her body and she hated him at that moment more intensely than she had loved him. He had betrayed her...he had stolen her heart and crushed it.

She pulled the dressing gown tightly around her aching bruised body, symbolically protecting herself. She had been unable to find any respectable clothing to wear. The low décolletage of a ball gown had been discarded disdainfully as had the other garments of a whore. She turned to the mirror, a sad attempt at vanity although she would never had admitted it and she started to cry again, feeling used. She was beautiful no more. Her eyes were swollen from her tears and her face was bruised...a sad, tragic face highlighted by the darkness of her long ebony hair. The eyes, which had once looked on life with the soft mistiness of a young woman in love, now seemed so cold and cynical.

'You will pay, Edward Cullen!' she vowed as she stormed to the door.

He had his back turned as he stared down the hallway of the bordello wondering when she would open the door to let him in. He felt the rush of wind as the door was jerked open. Suddenly he turned to face her...the brown eyes of love meet her eyes of jet. Eyes of hate. Instantly his expression changed from anticipation to panic as he observed the bruises, the cuts...the reality of abuse. Jasper had told him but he had not wanted to believe it and now he admitted he had been wrong. Hatred illuminated her soul, scorching him, damning him and holding him to account. Perspiration ran in rivers along his neck and he knew..._she knew...she remembered!_

'Bella...I...!' he started to say but the words refused to come to his lips as he walked into the room and locked the door behind him.

She was as cold as a statue as she turned to him and her look of contempt chilled him. She stared at him, making him feel so uncomfortable he even considered the thought of fleeing, escaping her wrath but he denied the ridiculous impulse. He remembered his promise to her mother and he accepted the fact that he had always known that one day when he had found her, he would have to account for his actions. His deed of treachery seemed so long ago and he hoped she would forgive him but he did not realise for her the wound was open...bleeding and very fresh. He vowed to win her and this rationalisation brought a smile to his lips.

Her response was as the wind storms across the prairie or lightning striking! Her limbs were mobile...her eyes shining with a burning light. Her words were damaging, her fists vengeful as she struck out at him striking his face.

'Oh I hate you. You...you!' Her voice grew louder as she demanded, 'How could you do that to me? Why? Tell me how long has she been your lover? Could you not wait for our marriage or were you satisfying your lust with her all the time? I mean nothing to you...you cannot love me to do that to me! Did you have to be so cruel to show me you loved her? How I hate you...I hate you!'

Her voice screeched louder as her blows fell on his chest and she tried to strike him again eager to see his blood but his strong, clenching fingers held her arms although her body thrashed and wriggled, trying to escape his hold.

'Let me go!' Bella screamed on the verge of hysteria.

He became anxious as her voice rose in pitch and he knew the battle would be heard. He tried to smile an apology as his words were spoken. 'Bella...forgive me?'

Her gaze was withering and contemptuous. She had lost all respect for him and in her eyes...he was nothing to her. Her heart was cold, merciless as jealousy and anger held her like a puppet. She kicked a well-aimed blow to Edward's shin and then she laughed, strangely. Her mirth continued, increasing in volume and pitch, reverberating around the room, making Edward fear she had lost her mind.

Instantly he released her and her gaze catapulted his fear into the numbness of disbelief as he witnessed the contempt and hate in her eyes. He knew she would be angry but he had never expected such rancour.

Her laughter ended as quickly as it had begun and she turned away from him. He watched her shoulders shake, the sharp intake of her breath. He longed to hold her, to touch her...to make her forget how he had hurt her but he was afraid of her reaction...afraid of so many things and he sadly admitted his fear, although his will rebelled. He was a man...should he be afraid?

Her quiet haunted him and her sobs broke his heart. The silence continued...heavy...enfolding as the suspense tore into Edward's nerves, shredding them to slivers but he stepped forward, wrapping his arms around her. His touch revolted her as the destructive memory of Tanya in his arms renewed her hatred and she pushed him away, wondering when she would find peace again.

Edward stared at her. He was hurt and shocked by her withdrawal. Anger simmered and boiled, replacing his pain, protecting his feelings, making him vocal and aggressive.

'Bella, I asked you to forgive me. Why can you not forgive me?' Edward yelled as he held her arms and turned her around to face him. Her eyes were haughty, contemptuous as the venomous words tumbled from her lips.

'You cannot just ask me to forgive you and expect it to happen. It is not that easy, Edward.' Her words were cold and she suddenly sounded so rational and in control, in sharp contrast to her recent raving.

'Do not touch me again...ever! I want you to get me out of here...wherever this is. Then take me home, that is the least you owe me...then you can get out of my life! Be with your whore...you deserve each other!'

Edward tried to control his tears as he spoke, 'You cannot speak to me like that!' His eyes held fury...his stance, defiance. 'You are wrong! She was not my lover. I hate her...I love you!'

She glared back at him and then she laughed.

'Not your lover, Oh! How could you? You are a liar!' Bella spat the words in his face, shock possessing her as the hurt of his words seeped into her soul, destroying all feelings...all hope of forgiveness. Suddenly, she remembered her dream that night in his cottage...the cottage where he had lain with Tanya in his arms. The dream had warned her but she had not listened. 'Liar...he is a liar!' the voice in her dream had said and now she believed it to be the truth and not a nightmare.

'Not your lover, how can you lie like this? I saw you!'

'I thought she was you!' he said, his anger gone, his guilt scorching him with regret.

'You thought she was me? This is too much. I have been a fool. I do not love you. We are finished. I can never love you again!'

Her words held the venom of hate and she turned from him, her words spoken, her decision made.

'I was drugged!'

'Is that your excuse?' she taunted him. 'Surely you can do better than that!'

'I was told you were waiting for me. I remember leaving the saloon, then nothing until morning!' Edward defended himself but his words drifted into nothingness as the pain of that particular morning haunted him and he closed his eyes from her questioning and judgement.

'I received your message to meet you at our cottage!' she yelled, judging him.

'What message? I did not send a message...I...'

'You did!' she yelled at him, interrupting him.

'I did not!' he screamed back.

'You did!' she screamed louder, stamping her foot and lashing out at Edward scratching her nails across his face. She drew his blood and he turned, anger flashing...his eyes cold.

'What a childish brat you are, Bella Swan. You are not as grown up as I believed you to be. I want a woman for my wife not a child who refuses to see the truth. For your sake, I hope you grow up one day!'

Her mouth flapped open in exasperation and flaming indignation. Suddenly her eyes lighted on the ring on her finger.

'What is this?' she taunted him. 'The ring you had promised me to take me in marriage. Why am I wearing it? This cannot be!'

Angrily she twisted the ring around her finger as she waited for him to answer her. The silence irritated her and she stared at him filling him with uneasiness.

'Well, surely we are not wed, for I remember no wedding. Was it perhaps when I did not know you? I did not remember you?'

'Last night...,' he answered but his voice drifted away. He could not meet her gaze. 'It was last night! I had to marry you, Bella before I lost you. I was afraid you would love another!'

He raised his eyes to meet hers and the glare of withering contempt in her eyes chilled him.

'Let me get this right...you married me when I did not know you...after what you had done to me, so as to hold me. What a scoundrel you are! What a despicable thing to do after what you have done! Was the marriage consummated? Am I really your wife?'

He wished he could lie but the truth came to his lips.

'No, Bella, you are not really my wife. You are in my heart but only in vow.'

Her smile sent daggers of pain through his heart.

'Well, that is good for you can have your ring back.'

She pulled it off her finger and threw it at him. It landed on the floor beside him and he stared at it trying to hold back the tears brimming in his eyes.

'I am not your wife, Edward…now or ever!'

She turned from his painful expression to gaze onto the dusty street of Diamond Gully. The silence hung heavily and sadly as he sat on the bed staring at the wall. The silence continued to become almost tangible. It seemed to control them as neither dared to speak. They had already said too much. Damning words...words of venom and hatred and now they were too afraid to say more.

Edward's chest pounded with the thundering of his heart. His nerves reached fever peak and he turned, startled..._it was the door, someone was knocking!_

The person at the door was not the one Edward expected to see. The wrinkled, painted female face was dark and male, large luminous eyes and pearly teeth spread in a cheerful smile.

'She must come down!' Eli said as his eyes travelled from Edward across the room to where Bella sat in the chair.

'Miss Isabella...I mean Miss Bella...what has happened to you?' He walked to her, observing the bruises, the signs of abuse and his look became damning as he held Edward to account.

'I would not harm her!' Edward defended himself.

'Oh, would you not?' Bella questioned, the tone of sarcasm heavy in her voice.

'I did not touch her. She was in good health when I left her this morning!' Edward protested his innocence with a certain degree of annoyance. His heart ached as a heavy weight hung on his soul. He fumed in frustration. His own questions were unanswered as his mind grieved with the knowledge she had been hurt but by whom?

Eli approached her, sympathy heavy in his voice. 'My poor child...Eli will make you better!' He knelt beside her chair and his hand attempted to inspect the marks of hurt.

Her eyes widened in terror as she raised her arm and slapped his hand from her. Eli stared, puzzled by her reaction.

'Tell me, sweetheart, who hurt you?' he coaxed.

'She does not know...she does not remember you. She is not Isabella anymore. Bella is really back!' Edward stated with a shrug of his shoulders, his voice heavy with disappointment and Bella's temper flared knowing he preferred the whore she must have been. She bristled at the thought that she had been sweet and kind to him. Had he tried to take advantage of her?

'Miss Bella, you have your memory back. That is wonderful. Your troubles are over and here is your fiancée to take you home!' Eli said enthusiastically but then doubted his statement as he gazed into her eyes.

'You are wrong. My troubles have just begun!' she told him, her voice full of anger and her eyes blazing bolts of thunder in Edward's direction.

'And who are you? You know me?' Bella asked, needing answers to a huge void gaping before her as she wondered the part this man had played in the recent past she had now forgotten.

'I am Eli, your friend. You do not remember me?' he asked and Bella stared into his sad dark eyes seeing only gentleness and friendship.

'She does not remember this!' Edward answered for her and his interference in the conversation infuriated Bella as much as his reference to her prostitution as 'this'. The trauma of amnesia terrified her as she imagined her role in this bawdyhouse.

'I do not understand. You have your former memory but you have forgotten the last seven months...how strange!' Eli puzzled, rubbing his forehead.

'Tell me then, if you knew me, why am I here? Did he bring me here?' she questioned, condemning Edward with her eyes and the implication of her insinuation. Her words infuriated Edward, bringing a denial to his lips,

'I never did. I have been searching for you. I found you here only yesterday!'

Eli gazed from one to the other and sighed, assessing a difficult situation.

'What do you remember?' he asked consolingly, taking her hand, his attitude concerned...his eyes kind.

'The last thing, besides waking up here a short while ago, battered and bruised, I remember...I saw him...them and I ran and rode and I think I must have hit something...a branch perhaps...then nothing, until now. What happened? Do you know?'

Her deep green eyes gazed at each of them. Her words drilled, demanding answers but Edward's words died before they were born...dismissed as he could not tell her the things that had happened to her.

Eli fidgeted with his sleeve, eager to appease the fiery temper of his owner.

'There is not time for the answers I can give you. Come on Bella, get dressed, please...in this!' he said, finally finding the discarded ball gown.

'I will not...I will not wear that!' she demanded, her voice tilting to anger and holding all the arrogance of her ancestry. She stared from the man she had loved to the man who had obviously been her friend and she sighed, a silent tear falling, her self-respect in tatters.

'Please, Bella...Angela will be angry. She cannot become suspicious. We have plans to escape tonight. Please, Miss Bella!' Eli begged.

'I will not!' she demanded irrationally.

'You can and you will!' Edward told her angrily as he walked towards her. 'There is no other way, Bella,' he said, holding the dress out to her.

She cringed away from him, the revulsion on her face like a knife in his back, tearing the remnants of his heart.

'Would you prefer to stay here especially if you lose the game? You may not always win!' Edward told her, forgetting in his angry tirade that he had destroyed the arrangement she had made with the Madam by paying for her for the whole night the night just past.

'Game? What game. What will I lose? What else have I lost? I have lost you...my love... my virtue obviously. What else has your treachery taken from me?'

He could not explain and suddenly, he did not want to as anger seethed in his soul and he desperately wanted to flee her method of inquisition but sadly, he knew he could not...a promise, his word to her mother and he knew he could not leave Bella...he_ had_ to take her home safely.

'Come on, Miss Bella,' Eli coaxed. 'The Mistress will be angry with me if you do not come. She will come up here!'

Dark eyes, eyes of knowledge and wisdom caressed her with affection and his smile was security, and strangely, she trusted him knowing he meant her no harm. She took his hand as she rose from the bed allowing him to help her into the voluminous gown. He brushed her hair and painted her face, trying to hide the bruises. He found an elegant hat that hid the dark shadows of assault.

'Come on, Bella, let us go down!' his voice was deep and warm, almost like a caress and his smile was like a hug of affection.

She returned his smile, the happiness radiating from his face becoming contagious.

She turned, her back to Edward, eager to ignore him.

He watched her as she swept out of the room on Eli's arm. Desolate, he stood in the doorway to Bella's room as his eyes followed her until she went out of his sight.

Fear crept along Bella's spine like a thief in the night. She tried to be brave but the tears wanted to rush to her eyes even as she dispelled their existence. Her knees started to shake and she felt faint. Suddenly, a door opened from one of the rooms as she passed by and a drunken man almost fell out with a woman in his arms. Bella stared at them in disgust as Eli held onto her arm securely. Her soul rebelled to believe she had been living in a brothel all these months and she had worked as a whore.

'Hey...if it isn't the gypsy,' the man said and the prostitute laughed. 'Will you have me later, beautiful?' he asked, slurring his words. 'Has to be my turn, by now...you've had the prospector and that cowboy...must be my turn by now!'

Bella stiffened on Eli's arm, suddenly wanting to disappear. Noises seemed to flood into Bella's ears, suffocating her mind. Sounds of revelry travelled from the ground floor as several women and their customers hurried up the stairs to rooms to engage in their amorous pursuits. They all stared at Bella and she felt uncomfortable as she tried to act normally, at the same time, wondering what 'normal' would have been for her. The décor of the premises flashed before her eyes as she scanned the Turkish carpets...faded paintings...potted plants and dirty chandeliers.

At the top of the stairs she paused, her heart in her throat, terror running through her mind as she looked down on the scene below her.

_Chapter 10_

As she descended the winding staircase uncertainty flashed in her mind as she wondered who had been her lover. 'The prospector!' the man had said. Was Edward the 'cowboy' he had also spoken of? These thoughts tormented her as she could not refrain from finding out the truth.

'Did I really sell myself?' she asked nervously, needing some answers immediately. His smile was broad and he chuckled as he patted her hand.

'My sweet Bella...you have always been a lady, you have never been a whore.'

His words comforted her but she still did not understand...so many unanswered questions flew in her mind, wanting and demanding answers.

'But, who hurt me? Who? He must have struck me so I hit my head to lose some memories and regain others. Tell me, Eli!'

He shook his head as his finger pressed to his lips, silencing her. Then suddenly she was noticed as they all turned, watching her as Bella's feet stumbled on the last step but Eli caught her just in time holding her securely, whispering words of encouragement. She breathed deeply, trusting this man, suddenly needing him like no one else in her life before. She descended the last step to face the men who rushed to her. She clutched his hand and he saw the terror in her eyes. He was tired of witnessing the sight of Bella's suffering. He believed that some good most come of this sadness.

'I am here for you, Bella,' he whispered, close to her ear. 'I have always been here for you since the beginning when I knew you as Isabella. I will let no one harm you.'

His words were spoken with all the sincerity he had in his humble heart but suddenly, he felt ashamed. She had been hurt, badly and he had not been able to stop it.

'I am sorry, Bella,' he whispered. 'I do not know who hurt you and I failed to protect you!'

The sadness in his voice pulled at her heartstrings and she smiled at him appreciating his sincerity and affection.

'It was not up to you, Eli. Perhaps the man who was supposed to love me..._him_!' she said her words of Edward, vengeful and unforgiving as she nodded in his direction where he stood on the staircase watching her.

'He should have been here for me. It is his fault I came to this place!'

Eli sighed, noticing Angela approached.

'Good, Eli, just walk her around and keep 'em away from her, especially Travers...she is promised to the cowboy tonight. The others can have their turn tomorrow!'

Bella stared at the woman who owed her. Gushing tears started to fall as insecurity claimed her but Eli produced his handkerchief just in time and as she wiped her eyes, she vowed to hate Edward for the rest of her life.

He followed behind her, watching her, his mind a puzzle of contradictions. She hated him...he loved her. He observed the lust in the men's eyes and his jealousy soared. He wanted to take her home _now_ and he felt frustration knowing he could not. The knowledge that she was his wife even though she denied it, gave him some measure of comfort. Scanning the room before him, Edward's vision fell on the sad expression of unrequited love painfully displayed all over the young face of Jasper Travers and Edward was thankful he had coerced Bella into marrying him the previous evening. His eyes never left her and his heart thrilled at her beauty and courage. She had lived through hell and it was his fault. He noticed the control she had on the situation. Her demeanour was haughty, a virtual ice goddess and all who watched her, wished to tame her.

Angela scrutinised Bella mistaking her control on terror as a new air of confidence.

'Good evening, my dear Isabella. Are you well?' Angela enquired with the sweetness of enterprise heavy in her voice.

'As well as can be expected under the circumstances,' Bella replied, her brilliant smile hiding her seething emotions. The friendly banter, which continued, fanned the fires of her anger as she forced the smile across her lips. She felt faint as the blood rushed from her cheeks and she gripped onto Eli's arm. He felt her withering beside him and he helped her to a chair as Edward hurried to be near her. She wished he would leave her alone as she did not want to talk to him.

'Are you all right, Bella?'

She heard the loving concern in his voice but she ignored it. When she did not answer him, his temper soared and he walked to the bar to talk to William to seek his friend's calming advice.

Bella stared at him as he walked away. A fire of fever flushed her and she wished to lie down. Her throat was parched and she wondered if she was getting ill. Queasiness held her stomach in knots and she gratefully accepted the water Eli handed her. As she raised her eyes from her glass, she noticed a man approaching her. Confusion held her mind as she realised that he was the one who had stared at her so strangely when she had been at the window that afternoon. Her cheeks flushed a deep shade of crimson. Shyly, she lifted her gaze to meet his and stared into his eyes, noticing his concerned expression.

'Bella...I need to talk to you!' Jasper spoke nervously and then quickly asked questions that he needed answered before she was taken from him.

'I know your real name is 'Bella', not 'Isabella'. You always told me you did not know your real name...anyway...,' his words wandered off as he felt suddenly shy, noticing the unusual expression in her eyes.

'Are you hurt? Did he hurt you?' he asked, gesturing to Edward standing at the bar, watching them. 'I went to him demanding answers but he pleaded his innocence. Who hurt you, Bella? I will take care of them!' Jasper spoke vehemently, wishing to avenge her honour.

She smiled to see his chivalry but she wondered who he was. 'Is he 'the prospector'?' she thought and then her gaze wandered to Eli who had been watching the conversation with disapproval knowing the wrath of his owner if she caught him disobeying her orders. He looked for Angela but she was not in sight so he let the conversation continue.

'Do I know you?' Bella asked and Jasper's confidence was shattered although he felt happy for her, knowing she had regained her memory.

'You have forgotten me?' he pleaded.

'Yes, I do not know you. Are you 'the prospector' others speak of? Were we lovers?' she asked hesitantly, feeling uncomfortable with her words.

'No, I am only your friend, Bella. I wanted to be so much more to you but I had to respect your wishes. I love you, Bella. Are you sure you do not remember? I wanted to marry you when I had paid Angela for you.'

His expression was sad as he continued his questions. 'You are going with him? Do you love him?'

Suddenly Bella noticed Angela coming towards her and she only had time to answer, 'I hate him with all my being but he is the only one who can take me home.'

Like a bird of prey, Angela clutched Bella in her talons and steered her towards Edward who still fumed jealousy at the bar. Bella was his wife and his husbandly jealousy turned into rancour, annoyance and anger. He wanted to tell Bella to behave like a wife but he knew there was no use as she had always been a free spirit and he knew that more than anyone.

'Your paying customer is waiting and I will have you know, Isabella that I have decided to end our bargain. This man has paid for all night as he did last night and from this night on you shall work as the other girls. When and how I say you shall. No more games of chess but you can still dance...but not tonight; this man has paid a sufficient amount to claim your attention!' Angela hissed the orders in an evil fashion as her eyes glinted with all the expectations of her new found wealth.

Bella felt faint and she steadied herself against the bar as she contemptuously scorched Edward with the force of her glare. She almost snarled as her nostrils flared with controlled rage and she taunted him.

'Well, Edward Cullen, shall we retire upstairs now? The night is getting on and I must see you get your money's worth!'

The words of sweetness held a concealed threat of venom and received a different reaction from all the people surrounding her. Edward was disgusted and hurt. Angela smiled delightedly and she laughed. Eli frowned, acknowledging the words of sarcasm and pain. Confusion held Jasper's mind and his heart ached knowing he had lost her.

Just as Jasper turned towards her, she also turned on Edward's arm, gazing at Jasper. He gulped, captivated by the ethereal beauty of her eyes. There was so much he wanted to say but before he could speak she was gone and his eyes lingered on her until she disappeared on Edward's arm at the top of the stairs.

Edward held her tightly but she wished for him to release her, finally grateful when they reached the door of the room. Bella threw off her shoes and the gown of whoredom as fury surged through her, spiralling like a crescendo, lost to her control.

'It is all your fault. You brought me to this...to this hell. I hate you!'

Seated in the chair, Edward's expression was one of contempt.

'You have told me before Bella. My ears are sore, enough of it!'

He expected to bear the brunt of her fiery temper but surprising him, she turned away crawling up in the blanket on the bed. She hid from him and her tears flowed, so silently he could barely hear them but he knew she cried and his own tears expressed his grief also.

Edward watched her until his weary mind ceased to battle with the misery of his life, his head lolling into the armrest of the chair and he slept until the twilight hours of the morning when the bordello became silent. Several inebriated individuals staggered along the dirty street but besides them, the gold mining town of Diamond Gully was at peace.

Eli's stomach knotted in nervousness as he crept silently through the main room, holding his woman's hand. She was smiling, eager for freedom and respectability, now more than ever before as she nurtured Eli's child within her and she had prayed for their child to be born free. Eli was confident, sure of his plan. Aided by Edward Cullen and William Bean, Eli knew he would finally be a free man. A strong bond had grown quickly between the nineteen year old Edward and the Negro slave of thirty years of age. The pact that had been made had been improved on as Edward promised to assure Eli and Maree safe passage to the northern states where they would be free from bondage.

Noiselessly, Eli and Maree entered Bella's room as all the inhabitants of the bordello, including the bodyguards had been locked in their rooms, their minds held in a deep sleep by the draught Eli had had especially prepared for them. His thick, Negroid lips stretched into a beaming smile as he turned up the lamp, taking in the scene to meet his eyes. Edward's shoulder was shaken and he woke, startled.

'Oh! It is you my friend. How goes our plan?' Edward asked excitedly, wishing to leave this town as quickly as possible. Eli answered as he approached Bella still curled in her blanket.

'All is well but we must hurry. Miss Bella, wake up!'

She suddenly opened her eyes, staring into the dark face of her friend and she returned his smile, taking the clothes he handed her. She dressed quickly, pulling on the small man's clothes and as she walked to the dresser, she tripped over a bag on the floor. She opened and inspected the contents.

She gasped to see her old dress, neatly folded. She inspected it, noticing the torn material and she frowned to see a bloodstained scarf together with a leather bag holding gold coins. The mysterious items puzzled her. More confused than ever, she put the items back into the bag and threw it over her shoulder. Suddenly, she denied her tears which started to fall.

Eli observed the pallor of her face and her sad eyes. He knew he had so much to tell her at the right time. He handed her some weapons as she prepared to climb out the window.

'Strap these on. Do you know how to use them?' he asked and she nodded her affirmative answer as she strapped the guns to her hips.

'And this!' Eli told her, holding a small dagger of intricate workmanship he had withdrawn from a leather pouch. Her fingers ran lightly across the blood red ruby in the dagger's hilt and she smiled. She stared at the weapon he had handed her and he watched her as she strapped it to her thigh. A strange feeling possessed her, a feeling of remembrance but the memory was fleeting and as quickly as it had come it was gone.

Silently and fleet of foot, the conspirators met up with William, holding the saddled horses and then they were away, the wind rushing behind them. The feeling of relief and freedom flooded their minds with joy and all smiled as the dirty, gold town disappeared on the horizon.

Morning came swiftly and, as a homestead was sighted in the distance, the troop headed in that direction, eager to water their horses. A frown of worry creased Bella's forehead and the closer she came to the homestead, the more intense became her feeling of panic. She slowed her horse and lagged behind the others. Finally she secured her horse beside the others at the water trough and wandered aimlessly to the house, staring strangely at the dead bodies, their bones picked dry and bleached from the heat of the sun. Listlessly, she moved from body to body, oblivious to the words and actions of Edward who tried to shield her from the sight of death.

Suddenly, she stopped as her hands flew to her eyes and her scream became a heart rendering wail of despair. Her eyes misted over, shutting the reality away as her memory was returned to her, terrifying her, leaving her unprepared for the onslaught.

She fell to her knees and heaved, expelling her breakfast as she trembled and her limbs shook with shock. Disjointed memories flooded her mind...Edward's betrayal, her fall, Jacob's caravan...his love and she sobbed, disbelieving the picture of the woman appearing in her mind was really her. She cried as she pulled herself to her feet, pushing Edward's protective arms away, refusing his aid.

Stumbling, she hurried to her horse and rode away...nowhere, anywhere before Edward could follow her. He rushed to find her but Eli stalled his action and hurried after her, knowing he could help her. Prayers calming his soul, Eli smiled when he found her horse and he noticed she sat on a huge rocky outcrop, shielding her face with her arms as deep sobs of despair shook her body. His arms encircled her and she remembered him then and all his caring. He did not speak, only hold her and as her sobs ceased, he sat with her until the others reached them after burying the remains of the homesteaders.

Edward approached her but the look in her eyes chilled him and he withdrew. His courage evaporated with her look of thunder and he felt too hurt to approach her again. Silently, she mounted her horse and she followed behind her companions, her mind numb...her emotions a void. She withdrew from their company, speaking to no-one, not even Eli as she digested her life.

Her hand rested possessively on the dagger at her thigh as she remembered vividly her life with Jacob. Suddenly her memory of the fight with Victoria...of Jacob's death filled her mind and she stopped her horse, retrieving the bloodstained scarf from her small bag of possessions. Her tears fell recalling his death and even though her anger simmered for Edward, she also had to admit to herself that she had not loved Jacobthe way she had loved Edward. She sighed deeply, searching through her bag eager to find her bracelet, the one her father had given her as well as the emeralds of the gypsy and the wedding band he had given her.

Sobbing, she tried to wipe the tears from her eyes. She was determined to pull herself together...to be strong as she remembered her mental insecurity in the past and she refused to walk that road again. As she lifted her head she saw a horse coming towards her...it was Eli.

'Bella...come on, dear sister...you are trailing. Edward is concerned for you and he sent me to bring you to catch up with us. It is not safe to be alone.'

She stared into the horizon, noticing the rest of the company a long way in front. She shrugged her shoulders, indicating her feelings for Edward's concerns.

'Well, if you care not what Edward thinks...care for me, Bella. I am concerned for you...come on, ride with me!'

Her smile was slow in coming but eventually she gave Eli a beaming smile of friendship.

'What happened to my possessions, Eli?' She remembered that Angela had stolen all the things she held dear.

His smile was sly and joyous as he reached into his saddlebag and passed a wooden box to her.

'I have been saving them for you. Please do not think I would steal them, Bella. I trust you and your man. He has promised to give me work...to help me. The emeralds are valuable but I value your friendship more. I felt the time not right to give them to you when we left the bordello. I feared your memory would return suddenly seeing the dagger as well as the emeralds and it was imperative we left when we did...if there had been a delay the sedative I gave everyone may have worn off and we may have had to fight our way out!'

'I trust you my dear friend and thank you!' She placed the box in her saddlebag and kicked her horse into a gallop as they quickly joined the rest of the travellers.

For two weeks they travelled and Bella struggled to understand and to put away the events of the past. She rarely spoke and then, only to Eli and Maree. A stony wall of silence and indifference existed between Edward and Bella as the pride of each kept them apart. Their contagious tension affected their companions as the thrilling excitement of the beginning of the journey evaporated. A sad, despairing mood hung over them all and by the night of the fourteenth day William grew so depressed about the sadness of his friend and the general gloom of the travellers, he approached Bella where she sat alone, staring.

'What is the problem with you and Edward?' he asked and she stared at him strangely and then, as if she had not heard him, she turned her head away.

His temper flared as he became tired of the cold war...the silence and the tension.

'Bella, will you please do me the courtesy of answering me?'

She turned and met his eyes, shrugging her shoulders. 'Ask him!'

'I have but he does not want to talk about it...this is...,' the friend of Edward answered but before he could say the rest of his words, Bella interrupted him.

'Well, neither do I...so leave me alone, William! No, I wish to change that...I do have a few words to say to you after all as you so much desire to talk to me. You should never have married us. What right have you? This can be no marriage! You are not clergy!'

'You are mistaken. I am a minister. I have no congregation...that is all. I have the power to marry you!'

Her large emerald eyes stared at him digesting his words. At first when she remembered her ridiculous wedding in the bordello she had disbelieved it...it was a sham...a trick by Edward to keep her but now, as she stared into the honest eyes of Edward's friend she suddenly believed him.

'Well, even if you are clergy it was not morally right. I would never have consented if I had had my full memory at that moment and anyway, I did not want to marry him...he coerced me. That is not fair. You had no right!'

'Yes, Bella. You are right. I should not have married you to him without your full memory for I knew what he had done...how he had betrayed you and I guessed how you would react when you remembered. I am sorry but I love Edward as my son. I have been with him a long time searching for you. All those months...all over this vast country and I felt pity for him. He was so desperate that night in the bordello when you had chosen Travers to be with...he could see no other way to make you his. Forgive him, Bella. He has wronged you but he loves you so deeply!'

She stared at her hand, empty of the ring he had given her and she wondered where it was now. Suddenly, she wished she had kept it. Her tears fell but her pride was a masterful barrier as she stubbornly raised her head and faced William.

'I cannot forgive him...it is over!'

'He is not to blame for all the sorrow you endured, Bella. You cannot hold him to account for all your pain. I believe him when he told me he had been drugged, therefore, he did not willingly betray you. You are so stubborn...so wilful. Can you not see that you are both victims? If you were mine, I would make you see sense!'

The emotions of anger, disbelief and then, disgust filtered across Bella's face until she managed to calmly reply to him.

'Well, I am not yours, his or any man's for that matter. I will do as I please and if I do not want to talk to you or him that is how it is going to be!'

She hurried away, as the tears she had grown so tired of, fell yet again but she stubbornly and angrily wiped them away, refusing to cry anymore. Her face was as cold as a stone mask of indifference as Eli approached her.

'Not you too, dear friend, come to lecture me!'

He smiled as if guilty as he patted her arm. 'You should not be so sad...it will be better. Trust me?' he told her as he worried that she did not believe him.

'I trust you, Eli but I do not trust him. I cannot. I hate him and he hates me,' she said with conviction but the speaking of her words left a sickening feeling in her stomach.

Eli shook his head, seeing the truth. 'You love each other too much and you have both been hurt so badly...it will get better, you will see.'

His words were full of confidence and surety but she could not feel his enthusiasm.

'Am I your friend, Bella...your brother?' he queried and his question unnerved her.

'Yes, Eli...you were there when I had no-one. You will always be my brother,' she said warmly, patting his hand.

'There is something I want you to do for me, will you do it?'

'What is it?' Her green eyes darkened to a deeper shade as she stared at him, wondering what he wanted.

'I want you to talk to Edward. This silence has gone on long enough.'

'There is nothing to say!' she told him and he finally realised how stubborn she really was. He smiled, coaxing her.

'Please, Bella...for me...and for all of us, the silence between you two and your hateful glances are unnerving the lot of us.'

'I will try...but!' Bella pledged warily.

'No 'buts' Bella...you have to try.'

_Chapter 11_

The conversation filled Bella's mind that evening as they camped beside a roaring river which poured down through the canyon. Her eyes wandered over the scenery...the magnificent mountains...the roaring rivers, the pine forests and the brilliant stars in the night sky. The moon illuminated the dark paradise of nature and Bella gazed, amazed by the supreme beauty before her. She heard the scurry of animals in the brush and the howl of wolves. Suddenly afraid, she huddled into her saddle blanket, wriggling closer to the fire and she believed all slept, except her. But she was wrong.

He was not asleep...he hardly slept lately. He could not. He could only think of her and how much he loved her and how he wanted her to truly be his wife. He witnessed her fear of the wolves and he wished to hold her...to protect her but rejection was his trial to bear, so he lay there awake...out of the corner of his eye, watching her...his hand on his gun...his mind alert. Only as daylight approached did his eyes fall and he slept.

She woke to the flutter of birds above her head and the drone of insects in her ears. She stretched, feeling the hard discomfort of the earth's bed and she wished for the softness and comfort of a down mattress. Lifting her head, she gazed around her fellow travellers, noticing all still slept and as the early morning sun streamed through the canopy of trees, Bella rose and wandered to the edge of the river, cupping the water in her hands, washing her face. The water was vibrantly cold, refreshing bringing her suddenly fully awake. Sitting on a rock she watched the rushing river and she smiled enjoying the majesty of this countryside.

She had only lived in the Denali and had never known such glorious beauty existed. The river of her home she remembered with loving thoughts but she thrilled to the vibrant wildness of this river so different from the placid, meandering river of her hometown. The cry of an eagle arrested her attention and she stared into the sky, watching the bird fly. The mate of the eagle joined him and Bella smiled as the pair soared above the river.

The growl of a large brown bear made her jump with fear and she stared at the animal only a short distance away from her. Cautiously, she rose and started to back away, keeping her eyes on the bear as she had been told to do but it started to rush at her and she screamed...running.

Instantly, Edward was awake, hearing her cries and he drew his gun as he hurried to her. Fear left him as he stood between Bella and the bear, shooting his gun into the air, desperate to defend her. As she rushed to Maree's waiting arms, the men came to Edward's assistance. Growling ferociously, the bear lunged towards Edward, striking his arm, ripping the material of his shirt, gashing a long wound from his shoulder to his elbow. His crimson blood flowed as he backed away from the bear, shooting into the air as did the other men. The bear growled threateningly, then suddenly it stopped advancing towards Edward, turned and gazed at its baby who was calling to it from the riverbank. The mother bear hurried away.

Bella felt as if she was frozen, so worried that Edward had been close to death. She felt sick to her stomach and faint.

'That was a lucky escape. I was sure she had you!' William said and Edward agreed, nodding his head, sure he had been about to die.

'Let us see to that wound,' Eli said, inspecting Edward's arm.

The cut was very long but not too deep although it continued to bleed profusely. A frown of concern covered Bella's face as she tore some material from her shirt for bandages. She drew closer to him, gazing into his eyes.

'Maree...get some clean water to drench the wound and you, Bella, hold the wound together,' Eli told her and she responded quickly to the summons as her eyes travelled over Edward's naked torso. With her heart in her throat, Bella watched the water being poured over his arm and she noticed his wince of pain. Touching his arm sent a flurry of butterflies into her stomach and she felt her cheeks flush. She knew he was looking at her as she held his wound together but she intently gazed at Eli's expert bandaging.

When the first aid was finished, she hurried away from Edward, not thanking him for saving her life. Feelings for him filled her with longing and suddenly she wished for all to be different, for her life to be as it had been when they were younger and they had no emotional baggage of pain and regret in their hearts.

Desire engulfed her with a burning need but fear still held her as she continued to ignore him, trying to understand her own mind. As they continued their journey, she often turned in her saddle to watch him and he knew her eyes were on him but he did not meet her gaze...fear held him also as he refused to let a glimmer of hope build momentum in his heart. The touch of her fingers on his skin the previous day had thrilled him with longing but he grew afraid of his need.

As he lay awake that night, he felt a flush of fever and he hoped his wound was not becoming infected. By the next morning, he was feeling really ill and he could not rise when the others did. Bella noticed him first, groaning in pain and she rushed to his side, concern covering her features.

'Eli, hurry!' she said, waking him. 'Edward is ill. What can we do out here with no medicine? If only I had some herbs I could make a poultice!'

Eli inspected the wound, sadly noticing the red ridge of infection. He felt Edward's forehead and sighed. Bella tore more material from the bottom of her shirt and ran to the river to soak the cloth. Hurrying back she laid the cloth across his forehead and gently touched his shoulder. He turned to gaze at her and she saw the tenderness in his eyes. Suddenly, she imagined her life without him and she felt afraid. These feelings confused her as she had lived through great adversity but now she could not accept that she could lose him.

They halted their journey until such time as Edward had recovered and Bella nursed him, washing and dressing his wound. She scoured the countryside each day with her guns on her hip and Eli beside her. She searched for herbs like the ones she had grown to know when she had been with the gypsies.

The men hunted for fresh meat, roots and berries to supplement their meagre rations of beef jerky and biscuits, as they knew Edward needed the extra nourishment of fresh food. As she searched among dense undergrowth one day, she slipped and fell, twisting her ankle. Eli had not been far from her and he heard her cry. He hurried to her aid and saw the tears in her eyes.

'I found these, Eli,' she said, trying to rise to her feet. 'They look so similar...I hope they can reduce the infection and his fever.'

Her smile was hopeful but her friend could see the despair holding her mind and the lurking fear she tried to push away.

'You will not lose him, Bella. You cannot lose him now.'

Suddenly, the tears she had suppressed, burst forth as she cried in his arms. As Eli carried her back to camp, Edward tried to rise to his feet when he noticed her injury but he was so weak he fell back onto his earthen bed.

Eli placed her beside Edward and inspected her ankle, which was starting to swell. He bandaged her injury and found her a strong stick for support when she needed to walk. Exhausted, she sat beside Edward and he watched her. He smiled wanly and gestured for her to come close to his lips. The closeness unnerved her and her heart was pounding.

'Bella...I love you.' Sheer exhaustion claimed him as he fell unconscious with pain. She cried again but grimly determined, hobbled to her fire, pouring water into a bowl and infusing the herbs until they were a mushy paste. Tenderly, she applied the medicine and dressed the wound, as she did, praying for God to spare him. She fell asleep beside him, her hand on his arm and her heart suddenly his again. She remembered his words and as she woke, she vowed to forgive him.

Over the next week, Edward slowly recovered as Bella felt joy knowing the small herb bush she had found was the one Jacobhad shown her. Edward's infection disappeared as did his fever and he gradually regained his strength.

Joy was in his heart to see Bella's devotion and he welcomed the wound of the bear that had brought her back to him. By the second week, he was up and feeling healthy, ready to resume the journey.

It was mutually decided that they would break camp the next morning and that night when all were asleep, Edward wandered up a large rock to watch the beauty of the stars and the majesty of night. A strong breeze was blowing and he enjoyed the freshness of the night and the smell of the forest. He had his guns strapped on but felt no fear. He was more afraid of a life without love.

Bella could not sleep. She had watched Edward walk away from the camp and she saw him sitting on the rock, his profile against the moon. Leaving her blanket, she climbed up to him, deciding that the things she had omitted to say the last few weeks were needed to be said. He did not hear her but when the wind changed direction, her fragrance travelled to him and he turned, staring at her as she walked up to him.

'Can I speak with you, Edward?'

He smiled but fear held his heart.

'I...I...,' she started to say but her courage wavered and then his eyes held hers and the truth that she had thought about the last few weeks struck her like lightning.

'Thank you for saving my life, Edward...you almost lost yours in the attempt. Edward, I...I am sorry, Edward. I have not been fair in the past. Forgive me?'

He stared at her, not believing her words. He had not expected her humility. He continued to stare, disbelieving he was hearing this conversation although he had hoped for it so many times.

Silently, she stood in the moonlight, afraid she had been a fool for too long. The power of love evaporated her fear as she sat beside him.

'I have been wrong. I know now. I love you, Edward. I never stopped loving you.'

He stared at her but remained silent as his hand caressed her cheek. Finally, he found his voice.

'Forgive me?'

She smiled as she kissed him, surprising him, wanting him so desperately, more than she could ever remember. It had seemed so long since she had felt Edward's lips on hers and the feeling overwhelmed her as a cocoon of warmth surrounded her and she melted into his arms.

She had waited so long for their vows of marriage but fate had dealt them a bitter blow and she had married another. She knew she had always longed for Edward's arms holding her in love but she had never known it and now her desperation became an overpowering need, controlling her.

The night birds screeched and the moon shone brilliantly upon them as he held her in his arms.

'I love you, Bella,' he whispered as his lips took hers and their love soared, returned to them one hundred fold. He smiled as he pulled the leather from around his neck and untied her ring he kept close to his heart. Tenderly, he placed it upon her finger and then he took her by the hand, seeking a private place. The night cocooned them and it felt that only they existed as the world around them disappeared.

The End

This is not the end of my story, only really the beginning but I wish to publish it for sale so will withhold the rest. Thanks for all your comments Jill


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